This is a Kai solo project. I randomly found this plot bunny musing in school a few days ago. I thought it would be something kinda new, and I hope to stay away from most fanfic cliques. The coupling is eventual SasuHina. Please be patient. I hope to actually update this story compared to my previous story. Much love to you all. If you're gonna review, do it. If not, I don't care. Thanks for just reading this. I accept ideas.

Btw, the music recommendation for this chapter is: Drop Dead by Lunachicks

I do not own the anime Naruto or its characters.

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The Suicide of Love

"Freak!" the repetition of words suffocated me like smoke. The thin vapors of insult after, insult wore me out.

"Ugly bitch!" the angry voices shrieked.

"Drop dead, cunt!" retorted a faceless student. Slam. I'm hit. Again. The same endless pattern of pain. Repeats. Repeats. Every day. I let myself slide down the lockers. There's no need to get up. There's no one waiting, worrying, or noticing.

High school is the cage for adolescences to be molded and branded by society. Like sheep, we're gathered, directed, and slaughtered. Accepting answers with questioning, we allow our innate intelligence to lay dormant while we all play our part to act out the stereotypes that the media lies out. The pretty masks with pretty red ribbons we don to shield the natural colors of emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Trading the real for surreal, we all conform in one sense or other.

I'm the target. I'm the blame. I'm the outcast. My existence is a nuisance in the eyes of my peers. Disgust. I can see it in all their eyes.

I gather myself and rearrange my supplies back into my satchel. The cold, empty hallway signals the close of the day. With renewed strength, I walk out of the school into the snow covered streets. Dozens of teenagers gather in clustered cliques outside. The cliché groups gather: the populars, the wannabes, and the nobodies. The rulers of all cliques are Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke. All the tribes smile and laugh with bright faces and dull eyes. Especially Sakura.

Her vivid cherry bob tossing in the chill of the wind. Her jade eyes glow as she gazes at her posse. Looking at her, she appears perfect. From my eyes, she appears grotesque. My eyes have always seemed to see deeper into people, like some special ability. What a laugh. Me, special? No. I'm just a failure.

Sakura is always searching for approval of her worth from her friends. She needs the girls to compliment her. She needs the boys to ask her out everyday. Her nervous eyes constantly search for positive feedback from those around her. If she didn't receive the attention, she would have to face how ugly and worthless she feels on the inside. And Sasuke. I don't particularly care about him. He could have everything, yet he rejects the world. Observing him, it appears as if socializing is physically painful for him. Hard stygian eyes that have seen waking nightmares. A dark sheen resonates from his eyes because he's seen death. Real, gory death. The painful kind that torments you every night. I see that same sheen in my own eyes…

I make a game out of my tormentors. Observing, and analyzing their actions and words. I pin their psyches down so that I can feel some sort of power over them, but it's just an illusion.

Oh, Naruto. My hopes were so high for you. But now, you are my betrayer. You acted out so that others would acknowledge your existence. Beneath your childish exterior lies a man, who simply wants love. How, I love you. How, I loved you. You are my heart. You were my heart. You are a fracture in my wrecked spirit.

Now, I'm just a broken wind up toy. My father twists the key; I do a little song and dance. Smile for the world, and then lay still until he twists me again.

Lost in my own self-pity, I didn't notice my feet moving. I didn't notice that I stumbled into Sakura until I slipped on the icy cement.

"Ouchies!" screamed Sakura's harpy voice. She feigned pain even though she wasn't the one spilled on the floor. What an immature creature! Fury gathered around me in waves.

"Are you ok, Sakura?" concern lined Naruto's voice as he sprang towards her. I guess I'm invisible today! Lucky me, I should go rob a bank.

"Shove off!" pushed Sakura. "Sasuke, did you see what it did to me!!" crowed the bimbo. I tried to remain calm. I'm bullied everyday. This is normal. No need to break from character and tell them off.

"I don't care." He muttered and glowered at us all. Crocodile tears pooled in Sakura's eyes as she jutted her lip out in a pout. Naruto fell for it again.

"Oh, no! You're hurt! I can't believe that it would attack you and not apologize." Anger flowed in Naruto. He rose to his full height and glared at me. Knowing that he would never love me hurt, but this could possibly be worse. He hated me. Now, all eyes were on me. I hardly spoke. I went days, sometimes weeks without speaking out loud. At times, I forgot what my audible voice sounded like.

"Sorry…" so that's what it sounds like. Soft, and whispery. I looked down, and retreated within myself. With no back bone, I'm pitiful.

Sakura marched toward me and stood inches from my face. She exclaimed, "DROP DEAD BITCH!" It was the student body's favorite command to use on me. No one stands up for me, they all laugh. Hahaha! Isn't the whole situation hiliarious?

I am stone. No feelings for them to hurt. I'm tired of this. I simply turn around and walk away. The winter wind tugs me ominously home like being drawn into a black hole. I'm alone. What a surprise. I take staccato steps toward my jail.

Everywhere I go is some sort of prison, trap, or cage. The journey home was short, and I make it there in ten minutes. My family's generic mansion was lavishly decorated. It was filled with everything to be desired, except a loving and attentive family. I tread through the large doorway, no one there to greet me. The mansion is empty. My workaholic father doesn't come home until 10pm, and leaves at 5am. He runs our family's multi-billion dollar cooperation. I hardly ever see him, and when I do, he critics me. Never smart enough. Never pretty enough. Never strong enough.

My sister, Hanabi, attends an elite boarding school. She embodies all of my father's ideal qualities. It's not a big secret that Hanabi will take over the cooperation instead of me, the first born. I serve no purpose in the family other than taking up space and shaming all my ancestors.

Mom is dead. She died trying to amend my mistake of being born a girl. She died trying to please my father. The doctor had told him numerous times that mom wouldn't live through the childbirth, but he pushed her. He needed a son, but ironically sacrificed his wife for another daughter. Isn't that hilarious? But in the end of it all, father got a strong heir to take his place. I'm just an extra.

"Hinata-sama, allow me to take your bag to your study." mumbled my maid. I nod. No need for words. I climb the great spiral staircase to my chamber. Pressing open the door, I examined my room. Everything in it is perfectly white and organized. White Egyptian cotton comforter with silk sheets. Soft cream carpet. Ivory dresser and vanity. Priceless, antique porcelain dolls line the walls.

I never got the choice to decorate it. My father hired a designer who chose a page out of some interior design magazine and embellished it without my input. I hate it. I want to smash all the dolls and spatter vibrant paint across the walls. I'm not a four-year-old; I'm fucking sixteen-years-old! I just started my junior year in high school. I'm all riled up again. Calm down. Breathe.

Tired of isolation, I called my best and only friend in the world. Ino would help.

"Hello?" responded Ino.

"Hey. I miss you. How's boarding school?" I sputtered. My tension was starting to uncoil at the thought at finally telling someone how I felt.

"OMG! It's soooo amazing. Everyone's soooo nice. I've made a ton of friends, and there are soooo many cute guys. I even got in the school's popular group! Isn't that, like, the coolest?!" she chirped sounding like an airhead.

"Huzzah! That's neat-o. I'm exuberant for you. But, why are you talking like that?" I questioned. Ino was always articulate and had a vast vocabulary. We would make games of trying to use unusual words. The girl on the receiver sounded nothing like my best friend.

"Like, what are you talking about?" snorted Ino.

"You don't sound like yourself." I confessed.

"Like, what?" she flustered.

"You're sounding like one of those ditzy cheerleaders. Hahaha, stop playing around and really tell me what's going on." I pleaded.

Ino spoke through clenched teeth, "I joined the cheer squad too."

"Oh." that's all I could say.

"You, know Hinata! Don't be upset with me because I grew up. I think you should too and get some new friends!" she spit at me. Click. Dial-tone.

Wow. I think I just lost my best friend.

My mood grew more morose by the second. Everything was falling to shit. I let myself just sit in my bedroom and think. What was the point?

Not to sound emo, but: I have no friends, my family hates me, I'm bullied everyday of my life, and I never speak.

Wandering through my memories, one phrase repeated over in my head.

"DROP DEAD!" "DROP DEAD!" "DROP DEAD!" "DROP DEAD!" "DROP DEAD!" "DROP DEAD!"

The voice of my enemies rose louder until it screeched over everything else. A flow of every emotion cultivated through me until it refined into one steady pulse of hate. I smiled sincerely for the first time in who knows how long. I knew how to simultaneously shame my family and emotionally scare all the students. That night, I ate dinner alone with a wry smile, excited for the next day. My last day of being their victim.

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