Dear Alice
..
By:Disable
A / n - I know, I know! I just want to try out putting this at the beginning that way the whole thing can go unobstructed. I don't know where this will lead, if anywhere. It can stand on its own; however, if it does go anywhere there will be lots of Alice and lots of Bella.
p.s. for some reason all forms of spell check are currently not working. any errors you find are my failure to edit.
p.p.s. i totally have office. i just like using wordpad.
Dear Alice,
Where are you.
That use to be the only think I had to live for; wondering where the fantastic Cullen family had gone and what kind of crazy vampire adventures they were involved in yet knowing my name wasn't in any of their prayers. One lifetime so uneventful as my own couldn't add any kind of flavour to eternity that it doesn't already have nevertheless I still woke up screaming with Edward's hands groping to the walls of my mind.
Nothing in life threw me off course so badly that sleeping became a task. My heart was waging full out mutiny underneath the baggy clothes I opted to wear; there was no use looking pretty when I didn't care for people to notice. I finally realized that I was using the Cullen family to feel good about myself hence the mini breakdown.
It felt wonderful having all you gorgeous people constantly starring at me firing off compliments so fast that my head could barely hold all the air. We're similar you know Alice, even if it's hard to believe; we all feel displaced.
Two months passed by with all the speed of a glacier, if I wasn't off being loner-Bella then I was schrunched up in a chair staring out the window into the trees. Watching the trees go through their motions really helped me I think, they taught me that nothing is really forever, or as good as it seems, but more imporantly I learned things can be built back up into some possibly better than the original.
Edward was the first boy who touched my body in the ways he did. Let's not sugarcoat this: Edward was my first taste of myself. He unlocked a part of me I was content to let sleep until menopause, when the world stopped being so important.
Ooh, how clever.
Unlike you I don't have the rest of time to figure out myself and the world. People have always been a puzzle to me but I know without a doubt I can't survive without someone else. Fear kept me at a distance, Edward sucked away all my tiny insecurities with those feminine lips of his.
Maybe I was just caught up in his beauty lost somewhere between virginity and lust. That really speaks for my control doesn't it, hopefully I won't jump the next guy's bones to quickly.
There. I said it.
I am capable of moving on from Edward Cullen, the whole family actually. We obviously don't need each other. High school is almost over and I'd rather leave this drama in the hallways.
There are still plenty of questions keeping me up at night likewise plenty of things I have to say to you all. Also my hand get's tingly when I think of slapping that arrogant smile of his smooth, stupid face.
Thanks for nothing ass hole, next time don't give the weird quiet girl hope or else she'll turn into me.
But I miss you Alice, call me sometime the number is still the same. Write me a letter, anything. Tell Carlisle and Esme I said hello.
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