Depression Overcome
Shido is battling with depression and can't take it anymore. Can Tohka save him before it's too late? AU
I don't own Date A Live
Please forgive spelling and punctuation
R&R
And Enjoy
Shido's P.O.V
May 8th
I hate my life. Everyone I know hates me. They call me names. The bullies pick on me just because I get good grades and they try to make me do their homework and beat me up when I refuse. "Do your own damn work" I'd tell them. Then they would get mad and say. "What did you say say you little punk." Then they will proceed to punch and kick me until either they get bored or until someone comes and help me which wasn't very often.
At times I feel like even my own parents don't even care about me because there barely home there always so busy with work and their business trips. Even my sisters don't know that anything is wrong with me. To them, I'm just there happy loving brother. And I want it to stay that way I don't want them to worry about me and even if I did how could I tell them. I can't just go up to them and say. "Good morning my lovely sisters Oh by the way I'm suffering from critical depression." I can't do that.
Sigh. I feel like even my best friend Tohka doesn't really care about me. Sometimes I feel like she's only my friend out of pity.
"Onii-chan. dinner's ready!" my sister Mana called.
"Coming! Just give me a minute!"
Right now I'm having thoughts of suicide and they get worse every single day. I hope that things will get better soon. If not then I don't know how much more I can take.
I closed my journal and headed downstairs.
Tohka's P.O.V
Over the past few days, I noticed that Shido was acting stranger and stranger. At first, I noticed that he has become more and more silent. When I ask him is something wrong. He just says that everything is fine. Then I noticed that he wasn't eating anything at lunch. When I ask him about that he'd say that he's just not hungry today. Then I see him writing something in a journal. And every time I ask what's inside he would immediately close it and put it out of arm's reach and say nothing important. It was the end of the of the school day and Shido was about to go home.
"Hey, Shido." He turned around and looked at me. I noticed that he had bags under his eyes, but I decided not to comment on it. "Do you want to walk home together?"
He gave me a smile and said "Sorry Tohka, but I need to do something today next time alright?"
"Oh Alright."
"Bye," he said and then rushed out of the classroom, but then I saw something fell out of his pocket. It was his journal. I picked it up and went out of the classroom "Hey Shido you forgot your-" But he was nowhere in sight "Oh well I'll just give it to him tomorrow." I said to myself.
I looked down at the journal and found that curiosity got the better of me. I know it's wrong to look at someone journal but I couldn't help myself. I when up to the school roof, took a deep breath and opened the journal up to a random page.
May 8th
(This entry was from last week.) I thought as I began to read.
I hate my life. Everyone I know hates me. They call me names. The bullies pick on me just because I get good grades and they try to make me do their homework and beat me up when I refuse. "Do your own damn work" I'd tell them. Then they would get mad and say. "What did you say say you little punk." Then they will proceed to punch and kick me until either they get bored or until someone comes and help me which wasn't very often.
"Shido." I had no idea that he felt like this. I know that he's been bullied, but I never thought that it was this bad.
At times I feel like even my own parents don't even care about me because there barely home there always so busy with work and their business trips. Even my sisters don't know that anything is wrong with me. To them, I'm just there happy loving brother. And I want it to stay that way I don't want them to worry about me and even if I did how could I tell them. I can't just go up to them and say. "Good morning my lovely sisters oh by the way I'm suffering from critical depression." I can't do that.
Is it really that bad that he doesn't even want to let his sisters know about this what about me why hasn't he told me any of this? I'm his best friend am I not?
I feel like even my best friend Tohka doesn't really care about me. Sometimes I feel like she's only my friend out of pity.
He thinks that I'm only his friend out of pity. Why? We've been friends for years why would he think that?
Right now I'm having thoughts of suicide and they get worse every single day. I hope that things will get better soon. If not then I don't know how much more I can take.
"Shido your thinking about killing yourself." I reread that part over and over. Thinking no I must have read that wrong. But no matter how many times I read it. It never changes.
"Shido." I lose the feeling in my legs and fall on my knees. I felt tears threatening to fall. "Shido why? Why? Haven't you told me any of this." I sat there for a moment just letting everything sink in. Then I picked up the journal and turned to the next page.
May 10th
The thoughts have been getting stronger and stronger today I reached for a knife and held it to my wrist. But Kotori and Mana came in and I put it down before they saw anything.
"He's nearly cut himself."
Every page that I read he seems to be closer and closer to hurting himself.
May 17th
This is today's date. He must have written this at lunch.
I can't take it anymore this is going to end tonight. Kotori and Mana won't be home till tomorrow because there sleeping over a friends house. So tonight's the night that I will kill myself. After I go home I will write my final message to everyone and then I will take a knife and stab myself in my heart.
"SHIDO!" I stood up and ran. I ran as fast as I could to his house. On my way there all I could think was please Shido don't do it, please.
It took me about 5 minutes, but I finally made it to his house. I got the spare key from under the mat that they told me about and went inside.
As soon as I opened the door I saw Shido pointing a knife towards his chest. I ran over to him and hugged him from behind and also grabbed part of the knife. I felt the knife cut my hand a bit, but I didn't care. "Shido."
"Tohka?"
I felt his grip on the knife loosen so I took it out of his hands and threw it across the room. Then I turned him around and with my good hand slapped him hard across the cheek.
He looked stunned he put a hand on his cheek and looked at me.
"Tohka? Why are you here?"
I looked in his eyes with my tear stained ones and said. "To stop you. You big idiot." Then I hug him.
"Tohka." He said then I felt him stiffen.
"Tohka let me see your hands."
I brought my hands in front of him for me to see.
He stared at my cut hand before he carefully took it to inspect it.
"Your hurt come on."
"He took my good hand and led me towards the bathroom. I sat on the toilet while he got out a first aid kit.
"Here hold this against the cut okay I'll be right back. I need to clean up the blood."
I shook my head and grabbed his arm.
"Didn't worry I won't hurt myself."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
I let go of his arm and pressed the cloth against my cut as he walks out of the bathroom.
About 5 minutes later Shido still wasn't back. I was about to get up and check on him, but as soon as I was about to he came back.
"Here give me your hand."
I removed the cloth and gave him my hand.
"Hold still."
He took my hand and slowly started to clean my wound. I let out a whine at the pain.
"Sorry."
I shook my head and said. "It's alright." After that, he slowly wrapped my hand in a bandage.
"There all done."
"Thanks, Shido."
He nodded as he put away the first aid kit. Then walked out of the bathroom. I followed him into the living room. Where he stopped and turned to face me.
"How did you know?"
"How did I know what?" I asked.
"How did you know I was planning on killing myself today?"
"Oh, that." I pulled out his journal. "Sorry, but curiosity got the better of me."
"My journal, but why do you have it?"
"I saw you drop it when you left the classroom. I tried to tell you, but you were already gone."
"I see."
We stood there in uncomfortable silence before I asked. "Why Shido? Why did you try to kill yourself."
"Because no one cares for me."
"But that's not tru-"
"YES IT IS." he shouted. "Everyone either hates me or just doesn't care about me. Even my own parents don't seem to care about me." Sometimes I feel like even you hate me."
I stood there shocked. Before I shook my head and looked him in the eyes.
"Do you really think that I hate you?" He just looked down and didn't say anything. "What about your sisters do you think they hate you?" He just continued to look down. I then put my hand on his chin and made him look at me.
"If I really hated you then why would I have been you friend all of these years? Why would I stay by your side throughout all of the years that we have been together? Why would I try to learn how to cook so that I can make you lunch every now and then." I took a deep breath and then I put my hand on his cheek.
"Do you think that I would that I would be here right now to stop you if I hated you?" I then pulled him in for a hug. "Would I be here. Hugging you right now if I didn't care about you?
He still didn't say anything so I decided to do something that I always dreamed of doing. I back out of the embrace and looked deep into his eyes. Then I slowly leaned in and kissed him. I felt him stiffen with shock and by the time that he relaxed I pulled away.
"Shido do you understand how much I care about you now?" I take his hand and placed it over my heart. "Do you feel how much my heart beats for you Shido? Do you understand now why I could never hate you? And how much I truly care about you?
"Yes, Tohka I understand I-I know now just how much you care for me." He then pulled me in for another hug. "I'm sorry Tohka I'm so so sorry."
"It's alright Shido." We just sat there while he let it all out. When he was finally done he looked in my eyes and said. "Tohka thank you. Thank you for everything."
I gave him a smile and said "Your welcome Shido. But next time please talk to me instead or your sisters about this before you do anything stupid okay?"
For the first time in a month, I saw him smile. Not a fake one but a real one. "I promised."
We then both looked into each others eyes and leaned and kissed each other once again.