A/N: Ahh..A Christmas fic. After midnightstealth told me about her doing all these nice things for the needy people, I TRIED to write a more sentimental fic. but my genes just aren't wired for that. SO here's a fic with little dashes of thoughtfulness in it. If you squint enough, you'll see it. I think.
"What's this?" Asked Niou, picking up a piece of paper from the change room bench.
"Um..." Yaguu leaned in to look at it." Looks like a letter."
"It's Kirihara's" Broke in Jackal. "He told me to look after it because he went to the bathroom.
"It's a letter to Santa." Said Niou incredulously, glancing at it. "He still believes in Santa?"
"Can we read it?" Asked Yaguu, not gentlemanly at all.
"Great idea, Yaguu. We're reading it." Niou nodded.
Jackal chewed on his thumb nervously. "Guys...are you sure...?"
"I know you want to read it, don't you?" Niou rolled his eyes. You too, right Yukimura, Sanada, Yanagi and Marui. Stop pretending you can't hear us."
"Alright, you got me." Marui grinned and the whole Rikkai tennis team minus Kirihara crowded around to read the letter.
Dear Santa,
I have been a very good boy this year, so-
"Is he serious?!" Marui yelled. "He's been happily smashing people with tennis balls this whole year!"
"Shut up, Marui."
"Sorry, Yukimura..."
-So I want an Xbox, a wii, a DS, and an elephant. That's not a lot, is it? I guess I should mention my friends too...So there's this red-headed idiot named Marui who-
"Hey!" Yelled Marui indignantly.
"Marui, shut up."
"Déjà-vu...sorry, Yukimura."
-Who like to eat sweets, but never gets fat or diabetes. That's just extremely weird, right Santa? Well, he wants a giant chocolate cake the size of a house-
"Wow, he remembered!" Marui said happily.
"What?" Responded Niou.
"I told him a want a giant chocolate cake the size of a house. He's so considerate, you know..."
"Just because of that?"
-Then there's Jackal The Bald Brazilian. It's impossible for him to grow hair because he's also messed up. I live in a very retarded place, Santa. Jackal says he wants a hair growing potion. As you can see, he's pretty desperate.
"You can't help but love the kid..."Sighed Jackal.
"Shut up."
"Yes, Yukimura."
-Now here's a friends who looks a bit like you. His name is Niou Masaharu. His hair is all gray and old too! Wait-you have white hair. Never mind.
"The little-" Niou began.
"Shut up."
"Yessir."
He's a real trickster. He once even sent three kids to the hospital! I guess he's on the naughty list, huh? Okay, he deserves nothing.
"Hey-! Sorry, Yukimura."
"Good boy."
Then there's Yaguu Hiroshi, a gentleman. He wears all these stiff suits all the time. But he's really kewl because he has glasses. The glasses are kewl. I think he wants a tie. A pink one with flying pigs on it.
"...Do you really want something like that, Yaguu?" Asked Yanagi.
"Yes."
"...Why didn't you tell Yanagi to shut up?" Whined Marui annoyingly to Yukimura.
"Shut up, Marui."
Well, I've gotten past the easy people. There are three monsters at my school. They are literally monsters, except for one. The first monster is Yanagi Renji. He can see with his eyes closed and has weird yellow skin. He wants to take over the world, but you can't give him that. The second monster is and ugly old grouch who grumbles all day and slaps people. His name is Sanada Genchiro. You should see him. His face is so wrinkly. He wants...what does he want? Um...give him skin lotion. He needs it.
"..." Sanada grumbled silently.
The biggest not-a-monster is Yukimura Seichii. He is the most amazingly beautiful, awesome person ever. Actually, he's not even a human. He's actually the child of god. It's true! So he doesn't need anything.
"...You look pleased, Yukimura." Said Sanada.
"I am."
I guess that closes my letter or something. There's this thing someone told me about...peace for the world or something...yeah, that. Peace is good right? Well, I'm just passing on this message to you to give peace to the world.
"I'm not sure whether to feel sentimental or to laugh..." Muttered Yaguu.
"Well, at least his wishes are on the right side of things..." Said Yanagi. "But for all the wrong reasons..."
"Yeah..." Added Jackal.
"Shut up and keep reading, Jackal."
Also, Santa, could you send me a few hundred bucks or so? Sanada keeps nagging me to donate money, and I have none left because Niou took all mine in betting. Oh, yeah, I'm also going caroling! It's really fun singing for people, although I do seem to find that windows seem to shatter whenever I try...
"Maybe Kirihara isn't so dumb and clueless after all..." Said Sanada in awe.
And it takes alot to make Sanada go in awe.
Okay, so my friends don't believe in you. But I know you're real, don't worry. Actually, even if Niou is a boogerface, give him a gift because it's funny when he gets yelled at. LOL! I really hope you can get me what I want. And my friends too. They are very weird, but special. You know, sometimes I think I'm the only sane one!
"What's he talking about?" Muttered Jackal. "He's not sane. I'm sane." He paused to look at Niou. "STOP SNICKERING AT ME! I AM SANE!"
"Shut up, everyone."
I wish you a merry Christmas, Santa.
You bestest BFF forever,
Kirihara Akaya.
"This is weird." Said Niou bluntly.
"Kirihara's coming." Whispered Jackal urgently. They placed the letter back.
"Hiya guys!" Yelled Kirihara, skipping in. "My pee is kinda green. Did you know that? But then I did eat a banana..."
The Rikkai regulars stared at Kirihara in awe. This retard with the green pee was the one that wrote the weirdly nice letter?
But he was Kirihara.
A/N: I fail, I know. But I'll be posting more Christmas fics. THERE'S SO MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT DURING CHRISTMAS.
