Force of Habit
It is often said that we must learn from our mistakes. We are told this by many people whom we assume to be both wise and well-informed. If we do not learn from our mistakes it is then said that we are doomed to repeat them, over and over and over again. Such was the case of a young girl named Sarah. She made a mistake and because of that mistake was almost forced to pay a terrible price. One would think that because of this and the gruelling hardships she had to withstand in order to set right her error she would have learned her lesson. And if that is what one is thinking then I am ashamed to say that one would be wrong.
This is the story of Sarah, the girl who failed to learn...
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Ahhh," remarked the Goblin King, lounging amidst his subjects in the throne room of the Castle-Beyond-The-Goblin-City. "Those sweet words...music to my ears. Alright, boys you heard the human, get to work."
The faithful creatures let out an uproarious cry and promptly vanished, off to cause havoc and mayhem; as was in their nature as well as their job description. Their King meanwhile, a lanky Fae half-breed of both disreputable origin and reputation, straightened himself on his seat of power and set about rearranging the collar of his shirt. The Fae, who went by the name of Jareth but only to the select few who were not required to address him as 'Your Majesty', was a firm believer in the importance of first impressions. If one did not strike fear into the very soul of a mortal within the first seconds of their meeting things were unlikely to proceed well. Something he had learnt from both experience and past mistakes.
Counting the passing seconds in his head the Goblin King waited purposefully, absently brushing a speck of glitter from his shoulder, until he reached the two minute marker. That should be long enough, he thought, wrapping himself up in his cape and disappearing without a sound.
The Goblin King, being the incredibly vain creature that he was, had long since perfected several different methods of entering a room in a spectacular and awe-inspiring fashion. On that particular day, because he was in an oddly whimsical mood, he chose his most flamboyant of entrances. With a flourish, a flash and a hail of glitter he appeared; hands astride his hips and face redirected to show off a masterful Grecian profile.
He expected to hear a shocked gasp or perhaps a deafening scream which was quite often a popular favourite. There was also the option of a shrill cry, a terrified yelp, a fearful laugh, a hysterical sob or any other variation/combination thereof. What he did not expect to hear was an outraged howl from a voice that was painfully familiar.
"You have GOT to be kidding me!"
"Sarah," the Goblin King said, somewhat confused and yet delighted at the same time. "Well isn't this a nice surprise?"
"No! No it is NOT a nice surprise," the girl, whose name was quite obviously Sarah, replied. "What are you doing here Goblin King?"
"I would have thought that was obvious my dear." The Fae smirked maliciously and turned his gaze to focus on the now empty cot the young teenager was standing next to.
"You can't take Toby," Sarah said (Toby being the name of the currently absent infant who was Sarah's half brother). "I beat your stupid Labyrinth. I won, now give him back!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Jareth said, pacing idly around the room. "The Goblins and I were summoned and we have a duty to perform. YOU summoned us Sarah." His grin widened and he leaned in close so he could watch the cogs as they began to whir furiously inside the girl's head.
"No I didn't," Sarah protested.
"Yes you did," the King corrected with a smug all-knowing type of expression he had cultivated for just this kind of situation plastered on his face.
"Did not."
"Did too,"
"Did not."
"Did too."
Sarah huffed an enraged sigh and placed her hands firmly on her hips "I DID N-". She stopped so suddenly it was as if an apple (or any other figurative fruit of a reasonable size) had been shoved into her mouth. The idea was not all that unappealing.
The Goblin King smiled indulgently, mulling over this thought while it was obvious Sarah was retracing the last few minutes in her mind. "– DAMN IT!"
"You see." Jareth crossed his arms. "Now let's see how well you remember your options from last time. You have 13 hours in which to solve the Labyrinth before –"
"-Wait, hold of a second," Sarah interrupted. "Aren't you going to offer me my dreams?"
"After the last time?" The Goblin King raised a ridiculously sculpted eyebrow, unsure whether to be impressed or insulted by her cheek. He laughed. "I think not..." And with that he vanished, leaving Sarah standing on the hilltop outside the Labyrinth once more.
There was a Challenger in the Labyrinth. Hoggle knew this because, as always, he had been snatched away from whatever it was he had been doing (in this case he had been reading a book by the Underground's leading (and only) author, Sir Squiggly) and plonked down in front of the pond just outside the great walls. Heaving a sigh at the loss of the works of Sir Squiggly Hoggle dutifully unzipped his flies and began the not so long wait of the inevitable.
Sure enough, less than 3 minutes later, while he was in the middle of mentally dissecting Sir Squiggly's latest and possibly most popular novel, he was interrupted by a light cough. Acting flustered and suitably embarrassed he turned, ready with a rude reprimand, only to find a familiar face staring back at him
"Sarah?" he exclaimed, confusion furrowing his already severely furrowed brow. "What are you doin' back 'ere?"
Sarah sighed. "Long story," She stepped forward, looking hopeful. "Can I explain on the way?"
Hoggle shrugged and together they set off. Again.
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Finally!" the Goblin King exclaimed, so bored he had been seriously considering an attempt of mass goblinocide. "Alright lads off you go!" The Goblins went and Jareth hurriedly checked his hair in the reflection afforded by a discarded saucepan; a Goblin helmet no doubt. "What is wrong with these stupid humans? Is it too much to ask that they wish away a child every now and again?"
He started the countdown but was so restless by the time he reached 1 minute and 10 seconds that he thought to hell with it and made the jump. Not bothering with the any of the usual time consuming drama that he normally took so much pleasure in he simply appeared without a word and then rounded on the culprit.
"Sarah..," the Goblin King blinked. Sarah had been the last person to wish a child away and considering it had been the second time he would have thought she had learned her lesson.
Apparently not.
"What the hell do you want?" Sarah snarled, having to recover from the slight surprise of having a Goblin King materialise not two inches from her nose.
Jareth raised an eyebrow. "Do you really have to ask?" It wasn't exactly the type of entertainment he had been hoping for but he was flexible. Beside he still needed to get his revenge for the last TWO times she had beaten him.
"Well, I didn't wish Toby away this time-"
"I think you'll find you did..." the Fae interrupted, a small smile creeping onto his features.
"Goblin King," Sarah said, seemingly trying to be reasonable about the whole, somewhat bizarre, situation. "I've wished my brother away TWO times already. How stupid would I have to be to -". Again the fruit induced silence.
Jareth waited patiently for the penny to drop.
"Crap." Sarah muttered.
"I couldn't have said it any better myself," Jareth responded, now immensely more cheerful than he had been. "Now off you go Sarah," He gave her a little push down the side of hill. "You only have 13 hours remember?"
He was back at the fountain again. To be fair it had been a while. He had managed to finish his book but still didn't appreciate the disruption of his daily routine. Hoggle HAD been enjoying a cool drink and a goblin massage (which was surprisingly more enjoyable than one might think) which meant that he wasn't exactly appropriately dressed but didn't think the Challenger would notice.
About to go about his business he was stopped by a well known voice and he turned incredulously to see Sarah casting him a guilty glance.
"Hi Hoggle..."
Hoggle rubbed his brow. "Come on then," he grumbled, yanking the towel up around his waist in a somewhat disgruntled fashion. Then they left.
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Alright guys, this time I want you to think 'spooky'. It's almost Halloween Aboveground and we need to work on our act." Jareth instructed while assembling his best 'hooded look'.
The Goblins nodded eagerly but their King was doubtful as to whether they had understood a single word he said. "Off you go then!" he commanded. More eager nodding and then they were gone.
Two and a half minutes later Jareth followed them, adding the extra time so as to build the suspense.
He arrived dressed in shadow and was preparing to give the mortal the fright of her life when he realised who it was and dropped the act like a one might drop a bog snake - very quickly and with a hand over one's nose.
"Sarah," he said, sounding oddly formal.
"Jareth." Apparently four meetings meant they were both on a first name basis now.
There was silence.
"You're going to make me run it again aren't you?"
He paused.
"Yes."
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Let's rock and roll!" the Goblin King cried, leaping into the air and taking on his owl form before even one of the Goblins had the chance to realise what was going on. Slightly bewildered they looked at each other, wondering what it was they were supposed to do. Patiently they waited, plucking at chicken feathers and scratching their toes. Finally a bellow echoed throughout the Castle-Beyond-The-Goblin-City.
"Move it you imbeciles!" And they did, arriving only seconds after their master had appeared in the mortal realm. It took them (collectively) maybe a minute to realise that their surroundings were vaguely familiar and by the time they had managed that the discussion (albeit a very brief one) that had been going on above their heads had ended and they had been left alone.
Well almost...there was still the baby who, oddly enough, seemed to be waiting for them. Shrugging the Goblins picked up the pyjama clad toddler and scurried home, back to the Castle-Beyond-the-Goblin-City, thinking perhaps that they had done something wrong.
Hoggle had lost count of how many times Sarah had been back to the Labyrinth. On that particular day it seemed she was in a rather bad mood. Without so much as a word she stormed past him and glared at the gates as they hurriedly swung open and out of her way.
Sighing, Hoggle rolled his eyes and slowly began to march after her.
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Let's get this over with," Sarah groaned, stifling a yawn. "I've got an early start tomorrow."
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Honestly Sarah you baffle me," Jareth admitted, still in the process of tying his shirt since he had been summoned out of his bed. "You SEEMED like a bright enough girl when we first met. Why do you keep doing this?"
Sarah didn't notice the casual insult tossed her way as she was busy clearing the shards of a broken glass off the kitchen floor, instead she shrugged. "Force of habit I guess. Hold this." She handed him a plastic bag containing the now deceased drinking implement.
Jareth did so and after that was done took Sarah back, once again, to the Labyrinth, planning on getting another few hours sleep before she reached the Castle-Beyond-The-Goblin-City.
"I wish the Goblins would come and take you away, right now!"
"Jareth, would it kill you to make this a little more difficult for me?" Sarah protested, standing in the Escher room that now boasted several bottomless pits, an entire section of motion triggered steel spikes, a raving firey or two as well as a mountain of other torturous traps and devious devices. Sarah dodged them all with an insulting amount of ease and didn't even blink when she was almost run over by a two ton Cleaning Machine. "It's almost like you want me to win or something. Did you ever think that maybe if this were a little harder I might not wish Toby back again so quickly?"
"The thought HAD crossed my mind once or twice," Jareth remarked dryly while standing on the ceiling, watching as 5 other 'Jareths' ran off in different directions defying all manner of physical laws, not just gravity.
"I mean really," Sarah continued, thoughtlessly. "If you don't put any effort into your work it's no wonder you're stuck in this dead end job."
Am I allowed to gag her? The Goblin King wondered, rubbing wearily at his mismatched eyes. Where's a decent sized fruit when you need one?
"I wish..."
"That's it! That's it! I can't take ANYMORE," the Goblin King roared, looking more haggard that he rightfully should at only a mere one thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine years old. "I have had ENOUGH! Wait here," he instructed the Goblins and vanished in a puff of glitter that seemed to be sadly less than its usual glittery self. The Goblins did as they were told, not one of them wanting to point out that they hadn't attended at least the last two Summonings, probably more considering that two was as far as most of them could count.
"Sarah, I swear," Jareth snarled, materialising in a spontaneous and completely unnatural flash of lightning (it was the middle of May and there wasn't a cloud in the sky). "I swear to whatever god you put your faith in, if you say the words 'I wish' once more I'm going to-"
Unfortunately Jareth never had the chance to finish explaining the cruel and creative ways in which he intended to punish Sarah because his tirade was interrupted by a purposefully placed cough. He stopped mid sentence and for the first time deigned to take notice of his surroundings, as well as his company.
The Goblin King blinked.
Sarah was there, laying sprawled out on her bed (which was hardly unexpected) but as well as Sarah there were two other girls in the room, one perched on the windowsill and the other sitting on a rug surrounded by a pile of text books. All three girls were staring at him, two with wide eyes and gaping mouths and the other with an exasperated expression that was somehow reflected in her entire, casual demeanour.
"Erm, hello," Jareth said, all righteous anger having evaporated only to be replaced by a feeling of acute foolishness. ALWAYS check the room, Jareth berated himself silently. Always check. What would his old instructor have said, not to mention his mother?
"Hi," Sarah replied shortly while her two friends waved at him a little uncertainly.
"Sorry to interrupt but... did you just –?" He was so sure he had heard the words, although given the current situation it did seem somewhat unlikely. Still, best to check.
"No, I didn't."
"Are you sure?" Maybe it was the stress; he had been somewhat overworked recently.
"Positive," Sarah assured.
There was an awkward silence. Of all the people to catch me in a mistake it just HAD to her.
"Right," Jareth mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "I'll just go then."
"Good idea," Sarah said, rolling her eyes and waving him away with an imperious hand as she turned her attention back to the open biology work book she had propped in front of her.
Dazed and more than a little embarrassed Jareth left the room via the door and stood out in the hallway for quite some time, oblivious to the fact that either one of Sarah's parents could stumble upon him at any moment.
He HAD heard the words. He knew he had. It wasn't just that he was going a little crazy, having to cater to Sarah's constant demands or that he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in goodness knows how long. Maybe he needed a holiday. I hear the Out Realms are lovely this time of year, the Fae thought to himself absently, already running through his mental contact list to see who he could ask/bribe/force/(plead with) to watch the Goblins for awhile. It was a short list a getting shorter by the second when he heard it again.
"I wish..."
Putting his impromptu holiday plans on hold Jareth cocked his head a listened this time, tracing the wish back to its source. The answer he got caused him to frown. Rather than having to disappear and reappear again on some far and unseemly part of the planet Jareth simply stepped down the hallway and pushed open an unmarked door on his right.
Inside the room there was a toddler, a toddler he was far more familiar with than he had any right to be really, with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Toby was sitting up his cot and he smiled at Jareth when he the Goblin King came to stand over him. Proudly he held up the newly detached head of a stuffed bear formerly known as Lancelot and opened his mouth to repeat his very first words.
"I wish..."
For the second time that day Jareth blinked. Then the corners of his lips stretched into a gloriously triumphant, almost maniacal grin.
"That's my boy," he praised, beaming down at Sarah's sorely abused brother. "Tell me what you wish, I think I can guess."
Ah, isn't revenge sweet?
And so here ends the story of Sarah, the girl who failed to learn. Unfortunately for Sarah while she may have not learned anything during the course of this tale her brother did. Hence why he is now a lavishly spoiled only child and Sarah, well...
... Sarah has no one to blame but herself. She really should have learned.
This is quite an old piece I found hiding in a file on my computer. I'm not completely happy with it but there are some elements of it that I quite like. I'd appreciate any feedback you'd be prepared to give.