InterLUDE: A Deadpool in a Power Rangers School

By Xenomorph666

Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.

DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.

Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.

Universe: Angel Grove (With a guest star!)

AN: What was it like when Deadpool got shuttled to Angel Grove curtosey of the Scions? Read to find out from the Merc's point of view.

A Deadpool in a Power Rangers School

So, I got this weird job from some dude in Goth make-up and a black dress to spy on some friends of his, easy 50 Grand, or so I thought. As it turns out I was spying on some insane ultra powerful ultimately out of this universe being and his two friends. Well when I get there I'm doing great the guy I happened to have been spying on was really neat. He had tons of weapons and test areas for them, I wanted to use them so badly just to make a few explosions, but despite my urges I pressed on. The I was discovered; how I was discovered I'll never know, but the next second after I was discovered the ground fell out beneath me a sucked me into some strange silver tube (I could have sworn I saw my house from there too).

So after a few seconds of falling and screaming a bright light appears and I see the cafeteria table come rushing up to meet my face. Ever hit a cafeteria table while falling at an unknown rate of high speed? The results usually ain't pretty and this was no special occasion, that's for sure. So after I peeled myself off the table I looked up to see five losers in their thirties dressed like high school kids from the nineties. I had a clue where I was, but I wasn't sure.

"Aw jeez, I gotta remember to never take jobs from guys in make-up and black dresses!" I had to groan it, there's no other way to sound after hitting a table at infinity miles per hours.

"Who is this guy?" The kid in blue asked.

"One of Rita's goons no doubt." A black kid in black shouted. My clues were growing.

"Wait…" I tried to gather my facts aloud. "A high school cafeteria with teens that look like they're in their late thirties…"

"I am not thirty!" The Asian woman said. I think she was padding her bra too.

"Yeah, Trini's only nineteen!" The kid in blue shouted.

"Oh for -bleep-'s sake!" I shouted, I couldn't believe what was happening. "What the –bleep-? I'm in a –bleep-in' Power Ranger universe that -bleep-in' censors me?" Have I mentioned I love free speech?

"Man talk about a mouth." A girl in pink smirked. At least they knew what I was saying.

"All right guys lets get him." A built guy in red said.

"Hey, whoa, listen I'm not who you think I am." I tried to persuade them to not attack me. Why do I even bother though; I know there's someone typing away at their little computer or typewriter or what have you that's doing this to drive me loco on the Looney Tunes Express. "I'm a mercenary."

"Like that doesn't make you less of one of Rita's goons!" A guy in a green shirt ran in.

"Oh hey, it's one of you Power Freaks that can actually claim to know what he's doing!" I smiled under my mask. "Listen, I was sent to this universe as sort of a punishment deal…"

The guy in red cut me off. "So now you're turning your anger on Angel Grove, I don't think so!"

"What hey, no, you got me all wrong, I wanna go back home!" I knew the losers who sent me here had to be watching. "You know I'm gonna completely own them if you don't do something!"

"Who's he talking to?" The little Asian woman asked.

"I don't know but he just threatened us!" The kid in blue said.

"What? Hey no, I'm trying to get the losers that sent me here to send me back home!" I shouted. "I could care less about you and your crazy adventures in you lunatic robots of doom, but if you push it, I'll spank you."

"You really think you can take us on?" The red guy asked.

"Oh boy, this isn't going where I wanted it to go…" I groaned, after I said that they went into their little transformation schpiel and proceeded to knock me through a wall. I have no idea WHY they needed to do that as I was already running for a door.

After that each of them proceeded to knock the living bejesus out of me like I'd never had the living bejesus knocked out of me before. The yellow one even kneed me in the groin.

"Had enough?" The Red Ranger asked.

I already told you I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Then something landed in front of me. It was the big yellow guy with wings. Goldy I think his name was. He started gloating about how he was going to beat the Rangers for his boss or some –bleep-. What? My narration is censored too? I need to renegotiate that contract, 50 Grand ain't worth this. Anyway, I got sick of Goldy taking on and on about how he was gonna kill the Rangers, I blew his head off.

"He shot him!" The Pink Ranger shouted. "He killed him!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you can thank me later." I waved dismissively. "Now how about gettin' that big floatin' head to send me home."

"You just killed you ally!" The Green Ranger shouted.

"What is idiocy a disease here? I already said I don't want to hurt you retards!" I shouted.

They charged me with their funky weapons; I pulled out an Uzi and laid down the spread fire. It was like watching the show all over again. I felt like a little kid, with heavy fire power.

"Listen already I don't want to hurt you!" I shouted again. "I just want to go home!"

"I think we should listen to him." The Black Ranger said. "I also think I need a doctor."

"Yeessh, what a bunch of losers!" I groaned and walked off just in time to have the ground give way once more.

When I blacked out and woke up once more I was hanging upside down with all the Power Rangers standing around me. Then I was turned around and made to face the giant floating head.

"Hi giant floating head guy!" I waved. "Can you send me back home, like now?"

I am afraid I cannot do that." The head spoke. "Only those who sent you here can."

"Oh lovely." I groaned.

"By the way how did you know who we were?" The Red Ranger asked.

"In my reality you're a TV show, although the pink one gets in a few movies." I said cheerfully.

"Really?" The Pink Ranger smiled.

"Yeah, love the topless scenes babe." I laughed loudly. What, it was funny to see her face go completely "OH MY GOD I'M IN PORNO!" and the look on then Green Ranger's face was equally priceless.

"What about the girl who plays me?" The Yellow Ranger asked.

"OH she dies in a car accident." I said. "And another thing; she was a woman."

"Ok we get the point the people who play us in your reality are older." The Blue kid said defensively.

"You're still a geek." I said.

"Hey…" The Blue Ranger went to argue, but his Black Ranger friend spoke up.

"What about the guy who plays me?" He smiled.

"Last I saw he was in a PetCo Commercial." I said with a smile.

"What?" He shouted. "That's an outrage!"

"Better than these two; they can't get a job outside the series for the life of them." I laughed.

"Well I guess that's not too bad." The Green Ranger nodded.

"Sounds good to me." The Red Ranger smiled.

"Yeah, but the last thing he's in is a cheap made for video movie." I laughed at the Red Ranger. "The Green one actually has a future in the series for some reason!"

"I think we should have left him for the cops." The Re Ranger grumbled.

"Wait, wait I'm not done yet!" I shouted. "A kid does a better job as a ranger than he does!" I pointed at the Blue Ranger. "And he's smarter too!"

"What?" The Blue Ranger was mortified.

"To be fair you marry an alien chick." I snorted. "Oh an lets not forget the race issues the Yellow and Black Rangers bring up."

"What race issues?" The Black Ranger asked.

"You're a black guy and the Black Power Ranger, while she is the Yellow Ranger and Asian." I said.

"Ok I can get how some people would be offended by my being the Black Ranger, but Trini as the Yellow Ranger how's that offensive?" The Black Ranger was completely clueless.

"Think about it dim bulb. Meanwhile I'm going to count the rubber duckies that are talking to be from blood rushing to my head!" I snapped.

A few seconds later the world went black again and I woke up in an alley with a suitcase full of cash, I later counted it to find 150 Grand, and a tape. I have yet to watch the tape. I already know what's on there and the memories are enough.

I still haven't gotten the 50 grand from the Goth guy either.