Litanya: This is another depressing one that I am writing because there just aren't enough angst fics which show some of the characters being depressed for normal reasons. There are, however, enough 'depressed Yama' fics to drown the population of Australia. I don't own Digimon by the way. Oh, and this comes after 02 but the 25 years later thing doesn't exist. This fic is pretty short, but I hope it makes a point. (Not only about the angst section of Digimon, but about life.)

'I Didn't Know'

Koushiro read the e-mail again as he waited for the room to settle. He had called all of the digidestined over to his apartment after receiving an urgent e-mail from Gennai. He closed his eyes for a second to steady himself. This was easily the most dangerous mission that they would face. There was no evil Digimon trying to take over the world; in fact there was no evil Digimon. But if the digidestined didn't act quickly, most of them would be dead by the end of the week.

"So Koushiro, what's this about?" Taichi Kamiya, the unofficial leader when both groups of digidestined met, was the only one who remained standing. He was leaning casually against the wall closest to where Koushiro sat and he appeared to be trying to peek at the screen. Koushiro surveyed the room. Everyone was there. Sora, Yamato and Iori were seated on the couch. Sora and Yamato were flipping through a magazine, talking softly, whilst Iori sipped on a bottle of prune juice, which his grandfather had given to him before he had arrived. Koushiro wondered briefly why Taichi wasn't sitting with Yamato and Sora- they were his best friends after all- but he continued to check the room.

Takeru and Hikari, the youngest of the 'original' digidestined and the only ones with both crests and digimentals, were playing a card game on the floor in front of the couch. Miyako and Ken were arguing over something to do with the computer club. Ken had become a lot happier since Koushiro had first met him, and Miyako was almost always around him. Mimi and Jyou, Koushiro's own best friends, were sitting silently. Jyou had a medical book open in his lap, and Mimi was checking her make-up in her mirror. Daisuke, the leader of the second group of digidestined, was messaging someone on his phone. Everyone was there. There was no reason to delay what he had to say. Still his eyes lingered on the group.

Taichi didn't look well- he had bags under his eyes and he really seemed to be leaning on the wall a little too much. Hikari coughed loudly. Ken was rubbing his temples when he thought no one was looking. Yamato had his eyes closed, even though he was supposedly reading the magazine. He disregarded Taichi's 'symptoms' as overwork. The seventeen year old had been working much too hard lately, and Koushiro knew that it was taking a toll on the boy. Hikari, Yamato and Ken's 'symptoms' were worrying. They didn't have much time.

"I got an e-mail from Gennai. This is what it says:

Dear Digidestined,

I hope you are all well and that you are enjoying your time at home. I must inform you however, that unless you act quickly your time is short. I was recently researching the 'Dark Ocean' to discover if there was a way to keep Daemon locked there forever. What I found out was quite disturbing. There is a power in that place which creates a sickness in whoever enters. In other words, all of you digidestined who have been to the Dark Ocean are going to get sick. They will get sicker and sicker until they die. There is a cure though. Somewhere near Infinity Mountain there is a patch of flowers. A certain flower, called 'Light's Belle' by the local Digimon, can heal the sickness. However, there is a catch. This flower is scarce- we estimate that there are only eight of these flowers left. Those who have been in the Dark Ocean for the longest amount of time will need to be treated first- their condition will deteriorate rapidly. Good luck in your search. The flower is pink and looks a lot like what you people on Earth call a 'tulip'. Please, your time is running short. Again, good luck.

Gennai

When Koushiro finished reading the e-mail, silence reigned.

"Who has been to the Dark Ocean, or touched by the Darkness?" Taichi asked finally, after what had seemed to be an eternity. His voice didn't sound quite right. Koushiro reasoned that he was worried about his little sister. Hikari had been in the Dark Ocean for a long time when the Scubamon had taken her there against her will. Eight hands went up hesitantly, "How long were you there, if you know?" Right… he'd almost forgotten that the order mattered.

"I was there for a while… I kept on going there after my brother's death and then when I was… you know," Ken refused to let his gaze move from the carpet, "I'm guessing that the total time I was there could add up to weeks." Immediately he was placed at the top of Koushiro's mental list.

"I was only there for at most half an hour," Miyako said quickly, as though she wanted to let them know that she should be at the bottom of the list. He ticked her name off.

"I was there when we went to get Hikari. I have no idea how long," Takeru shrugged, glancing at Hikari, "About an hour or so, maybe?" Koushiro placed Takeru above Miyako.

"I was there all day," Hikari was shuffling the cards she and Takeru had been playing with. She dropped a few onto her lap, and then quickly gathered them, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. She was placed second on the list.

"I was there for a while… when Gabumon and I were wandering, and then when Jyou and I helped Sora. I don't know… maybe five or six hours altogether?" Yama was placed under Hikari in the list.

"I wasn't there all that long. It was probably between half an hour to an hour," Sora flipped a few pages in the magazine. Her auburn hair hid her face. She went above Miyako in the list.

"I was there for only twenty minutes at the very most. I would say that it was for less time than Miyako was there," Jyou announced as he pushed his glasses back up his nose with one hand and marked his place in his book with the other. Jyou's name went to the bottom of the list.

"I haven't been there for very long, probably five minutes. I was there because we were looking for Miyako and Hikari," Daisuke' name went to the bottom of the list. The boy had put his phone away, and was now starting at Taichi, "Hey Taichi, are you okay? You don't look very well." That caused everyone to look up at their leader of course. Taichi grinned and managed to look a little sheepish.

"I uh… stayed up all night doing my history essay. I didn't know that we were going to be needed in the Digital World. I'll be fine. We should leave now- the sooner we get there the sooner everyone can get better and the sooner we can go home and sleep. Let's go guys!" the effect of Taichi's enthusiasm was spoilt a little by the fact that he had to wait for Daisuke to open the gate to the Digital World. Soon the world was turning upside down and they were in the Digital World…

The gate opened into a large field which was filled to the brim with flowers. Flowers of all shapes and colours filled the field, dazzling the destined as they picked themselves up off the floor.

"Great! How are we supposed to find eight flowers in all of these?" Mimi asked, staring with a sudden dismay at the flowers in front of her. She had hoped that the job would be easy. She didn't want her friends to die. Takeru knelt down and started checking the flowers closest to him. The non-verbal reply told Mimi what to do.

"We should probably split up into two groups. If we start out at the edges and move in towards the center we should be able to find what we need," Taichi directed. He split the group into two groups of six and led his group off towards the edge of the field on the left. Daisuke led his group away to the right. The search was hard going. The field was quite large, and the flowers were growing quite close together. They felt like they were trying to find a needle in a hay stack. They managed to devise a system. They each found a stick and used that to mark their places for when they needed to rest.

"Hey, I think I've found one!" Daisuke called out, looking very excited. They had been searching for two hours now and it was beginning to grow dark. The others pushed their sticks into the ground and raced over to where Daisuke was carefully holding a delicate, tulip-like pink flower. Koushiro glanced at it approvingly.

"That's what Gennai told us it would look like," he confirmed, "Now, I got another e-mail from Gennai a little while ago. It said that to get rid of the taint, the person must eat the petals. Ken, you are first." Ken gingerly took the flower from his best friend and glanced at it a little doubtfully.

"Come on Ken, it's just a flower. It might taste bad, but at least you will get better," Miyako encouraged. The others all joined in and although Ken still looked a little skeptical, he ate the petals of the flower.

"Alright, that's one down. Hopefully we can find another before we have to go home for dinner," Taichi ordered everyone back to their places. Takeru and Taichi managed to happen upon the next one at the same time. They had been in the same group, and they had been searching next to each other.

"Here you go Hikari, your brother and I found this one," Takeru handed the flower to his girlfriend.

"Yep, now it'll probably taste better than Mum's cooking, so you'll probably like it," Taichi told her in case she was worried about the taste. She didn't appear to be too worried. She seemed grateful.

"Thanks guys, I owe you one," she told them as she began to take the petals off the flower. Takeru and Taichi just dismissed what she had said. They loved her, although in different ways, and wanted to keep her alive so she could stay with them. It was only natural for her to want to stay alive too. The search continued, but before long the field grew too dark.

"I'm sorry guys, but my Mum will freak out if I don't go home now," Iori apologised politely, his green eyes filled with guilt, "But I promise that I will be here tomorrow after school." Sora smiled at the youngest of the group.

"It's okay Iori; my Mum will want me home now too. Besides, I promised that I would make dinner. Why don't we all meet back at the high school computers labs straight after school tomorrow?" they all nodded and agreed. The world went topsy-turvy again as they all went home.

"Taichi, you haven't eaten all of your dinner!" Hikari glanced over at her brother's plate and saw that he hadn't eaten half of what he had been given. She frowned. Taichi was usually the first finished, and it was rare when he didn't have two servings of whatever was being offered. He still didn't look well, but she wasn't too worried. Taichi was strong- even when he got sick, he was full of energy. Besides, he was probably just over-tired. She knew that when she didn't get enough sleep, she felt really sick when she ate. It was probably that.

"I'm sorry Mum I just don't feel…" he trailed off and raced towards the bathroom. Her mother stared after her son, concern written all over her face. She always worried too much whenever one of her children was sick, all because Hikari had had to go to hospital when she was younger and had almost died.

"Did Taichi tell you that he was sick?" her mother demanded to know. Hikari shrugged.

"I think he's just over-tired. He stayed up all last night doing an essay and I know that he hasn't been sleeping much. I know that I always feel like vomiting when I don't get enough sleep. Don't worry Mum, he'll be fine," Taichi came back into the room and resumed his place at the table. Her mother frowned and placed a hand on his forehead.

"I'm fine Mum," he protested, trying to push her hand away, "I just need some sleep, that's all." His attempts to push her away failed.

"Well, you don't have a temperature. Go and get some sleep. And if I find out that you have stayed up all night because of an essay ever again, you are in so much trouble," Taichi sighed and nodded glumly. He bid goodnight to the rest of the family and then disappeared into his room. Hikari reminded herself again that he was just tired, but she couldn't help feeling that something was very wrong.

They all assembled straight after school in the lab. Sora was skipping tennis, Taichi was missing soccer, and Yamato had cancelled a band rehearsal. Everyone was worried about Yamato. He didn't look as though he had slept very well, and he randomly lost his balance. They knew that they needed to find the flower quickly. He wouldn't die that day, at least they hoped that was the case, but he didn't have that much time.

"Alright guys, you know what we have to do!" the field was just as they had left it. Each destined went over to the stick they had placed in the ground the night before and began their search again. They hadn't covered all that much distance the night before and the task seemed to be almost impossible. How were they supposed to find the rest of the flowers in time? Hikari had told them that Takeru had had a migraine all day. Sora had been having dizzy spells. Each of them appeared to have completely different symptoms, and yet they were suffering from the same thing.

"I think I got one!" Sora cried put joyfully, cradling the flower in her hands as though it was the most important thing in the world. At that moment, the destined all felt as though it was. She handed the flower to Yamato, who kept his face expressionless. Even though he was trying to hide it, they could all see the gratitude through his eyes. It had taken an hour and a half, but Sora had cured Yamato. The next on the list was Takeru. As Yamato's symptoms seemed to disappear, Takeru's continued to get worse. The rate of it was increasing. Sora was also finding it tough to keep searching.

"Takeru, I have a present for you!" Hikari called out after another two hours had gone by. Four down, four to go. Everyone was exhausted, and it was growing dark again.

"Okay gang, we'll meet again tomorrow, same time, same place," Taichi told everyone as they met up in the center of the field. They were about to disperse when Taichi's eye caught something on the ground. He bent over and called out before everyone left, "Hey Sora… you were next on the list, weren't you?" The auburn-haired girl nodded, suddenly curious. She couldn't see what he was holding.

"Yeah, Sora's next," Koushiro confirmed. Taichi grinned.

"Here you go then," as Sora took the flower, she could have sworn that Taichi's hand was trembling. But the thought didn't last long. She was safe. She felt relieved, and she knew that she would be in her best friend's debt for a very long time.

"Thanks Taichi," was it her imagination or was his grin more lop-sided than usual? It must be her imagination. After all, she hadn't taken her 'medication' yet. That was all.

"That's what friends are for," he told her as they began to walk towards the gate back home, "Now you'd better eat that. We don't want your symptoms becoming worse." She smiled and popped one of the petals into her mouth to demonstrate that she would do as he had said. Five down, three to go.

Miyako's older siblings had a little meeting that night, once Miyako had gone to bed.

"I'm a little worried about Miyako," her oldest sister said worriedly, "She didn't yell at me for drinking the last can of lemonade, and she made me cover for her at the store today." Her siblings seemed to concur.

"She was looking a little pale too. And she didn't use the phone tonight. She's usually talking to that 'Ken' guy for most of the night," this came from her oldest brother, "And she usually sleeps late. It's barely eight o'clock now and she's already asleep!" There was a short silence as each of them struggled to figure out what was wrong. They were her siblings- they were supposed to tease her and push her around a bit, but they also cared for her very deeply. She was the youngest of the family, and they felt that it was their duty to protect her, no matter what.

"Should we tell Mum and Dad about this?" the second youngest of the family asked hesitantly. There was a considering silence now. They didn't like to bring their parents into things unless the matter was really serious. Their parents loved them, but they were very busy with the store and the apartment that they barely had time for much else.

"No," Momoe said finally, "If she hasn't improved by tomorrow night, then we'll tell them. There's no point in worrying them unless we know something for sure. Miyako's a strong girl- she'll figure it out by tomorrow." The meeting broke up soon after that. There is nothing that can bring siblings closer together than one of their sibling's problems.

They were back in the field. Ken and Iori found the next flower, after only ten minutes. Miyako's cheeks had been a flushed red when she had arrived at the high school, and her eyes had been a little unfocused. Ken had reported that she had been talking to an imaginary person all day. Everyone was relieved when she had eaten the petals, and Miyako looked relieved too. They continued their search again. Two hours rolled by and no one found anything.

"I think we have one over here," Mimi and Koushiro called out. Jyou was cured. Daisuke was now the only one in need of a flower. He hadn't had many symptoms so far. He was feeling a little tired, but nothing more than that. He had barely been in the Dark Ocean after all.

"I've found the last one," Jyou handed it to Daisuke and the group met in the middle of the field once again.

"That's everyone, isn't it?" Iori asked, hope shining in his eyes. Koushiro nodded.

"There were eight flowers and eight people. We were lucky that no one else had been there, otherwise there wouldn't have been enough," he smiled. They had saved their friends. They could all go home now and know that their friends were safe from the Dark Ocean. It was late once again, and dinners were about to be served, so they all went home.

Hikari walked with her brother back to their apartment. Sora was walking with them, as her apartment building was next door to theirs.

"I'm so glad that everyone is going to be okay," Hikari said as she practically skipped along the sidewalk. Taichi didn't reply- he seemed to be lost in thought. Sora smiled. She had been so scared that they would lose someone. That field had been packed with flowers, and finding eight of the one they needed had seemed impossible. They had done it though. They were safe.

"It is good. I think that that was the scariest mission that we have been on though. Fighting Myotismon was scary, but fighting against a disease that we couldn't see was worse. What do you think Taichi? You have the crest of Courage after all," she waited for a reply, but it didn't come. In fact, Taichi wasn't next to her anymore. He had been there a second ago. She turned to find that he had stopped next to a lamp post and he was leaning on it heavily, "Are you okay Taichi?" He opened his eyes and pushed himself off the post.

"I'm fine," he told them. Then he collapsed. Hikari raced over to her brother and tried to wake him up. Sora rushed to his side too, but she didn't know what to do.

"Call an ambulance Sora," Hikari told her quickly before turning back to her brother again. She did as she had been told and then took hold of Taichi's hand. It was shaking.

"Come on Taichi, you've got to wake up. What's wrong with you? Are you sick or over-tired or…" she trailed off. She remembered Daisuke asking Taichi if he was alright when they had been at Koushiro's place and had heard about the e-mail from Gennai. The next day he had been worse, but no one had commented. Why? Because they had been worrying about those who had said they had been in the Dark Ocean. She recalled how his hand had been shaking when he had handed her the flower, his strange grin. That very afternoon she had watched him struggle to keep on searching for the last flower. She had just assumed that he was tired of searching. She had assumed that he had just been over-tired like he had said. How much had she assumed that wasn't true? What if… the thought cut off as her hand was gently pulled from Taichi's.

"You need to stand back," a woman in a paramedic's uniform told her gently. Sora wasn't really listening. She went straight over to Hikari and grabbed the girl by the shoulders.

"Hikari, has Taichi ever been to the Dark Ocean?" the colour drained completely from the younger girl's face. Sora pitied her, but she was on a mission now.

"I don't know," Hikari whispered, "He hasn't been there that I know of. Do you think… when Koushiro read out the e-mail he said there were only eight flowers. Do you think that Taichi… do you think he waited to see how many people had been before he decided whether or not to put up his hand? He's been out a lot. He stays late after soccer practice. He helps coach a soccer team for little kids. He could have been going there instead." Now that Sora had planted the idea in Hikari's head, the younger girl was panicking. She had no doubt that her brother was suffering from the sickness of the Dark Ocean now. The officers had placed Taichi onto a stretcher and were loading him into the ambulance.

"Look Hikari, you go to the hospital with Taichi and listen to what the doctor says. I'm going to call the others and tell your parents about Taichi. I'll also look in his diary to see if he has been there, okay? Just go with Taichi. He'll need you if he wakes up," she didn't wait for an answer. She sprinted to Taichi's apartment, dialing Yamato's number as she did so.

"Hey Sora, what's up?" Yamato sounded confused that she had called.

"Can you call the others? Taichi collapsed on the way home and he had to be taken to hospital. Hikari and I think that he might have been in the Dark Ocean and not told us about it because there were only eight flowers. I'm going to his apartment to let his parents know and to check for evidence. Can you tell everyone to meet me at his apartment as soon as possible?" She was now racing up the stairs. The apartment was on the fourth floor, and the elevator always took too long.

"I'll call them now," he hung up straight away and Sora tucked her phone in her pocket. She banged on the door to the apartment. She knew that she was knocking too loudly, but she needed to get in. Mrs. Kamiya opened the door, and once Sora had explained that Taichi was in hospital, the Kamiyas rushed out. Sora found herself in Taichi's room. She went over near the window and pulled at one of the floorboards. It came up easily in her hands. Underneath were a few pictures, an exercise book and what looked like a couple of letters. She ignored the pictures and letters and picked up the book. She took a deep breath, mentally apologised to her best friend, and opened it to a page near the end.

We had a meeting today. Apparently everyone who has been to the Dark Ocean will die unless they eat a special kind of flower. There are only eight of these flowers around, according to Gennai. I asked how many people had been, and eight people put up their hands. I feel a little guilty, because I didn't put up my hand. I meant to, but when I saw those eight hands go up I just couldn't. I would definitely been one of the eight who got a flower- I'd been there the longest after all- and that meant that Daisuke wouldn't have gotten one. He'd only been there for five minutes, and not willingly. It's my own fault that I am sick. I wanted to see it, and then once I had, I wanted to see it again. And again. It was so peaceful there, being alone. I was sick of feeling alone whilst the whole world was right there. The Dark Ocean was so quiet, and no one was around. There were no people pretending to be my friends there, no one telling me that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, no one telling me that I was worthless. I could be myself there, without having to keep up my mask.

She stopped reading as there was a knock on the door. She had found the answer anyway. She replaced the floorboard absently and opened the door. Takeru and Daisuke were standing on the door step, for once not arguing about who had gotten there first. Both of them were out of breath. They had obviously run from their respective apartments.

"Is it the Dark Ocean?" Takeru managed to get out in between his deep breaths. She nodded. How had she not known about Taichi? He was her best friend. She had spent hours and hours and hours with him over the years, and they had still been hanging out regularly these past few weeks. Why had he felt alone? She had always told him to call her whenever he felt like that. He hadn't called. Why hadn't she noticed? She jumped as Daisuke's hand appeared on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Sora, it'll be alright. It's not your fault," he told her quietly. Takeru came back into the living room, with Miyako, Iori and Yamato in tow.

"Have you heard anything from Hikari?" Yamato asked her. Takeru had already informed him that it was the Dark Ocean. He didn't know what to think. Had he been too caught up with his band and his own problems that he hadn't even noticed that Taichi wasn't himself? Sure, he had noticed that Taichi hadn't looked to well for the past few days, but Taichi had said that he was just tired. Why had he believed him? Why hadn't he questioned him? Koushiro, Mimi and Jyou arrived. Even Mimi seemed to have run to get there. Ken was the only one not there now. It was understandable. He lived the furthest away. He wasn't too far behind Jyou however. They were about to leave for the Digital World when Sora's phone rang. She didn't seem to notice. Mimi leant over and pressed a button to let the call come through, and then pressed the speaker phone.

"Hikari?" she asked timidly, seeing that the girl's name was on the screen.

"He…" there was a muffled sob, "He died." There was a shocked silence as they each tried to take in that information. Taichi had died because they hadn't seen the signs. They hadn't seen, they hadn't known, and now courage had disappeared.

The End

Litanya: I honestly don't know what to say now. I don't know what came over me to write this, but I guess that it makes me so sad that we don't even know our closest friends as well as we think we do. The Dark Ocean to me has always been a metaphor for depression. So, I guess that my message here is: look for signs. It doesn't matter how happy your friends seem to be, they could just be trying to hide things. But yeah… please review this if you want, don't bother if you don't want to.