I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
-T.S. Eliot
And a Souffle, Please
A Whouffle AU
by the antisocial insomniac
Chapter 1
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"One vanilla latte and a souffle, please."
"Sure thing," the man behind the counter replied without looking up. His hands moved quickly, grabbing a fresh to-go cup and pouring some vanilla syrup inside. "Want anything in the latte? Milk? Sugar?"
"It's a latte," she replied in exasperation, glancing at the ceiling in frustration. There weren't any tiles, and it was simply white. Very clean-looking, though. "I would hope that there would be milk in it."
"There's no need to be rude," the barista replied, finally looking at the customer. His eyes widened. "Hey… you're the girl from the library, aren't you?"
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," the mysterious woman shot back. "Now if you'll please hurry, I have a class to get to very soon and I need my coffee."
"Sure thing," the barista mumbled,putting the cup down for just a second to take out a souffle and place it on the counter. He quickly spun and poured this and that into the cup, his motions flourished with unnecessary (and unwanted) gestures. After a moment, he stopped and spun back to the counter. His green eyes weren't bright or happy and he plastered on a clearly fake smile as he asked, "Milk? Sugar?"
"Again? Seriously? Just give me my coffee. I'm kind of in a rush here," the woman exclaimed, placing some money on the counter, leaning over and grabbing said drink and the corresponding lid right from the barista's hands, and snatching her souffle. "Oh, and you can keep the change." And with that, the strange woman swung her purse over her shoulder and walked away, stopping only to shake a little nutmeg on her drink before marching out the door.
The barista stood in shock and watched as the woman walked out the doorway, closing the lid as the doors swung shut behind her.
"Y'know, she's not always like that, Doctor," a calm voice broke in from behind. "She's here pretty often. Wednesdays, usually. I guess today was the exception."
"Do you know her?" the Doctor asked, a look of disbelief on his face. "I didn't really peg her as your type, Vastra."
"Like I said. She's not always like that," the woman repeated, gliding gracefully over to the counter and picking up the money the woman had left behind before helping the next customer. "Hello, may I take your order?"
The order was routine: a coffee, with a splash of milk, and a muffin from their small display of baked goods. The Doctor may have prided himself in his baking, but not all of it was good enough to sell. Vastra handed the older man his coffee, and the man handed over some money, exactly the right amount to pay the bill. Vastra smiled, and said a gentle thank you to the now-leaving customer as she put the money in the small cash register. Then, she slid something new off the counter and unfolded it as she turned to the Doctor, revealing two bills.
"She overpaid us, Doctor. She should have just given us 6 pounds if she wanted us to keep the change. But she gave us 51. She must have grabbed a 50 instead of a 5."
"Let me see that, Vastra," the Doctor replied, holding out his hand. He glanced down at the money in disbelief before looking halfheartedly out the door. "We have to give this back."
"You don't even know her name, Doctor. She'll come back for it," Vastra promised. "Let's just put it aside in a safe place until Wednesday comes."
"I made a promise to the customers here when I opened the shop, Vastra," the Doctor mumbled quietly, contemplating what to do. "I promised that I wouldn't cheat or steal. This feels like cheating and stealing." he looked up at her, only to see worry in her eyes. "Vastra, can you take care of the shop for me until I get back?"
"Of course, Doctor," Vastra replied. "Don't worry about a thing."
The Doctor rushed through a blue-painted door, grabbed his purple jacket from the all-too-familiar hook (the coat was nice and warm and very non-monk like), and dashed towards the door. He had only made it past two other shops before he ran into a short someone.
"I'm so sorry!" he apologized quickly, meaning to get away fast. But as the short woman looked up, his eyes widened in recognition. "Hey, you're the girl from the coffee shop! I was coming after you actually. You gave us fifty-one instead of six."
"Really?" the woman asked, taking the bills from his hands and glancing at them. "Oh, I'm sorry." She looked up at him again, and continued, "But I was looking for you, too. You messed up my order."
The Doctor was shocked. He hadn't messed up an order since he first opened the little coffee shop years ago. "I'm so sorry," he replied, "To make it up for you, you can have that for free. And if you want to come back to the shop, we'll gladly mak-"
"No, that's what I was coming back to tell you about," she cut in. "It's delicious. I'm pretty sure you put some hazelnut in there when you put in the vanilla. And with the nutmeg- I always mix it in before drinking it- it tastes absolutely amazing! Here, try it," she demanded, prying the lid off the cup and shoving it into the Doctor's hands. Hesitantly, he raised the cup to his lips and took a little sip. Instantly, his eyes lit up.
"It tastes like… It's like…"
"It tastes like a souffle," she finished. "I know. Isn't it great? I usually stop by the bakery next door to your shop to get my weekly souffle, but now, if I'm in a rush, I don't have to! You should totally put this on the menu!"
The Doctor chuckled at this strange woman's antics. "Well, I'm glad you like it. Want to come back to the shop and write it down? I'll definitely think about adding it."
Coffee shop girl looked at her watch and then back up at the Doctor, her eyes wide with sympathy. "I really can't. I'm going to be late as it is. I've got a class, and I can't keep the kids waiting too long."
"And I have a car," the Doctor replied. "I'll drive you to wherever you have to go."
"I don't even know your name," she said suspiciously.
"I don't know yours, either," he shot back. "But I'm the Doctor. What's your name?"
"Doctor who?"
"Exactly."
She chuckled lightly, and the Doctor's lips slowly formed a grin. "I'm Clara," she told him. "Clara Oswald. I guess it's not quite as interesting as 'the Doctor,' but it works." She smiled brightly and turned around quickly. "Now, let's get back to that coffee shop of yours before I'm really late."
And so, laughing, they walked back to the shop. Vastra smiled and waved when she saw the duo enter, and the Doctor waved back.
"Now Clara, just go right through those doors, and I'll be there in a second. There should be paper and a pen next to the phone, so you can write what I did down there." Clara nodded and walked through said doors, and the Doctor turned to Vastra, who was now preparing another order. "I may have to leave again."
"You told her that you would drive her to work, didn't you," Vastra questioned with a smile.
"Quite possibly."
"Be careful, Doctor. Don't kill her in that mess of a car you drive before you two even go on the first date."
"Oi! I'm not going on a date with her," the Doctor whispered angrily, getting annoyed. "Honestly."
"The paper next to the phone, Doctor?" a feminine voice cut in, and the Doctor spun to see Clara's head poking out from between the doors.
"Yes, Clara, hold on. I'm coming," he said, shooting a pointed look at Vastra before making his way to the small kitchen.
"I wrote it down, but I have to get to work. Can we go?"
"Yeah, sure," the Doctor replied. "Just let me get my keys." he gestured for Clara to walk out the door, and then turned to the notepad next to the phone. Sure enough, there was a string of digits printed there that he was sure nobody in his shop had written.
"She's impossible," he muttered with a smile, tossing his keys in the air before walking out the door.
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A/N: Hi, I'm Aria! Thanks for reading the first chapter of my story! I've written a few fanfics before (not on this site), but I've never been very good, so constructive critisism would be much appreciated~! I just really wanted to write a coffee shop AU, y'know? sO, if you liked it, please follow the story; if you didn't, don't worry! Thanks for reading! See you guys next chapter~