Castle does not belong to me. It belongs to Marlowe ,ABC, Etal
This story is my nightmare brought on by the season finale. A finale that I hate.
"It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch"
"Castle…" Beckett says in desperation
"Please let me finish" Castle takes a deep breath
"I've been thinking about us. Our relationship. What we have Where we're headed"
He pauses while shaking his head. She watches his facial expression darken. She can tell by the way he is looking out into the distance that he is thinking about how he is going to tell her that he is finished with her. He has had all he can take of her leaving him in the cold when it comes to their relationship. She feels a rush in her head as the blood is leaving her upper body
"I've decided I want more. We both deserve more"
Her mind is telling her that he is getting ready to leave her and she needs to stand strong. She is getting weaker with each word he speaks
"I agree" This way she seems ready to move on
"So whatever happens, whatever you decide…"
HERE IT COMES. The big good bye. Her heart is breaking as she watches him getting up to leave. She feels dizzy
He drops to one knee and she hears him speak the words that she never thought she would be spoken to her ever in her life from any man
"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"
There he is on his knees holding a beautiful diamond ring up to her
She tries hard to catch her breath, but the air will not enter her lungs. She wants to answer him, but nothing is leaving her mouth. Her heart is screaming. "Answer him! Answer him!" but no words can he spoken.
Then his face changes. She sees his expression as it changes from hope then falls to defeat. She can see the resolve come into his eyes that he has lost her.
"Kate, I hope that someday you find whatever it is that you are searching for and that it makes you happy"
He stands up and without another word turns and walks away.
She finds that she still cannot move. Her legs will not obey her brain and let her stand. After what seems like an eternity, she finally presses her legs to rise but all she can do is collapse to the ground
She watches helplessly as Castle steps into a taxi and leaves the park
Richard Castle has hailed a cab and given the driver the address for The Old Haunt. This is a place where he can go and be secluded and protected from any intrusion from anyone. Once he arrives there, he tells Paul, the bartender that his is not there and no one is to be allowed into the private office. Castle then reinforces the words "NO ONE" is to be allowed in. That is his conformation that everyone including the boys or Beckett will be told Castle is not there.
Once in his office Richard sits down at his desk and looks out to the wall opposite where he has put a book case containing mementoes of better days. He has keepsake items he bought when he was with Kate at the Hamptons and also a trip to the Jersey Shore. Then later, just them at Coney Island and finally one wild weekend where the two of them snuck off to Vegas for just a little romantic fun. He remembers they didn't even leave the room for three whole days.
The shelves also contain all his favorite photos of him and her that they had taken. Well at least all the photos that can be shown in public. He does have a few pictures that they took at either her place or his that cannot be displayed anywhere except in the privacy of their room.
"What Happened to us?" He screams at the top of his lungs as his head leans back in his chair. He is glad that his office is sound proof or he knows that the entire bar staff would be running down the stairs to see what has happened.
Richard Castle slowly stands and walks over to the book case and begins removing these small items and placing them into a box. He fills several boxes and then closes the flaps and seals them with tape. Doing this feels like he is closing that part of his life and sealing it forever. After emptying the shelves he takes the boxes and carried them to the secret prohibition corridor behind the bookcase and places them at the very end. Farthest away from his door symbolic the farthest place away from his heart
He steps back to his desk and sits down. He takes the diamond ring out of his pocket and looks at it. A symbol of his love for her. His feelings for her. His desire to be her one and done. But obviously she has other more important items on her agenda now than staying and being with him.
He thought things had gotten so much better between them. She seemed to have changed over the last two years. In fact she changed a lot over the last five years. When they met she was straight laced and by the book. No fun. Only business. She wanted him to stop acting like the child he was inside. He wanted to see her fun side come out. She wanted him to grow up. He wanted her to believe in magic and Santa. Neither of the two of them was willing to change their ways for the other one
But they both changed. He grew up some. She opened up some. He wanted her. She wanted him. Neither admitted that part even to themselves.
'But now they began a dance to the music'
Four years ago she threw him out for getting involved in her mother's case. Then took him back after he helped her solve a murder.
'And the dance continued'
Somewhere in this mixed up relationship they shared, he realized that he fell in love with Kate. He was changing to make her happy. He wanted her to love him back. He made a bucket list and the very first item he placed on that list was "Be with Kate". It was the most important event he ever planned for. He even went out and bought the ring that he is now holding so that when the time was right, he was ready. He carried the ring in his pocket on many occasions, just in case the opportunity presented itself but before today, the time was just not right.
'And the dance continued'
Then two years ago she threw him out when he tried to get her to stop digging into her mother's case. He had the ring in his pocket that day. But she he tried to save her from the assassin's bullet at Montgomery's funeral and he continued to search for the shooter. So she took him back
'And the dance continued'
Then a year ago she threw him out again for lying to protect her. He again had the ring in his pocket. This time she went to him to take her back. Not only did he take her back, but she joined him in a relationship he was hoping for them to be in for the rest of their lives.
'And the dance continued
He marveled in how she became a different person. She became someone with him that had never seen before. She found fun in life. She opened up on a very personal level. She joined him in some very romantic activities. Some very, very fun personal things. Activities he honestly did not know they would share together.
'And the dance continued'
He opens the wall safe and places the small piece of paper containing his bucket list on the bottom and lays the diamond ring on top.
Four years ago during one of his more childish moments he asked her "How do you know when you're in love" and her answer "All songs make sense" is so true.
He thinks about a song from 1965 called "This Diamond Ring" *
This song makes sense to Castle now
Who wants to buy this diamond ring?
This diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore
And this diamond ring doesn't mean what it did before
So if you've got someone whose love is true
Let it shine for you
This stone is genuine like love should be
And if your baby's truer than my baby was to me
This diamond ring can be something beautiful
And this diamond ring can be dreams that are coming true
And then your heart won't have to break like mine did
If there's love behind it
'Today the music stopped.'
*Words and music by Al Kooper
Performed by Gary Lewis and The Playboys