One day, Madoka Kaname received a mysterious letter. It said that if she ever wanted to see her beloved homura again, she would have to give up hope forever and then her location would be revealed to her. Madoka at first didn't trust the letter, as how would they know when she had given up hope or give her homura's location? But when she went to school the next day, homura wasn't there. She was a bit shaken, but shrugged it off, thinking and hoping she was sick. But after a week of this and no contact, madoka didn't know what to do. She could never give up hope, it's who she was! So then she fell into depression. She moved away from her family into an apartment, and filled it up with dozens of cats to help comfort her. She also turned to the marijuanas to help ease her pain for a bit. Then she heard about a huge party next door. She decided to go to help her feel better and because maybe she could have some fun and forget about her magical lesbian lover. But when she opened the door, she was quite surprised. Colorful lights filled the apartment, spinning around, with two figures at the center. One was Yuno Gasai, who was there with her date, Megan. Megan was not a human though, she was a 5 1/2 foot tall penis with a sombrero. When Madoka walked in, she noticed that there were half a dozen penises with hats in the apartment, each with a different hat. One had a fedora, one had a cowboy hat, one had a beret, one had a fez, one had a party hat, and then there was Megan with her sombrero. Seeing all of these penises made Madoka feel happy. Finally, a place where she could go to and just talk and look at a bunch of penises with hats! Her life's dream! But, it didn't feel complete without Homura.
"Why do you look so sad?" asked Megan, as she was a talking penis.
"U-uh nothing." said Madoka, starting to feel nervous.
"It's alright, you can tell me, I mean trust me, when have you not been able to trust a talking penis?" said Megan.
"Hmm, I guess you're right. Hey, before I tell you, how come you can talk if you're a penis?" asked Madoka.
"Well, you see, when the 6 of us were born, our brain wasn't in the right head, if you know what I mean. It ended up in this one, so our penises grew to how tall our body was supposed to be. But when we were on our bodies, we couldn't go anywhere, so we just walked away. So now tell me why you're sad." explained Megan.
"Well, you see, hope is dope. I am hope. Hope is me. And I got this letter in the mail saying if I ever wanted to see my lesbian lover again and make the yuris with her I would have to give up hope. But that is something I feel I can not do." said Madoka sadly.
"Well, me and Yuno could help find her!" suggested Megan.
"Oh really? That's so thoughtful! Thank you talking penis!" said Madoka.
End of chapter one