Tobias' POV
I never wanted it to happen, I never meant to do it but I did. I'm just like him, I lashed out in a fit of rage. I can't even look at myself right now. A monster, a monster. I've turned into a monster.
It happened tonight during a fight with Tris. We were arguing about how much she's working and how I want to protect her and keep her safe. She's six months pregnant and I don't want her to overwork and stress herself.
"I'm not incapable, Tobias! Why can't you just let me do what I want? You're not my father, you can't tell me what to do!" she shouted during our fight. This is when I snapped. I know she's always been strong and independent but she doesn't understand that she needs to give herself a break sometimes too.
Rage coursed through my veins as I yelled back "I know that! Don't you think I know that?! Sometimes I just want to keep you safe even if you won't." I shoved her, pinning her against the wall as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.
"I don't need you to do that. You're scaring me right now." she whispered as I walked away, slamming the door as I made my way to the Pit. I decided to head to the training room, throwing knives to try to release some of the anger building inside me.
I don't know why I did what I did. I swore I would never be like my father but I feel like he is what I am becoming lately. One of my fears recently changed from Marcus to me hitting my pregnant wife with a belt. I can't stop what happens in the fear landscape and I am afraid of it coming true.
A monster, a monster. And it keeps getting stronger. I find Zeke in the Pit and decide to stay at his house for the night. I want to give us time to cool off and I am honestly afraid of doing something like that again.
"Hey man, what's up?" he asks me. I groan as I answer "Tris and I got into a fight. It was bad. I pinned her against the wall. I don't want to do anything like that ever again." We down a few beers and I return to the training room again in the morning.
I'm determined to never do anything like that again. I punch one of the bags until my knuckles are split and bloody. I'm only a man with a candle to guide me, I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.
I don't want to be the monster my father was. I'm not him. I don't want to be him. I have to make this right. A monster, a monster. I've turned into a monster.
Who am I?
A monster, a monster. And it keeps getting stronger.