Title: These Arms of Mine
By: Witchy Woman
Email: witchywmn@aol.com
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Luka Kovac, if I did, I wouldn't be spending my time writing!! Seriously, I do not own, nor am I profiting from the use of, any of the characters in the television serious ER. I DO however own Regina and will get my cheap thrills through her!
Rating: I'm gonna give it a PG-13. There is sex, but we don't get to see it. Maybe next story?
Classification: Romance/Kovac/other(original character)
Time Line: Takes place right after MAYDAY.
Summary: Seeing poor Luka Kovac sitting on the El platform, I wanted to jump into my television to comfort him. Realizing that this was not possible(at least in this universe!) I developed a character who would do just that. This is their story.
Author's Notes: I'm not new to fan fic. I've posted quite a few X-Files stories. But this is my first ER work. I've been intrigued by the Luka character since he first appeared. Heck, he made me nearly stop noticing Anthony Edwards and THAT is saying something! I figured I'd give this a try. I don't know why it came out first person, but it did. I tried it other ways and didn't like it. I would LOVE some feedback on this! If anybody actually likes it, I would like to continue with this character and develop the relationship. I will leave that up to you all! Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Now...on with the show...
***************
Did you ever have one of those moments where things were just as you wanted them, but you knew, just knew, that in a second it would all be gone?
As I lay there, in the dark, I prayed that morning wouldn't come. But it would. And when it did, Luka would awaken and probably be very embarrassed. He would apologize to me in that adorable accent of his, then humbly make his way out of my home. My "instinct" is seldom wrong, why should this time be any different.
How did this happen? How did he end up in my bed? It wasn't planned, far from it.
I'd finished my shift and walked up onto the El platform. It was cold and I was tired. Half of me was hoping the platform would be blissfully empty so that I could sit and wait in peace and quiet. Something I hadn't had one moment of in the ER tonight.
It was a constant, steady stream of people. Top that off with the fact that Dr. Weaver had organized an intervention for Dr. Carter and it was just a crazy emotional night.
I'd been on staff at County General for nearly four years and had come to know the staff fairly well. Being a Nurse Practitioner and Shift Supervisor, I'd even been on a first name basis with some of the doctors. Not as many as Carol Hathaway had been, but Carol is another story all together. One I won't get too deeply into right now. She'll pop up in this tale soon enough.
As I walked up onto the platform, I noticed a solitary figure sitting on the bench. It was Dr. Luka Kovac. He'd left hours ago and I'd figured he'd be home by now, but instead he sat, hanging his head. He wasn't moving and from the distance, I couldn't even see if he was breathing. Maybe I was paranoid after the whole Lucy Knight incident, but I got scared and as I walked quickly to him, I called out his name.
To my great relief, he looked up at me. The look on his face just about broke my heart. He looked so...defeated. I'd heard some of the story about the woman he'd cared for tonight. About how he was ready to risk everything to deliver her baby before she let it die. Chuny gave me the Readers Digest Condensed Version as I was writing my final chart notes.
Poor Luka. He'd had it tough and tonight had to really have done a number on him. One night, actually, it was the night of Lucy Knight's memorial, a group of us went out for drinks. I somehow ended up sitting next to Luka. We'd both had a few too many and he told me about his family in Croatia. We talked until everyone had gone and the bar had closed. It was purely platonic, but I'd wished it wasn't.
At the time, he was courting Carol. Or at least he thought he was. He really cared for her and it was obvious that he wanted more from their relationship than just friendship. When she left for Seattle, and Doug Ross, Luka smiled and wished her well. I could see that it hurt him. But what could I do or say? It really was none of my business. We were friendly, but on a professional level. That was all.
Until tonight. When he looked up at me, I finally admitted to myself just how attracted I'd always been to him. It was hard not to be. The man is beautiful. In looks, in personality, he's just got it all. But, what would someone like that want with me?
Yet, tonight, he told me I was beautiful. He held me and touched me and made love to me. We fell asleep holding each other and now, as I lay there, his arms were still around me.
But I get ahead of myself. Back on the El platform, I sat next to him on the bench and asked if he'd missed the train. He shook his head and told me that a few trains had been past. He'd just let them go. He needed to sort out his thoughts.
I told him he must be freezing and he reminded me that growing up in Croatia, he was used to this. Then, he smiled, and admitted that he WAS starting to get cold.
As the El approached, I took a chance and asked him to come home with me. I'd made a huge batch of beef soup and was planning on having some when I got home, there would be plenty if he'd like to join me. It took him all of three seconds to agree to come with me.
********
I think he was surprised to see my townhouse. Most people are. It's big and in a nice part of town. Believe me, I couldn't afford it on my own. It's part of the settlement I got from my ex husband. As the saying goes, I got the house and the car. He, of course, got his 23 year old blond secretary and their twin sons. I'd by lying if I told you he got the better end of the deal. Last I heard, his new little wifey had ballooned up to 200 pounds and the boys, now 3 years old, were total terrorists. Hey, Bad Karma comes back to bite you. Jake's just living proof of that.
Me, on the other hand, I liked having my house to myself. Okay, that was a lie. I hated it. I have never liked being alone...well, lonely. And yes, I guess I was. I spent a lot of time at work, or at the gym. Anything to avoid being alone in that house. The silence was deafening, especially after leaving work.
While I warmed the soup, Luka lit a fire in the fireplace. We ate from TV trays in the living room. I'd somehow managed to get him to open up to me about the days events and by the end of our meal, I'd heard the whole story. When he finished speaking, he looked at me for a moment. He asked me why I was looking at him "that way". I had no idea that I was looking at him in any particular way and laughingly told him that. He shook his head and said that he'd probably said too much already, but, he continued, it was partially my fault.
I raised a brow, but said nothing, and he explained that I was very easy to talk to. I very nearly said that he was very easy to listen to, but thankfully I bit that response back, and told him that if he ever needed somebody to talk to, I was around. I'd hoped he'd take it for the honest offer it was, not some cheap pick up line.
He took it the right way and the offer seemed to touch him deeply. He said that he'd met many people since he'd been there and made very many acquaintances, but did not have many people he'd consider friends. He said that he would be grateful if he could count me among his friends.
I smiled and told him he could count me in. I don't know if it was his accent or that earnest look on his face when he said it, but something clicked in me and next thing I knew, I was hugging him. I didn't mean anything sexual by it, I just sensed he needed a hug. And he did, because he asked me if he could hug me as well. What a gentleman, asking me if he could return the hug. With my positive response, he put his arms around me and held me close.
It felt way too good to be held. Without breaking the hug, he quietly thanked me for taking him in tonight. Then he pulled back and looked at me. I knew he was going to kiss me and I was ready for it. When he broke it off, he apologized, but did not release me. He started saying that he was out of line for doing it, but I put my index finger over his lips and told him that I was not offended and if he wanted to do it again, that would be fine with me.
He smiled and kissed me again. I returned the kiss and before either of us realized it, we were actually necking on my sofa. God, he's a good kisser.
He tried to be a gentleman the whole time, keeping his hands either on my arms, or my cheek, but as the kisses intensified, his hand strayed to my breast. I know it's going to sound so cliché but I really did feel a jolt through my entire body when he started to caress me. Things moved fast from that point and I had to pull back for a moment. I was not about to do this in the living room. No, not tonight. We deserved better than that stupid leather sofa.
I mustered up all of my nerve and stood, holding out my hand. I told him that we'd be more comfortable upstairs. He looked at me for a moment and asked if I was sure this was what I wanted. I assured him it was and he stood and allowed me to lead him upstairs.
I nearly had to pinch myself once or twice to be sure I wasn't dreaming the whole thing. I wouldn't have believed myself if I was listening to this story. It sounds like something out of a cheap romance novel or something, but there was something about the way he looked at me through out the whole thing. There was this...respect, almost a reverence, in his eyes. It was almost scary. No man has ever looked at me like that.
He told me that I was a beautiful woman, and I dismissed it. He shook his head and insisted that I was beautiful not only in looks, but in my heart as well. This guy was too damn good. But, it was the way he said my name that did me in. My full name is Regina Marie DelVecchio Cameron. Everyone at work, hell, nearly every one I know, calls me Gina. Luka, from the night we sat and talked after Lucy's memorial, has called me Regina. When I told him my full name, he said that Regina was a beautiful name and it fit me. From that night on, that's what he called me. At first, it was said with a twinkle in his eye, but it just became habit as time went on. I'd always hated it when I was called Regina, because it usually meant I was in trouble. But, I really didn't mind it when Luka did it. I liked the way it sounded with his accent.
Tonight, it sounded even better, as it was said in between kisses, as it was said as his lips brushed my ear. And when it was all over, he kissed me and held me in his arms, calling me his "Beautiful friend, Regina" and thanking me. This time, I didn't ask him what he was thanking me for. I knew. Just as I knew that this would all change in the morning.
Trying not to wake him, I pressed myself against him and closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that my instincts were totally wrong this time
*******
Morning came all too soon. We were both due in at 8, so when my alarm went off at 6:30, he had to dash home to get a change of clothes. So much for that awkward morning after part. We didn't have time He did however give me a kiss on the forehead before he left. Okay, so you can imagine how MY mind worked on that one as I took the El in to work.
Lucky for me, however, I had a ton of paperwork to weed through and there was a tour bus accident at around 11, so by the time my mind got a breather to actually think about what went on, it was nearly three in the afternoon. Not only hadn't I had time to think about last night, I also hadn't eaten since the bagel I had at 9. I made my out to Doc Magoo's to grab something on my break. It wasn't crowded, so I sat at the counter and sipped a Coke while I waited for my sandwich. That wasn't a good thing. It was time alone, time to think.
I'd barely gotten to say two words to him all day. We'd exchanged eye contact a few times and smiles, but nothing more. I was trying to be rational and explain to that small part of my dating brain that never grew out of being a chubby teenager, that the reason we hadn't talked was that we were so busy. We were working and this was not the place for this. But, the chubby teenager argued, he didn't even say he would call me when he left this morning.
"Is this seat taken?" Luka's voice began, stopping my internal argument.
I looked to my right, where he'd taken a seat, and found him sitting there, holding a white rose. He held it out to me and I took it, on impulse, I brought it to my nose and breathed in the beautiful scent.
"White roses," he began, quietly, "Mean respect..."
I guess I looked surprised that he actually knew this fact, and he laughed and admitted that the woman at the flower stand on the corner told him that. Then, from behind his back, he produced a pink rose.
I asked him what this one meant and he told me the flower cart woman said it meant "something about friendship and getting to know you better". I took the pink rose and smelled it as well, then thanked him.
The waitress approached and he ordered a sandwich and coffee. Once she'd walked off, he turned to me and continued to speak in the same quiet tone. He said he was sorry that it had taken him so long to get to talk to me. He wished he didn't have to run off like he did in the morning. He hoped that I wasn't upset with him about last night.
My stomach dropped, but I played it off. I asked him why would I should be upset. We were both adults, it was a mutual thing. I guess I started rambling and he stopped me by saying my name. I looked at him.
He then explained that he hadn't come home with me thinking that we would end up in bed. Just as he knew that wasn't why I invited him home. He said that he meant what he said when he considered me a friend and that he would like to get to know me better.
This was the part where he was going to say that he didn't think of me in a romantic/sexual way. That last night was just emotions working their way out and it was a mistake. But he didn't say that. He said, that when and if I felt comfortable enough with him to pursue that kind of relationship, he would like it very much if we could try it.
I smiled at him. There was something about that accent. He could have just said, "I only want to meet you in the broom closet for cheap monkey sex on Tuesdays." But with that voice, and those eyes, I'd have said yes. So, I told him that I would like very much to get to know him better and yes, I would also like to pursue that kind of relationship.
He nodded solemnly and said, "Good then, we'll give it a try."
I laughed at the seriousness of his reply, then noticed the smile playing on the corner of his lips and the twinkle in his eye. "Giving it a try" was going to be a lot of fun and I had to admit that for once, I was glad my "instinct" was wrong.
By: Witchy Woman
Email: witchywmn@aol.com
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Luka Kovac, if I did, I wouldn't be spending my time writing!! Seriously, I do not own, nor am I profiting from the use of, any of the characters in the television serious ER. I DO however own Regina and will get my cheap thrills through her!
Rating: I'm gonna give it a PG-13. There is sex, but we don't get to see it. Maybe next story?
Classification: Romance/Kovac/other(original character)
Time Line: Takes place right after MAYDAY.
Summary: Seeing poor Luka Kovac sitting on the El platform, I wanted to jump into my television to comfort him. Realizing that this was not possible(at least in this universe!) I developed a character who would do just that. This is their story.
Author's Notes: I'm not new to fan fic. I've posted quite a few X-Files stories. But this is my first ER work. I've been intrigued by the Luka character since he first appeared. Heck, he made me nearly stop noticing Anthony Edwards and THAT is saying something! I figured I'd give this a try. I don't know why it came out first person, but it did. I tried it other ways and didn't like it. I would LOVE some feedback on this! If anybody actually likes it, I would like to continue with this character and develop the relationship. I will leave that up to you all! Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Now...on with the show...
***************
Did you ever have one of those moments where things were just as you wanted them, but you knew, just knew, that in a second it would all be gone?
As I lay there, in the dark, I prayed that morning wouldn't come. But it would. And when it did, Luka would awaken and probably be very embarrassed. He would apologize to me in that adorable accent of his, then humbly make his way out of my home. My "instinct" is seldom wrong, why should this time be any different.
How did this happen? How did he end up in my bed? It wasn't planned, far from it.
I'd finished my shift and walked up onto the El platform. It was cold and I was tired. Half of me was hoping the platform would be blissfully empty so that I could sit and wait in peace and quiet. Something I hadn't had one moment of in the ER tonight.
It was a constant, steady stream of people. Top that off with the fact that Dr. Weaver had organized an intervention for Dr. Carter and it was just a crazy emotional night.
I'd been on staff at County General for nearly four years and had come to know the staff fairly well. Being a Nurse Practitioner and Shift Supervisor, I'd even been on a first name basis with some of the doctors. Not as many as Carol Hathaway had been, but Carol is another story all together. One I won't get too deeply into right now. She'll pop up in this tale soon enough.
As I walked up onto the platform, I noticed a solitary figure sitting on the bench. It was Dr. Luka Kovac. He'd left hours ago and I'd figured he'd be home by now, but instead he sat, hanging his head. He wasn't moving and from the distance, I couldn't even see if he was breathing. Maybe I was paranoid after the whole Lucy Knight incident, but I got scared and as I walked quickly to him, I called out his name.
To my great relief, he looked up at me. The look on his face just about broke my heart. He looked so...defeated. I'd heard some of the story about the woman he'd cared for tonight. About how he was ready to risk everything to deliver her baby before she let it die. Chuny gave me the Readers Digest Condensed Version as I was writing my final chart notes.
Poor Luka. He'd had it tough and tonight had to really have done a number on him. One night, actually, it was the night of Lucy Knight's memorial, a group of us went out for drinks. I somehow ended up sitting next to Luka. We'd both had a few too many and he told me about his family in Croatia. We talked until everyone had gone and the bar had closed. It was purely platonic, but I'd wished it wasn't.
At the time, he was courting Carol. Or at least he thought he was. He really cared for her and it was obvious that he wanted more from their relationship than just friendship. When she left for Seattle, and Doug Ross, Luka smiled and wished her well. I could see that it hurt him. But what could I do or say? It really was none of my business. We were friendly, but on a professional level. That was all.
Until tonight. When he looked up at me, I finally admitted to myself just how attracted I'd always been to him. It was hard not to be. The man is beautiful. In looks, in personality, he's just got it all. But, what would someone like that want with me?
Yet, tonight, he told me I was beautiful. He held me and touched me and made love to me. We fell asleep holding each other and now, as I lay there, his arms were still around me.
But I get ahead of myself. Back on the El platform, I sat next to him on the bench and asked if he'd missed the train. He shook his head and told me that a few trains had been past. He'd just let them go. He needed to sort out his thoughts.
I told him he must be freezing and he reminded me that growing up in Croatia, he was used to this. Then, he smiled, and admitted that he WAS starting to get cold.
As the El approached, I took a chance and asked him to come home with me. I'd made a huge batch of beef soup and was planning on having some when I got home, there would be plenty if he'd like to join me. It took him all of three seconds to agree to come with me.
********
I think he was surprised to see my townhouse. Most people are. It's big and in a nice part of town. Believe me, I couldn't afford it on my own. It's part of the settlement I got from my ex husband. As the saying goes, I got the house and the car. He, of course, got his 23 year old blond secretary and their twin sons. I'd by lying if I told you he got the better end of the deal. Last I heard, his new little wifey had ballooned up to 200 pounds and the boys, now 3 years old, were total terrorists. Hey, Bad Karma comes back to bite you. Jake's just living proof of that.
Me, on the other hand, I liked having my house to myself. Okay, that was a lie. I hated it. I have never liked being alone...well, lonely. And yes, I guess I was. I spent a lot of time at work, or at the gym. Anything to avoid being alone in that house. The silence was deafening, especially after leaving work.
While I warmed the soup, Luka lit a fire in the fireplace. We ate from TV trays in the living room. I'd somehow managed to get him to open up to me about the days events and by the end of our meal, I'd heard the whole story. When he finished speaking, he looked at me for a moment. He asked me why I was looking at him "that way". I had no idea that I was looking at him in any particular way and laughingly told him that. He shook his head and said that he'd probably said too much already, but, he continued, it was partially my fault.
I raised a brow, but said nothing, and he explained that I was very easy to talk to. I very nearly said that he was very easy to listen to, but thankfully I bit that response back, and told him that if he ever needed somebody to talk to, I was around. I'd hoped he'd take it for the honest offer it was, not some cheap pick up line.
He took it the right way and the offer seemed to touch him deeply. He said that he'd met many people since he'd been there and made very many acquaintances, but did not have many people he'd consider friends. He said that he would be grateful if he could count me among his friends.
I smiled and told him he could count me in. I don't know if it was his accent or that earnest look on his face when he said it, but something clicked in me and next thing I knew, I was hugging him. I didn't mean anything sexual by it, I just sensed he needed a hug. And he did, because he asked me if he could hug me as well. What a gentleman, asking me if he could return the hug. With my positive response, he put his arms around me and held me close.
It felt way too good to be held. Without breaking the hug, he quietly thanked me for taking him in tonight. Then he pulled back and looked at me. I knew he was going to kiss me and I was ready for it. When he broke it off, he apologized, but did not release me. He started saying that he was out of line for doing it, but I put my index finger over his lips and told him that I was not offended and if he wanted to do it again, that would be fine with me.
He smiled and kissed me again. I returned the kiss and before either of us realized it, we were actually necking on my sofa. God, he's a good kisser.
He tried to be a gentleman the whole time, keeping his hands either on my arms, or my cheek, but as the kisses intensified, his hand strayed to my breast. I know it's going to sound so cliché but I really did feel a jolt through my entire body when he started to caress me. Things moved fast from that point and I had to pull back for a moment. I was not about to do this in the living room. No, not tonight. We deserved better than that stupid leather sofa.
I mustered up all of my nerve and stood, holding out my hand. I told him that we'd be more comfortable upstairs. He looked at me for a moment and asked if I was sure this was what I wanted. I assured him it was and he stood and allowed me to lead him upstairs.
I nearly had to pinch myself once or twice to be sure I wasn't dreaming the whole thing. I wouldn't have believed myself if I was listening to this story. It sounds like something out of a cheap romance novel or something, but there was something about the way he looked at me through out the whole thing. There was this...respect, almost a reverence, in his eyes. It was almost scary. No man has ever looked at me like that.
He told me that I was a beautiful woman, and I dismissed it. He shook his head and insisted that I was beautiful not only in looks, but in my heart as well. This guy was too damn good. But, it was the way he said my name that did me in. My full name is Regina Marie DelVecchio Cameron. Everyone at work, hell, nearly every one I know, calls me Gina. Luka, from the night we sat and talked after Lucy's memorial, has called me Regina. When I told him my full name, he said that Regina was a beautiful name and it fit me. From that night on, that's what he called me. At first, it was said with a twinkle in his eye, but it just became habit as time went on. I'd always hated it when I was called Regina, because it usually meant I was in trouble. But, I really didn't mind it when Luka did it. I liked the way it sounded with his accent.
Tonight, it sounded even better, as it was said in between kisses, as it was said as his lips brushed my ear. And when it was all over, he kissed me and held me in his arms, calling me his "Beautiful friend, Regina" and thanking me. This time, I didn't ask him what he was thanking me for. I knew. Just as I knew that this would all change in the morning.
Trying not to wake him, I pressed myself against him and closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that my instincts were totally wrong this time
*******
Morning came all too soon. We were both due in at 8, so when my alarm went off at 6:30, he had to dash home to get a change of clothes. So much for that awkward morning after part. We didn't have time He did however give me a kiss on the forehead before he left. Okay, so you can imagine how MY mind worked on that one as I took the El in to work.
Lucky for me, however, I had a ton of paperwork to weed through and there was a tour bus accident at around 11, so by the time my mind got a breather to actually think about what went on, it was nearly three in the afternoon. Not only hadn't I had time to think about last night, I also hadn't eaten since the bagel I had at 9. I made my out to Doc Magoo's to grab something on my break. It wasn't crowded, so I sat at the counter and sipped a Coke while I waited for my sandwich. That wasn't a good thing. It was time alone, time to think.
I'd barely gotten to say two words to him all day. We'd exchanged eye contact a few times and smiles, but nothing more. I was trying to be rational and explain to that small part of my dating brain that never grew out of being a chubby teenager, that the reason we hadn't talked was that we were so busy. We were working and this was not the place for this. But, the chubby teenager argued, he didn't even say he would call me when he left this morning.
"Is this seat taken?" Luka's voice began, stopping my internal argument.
I looked to my right, where he'd taken a seat, and found him sitting there, holding a white rose. He held it out to me and I took it, on impulse, I brought it to my nose and breathed in the beautiful scent.
"White roses," he began, quietly, "Mean respect..."
I guess I looked surprised that he actually knew this fact, and he laughed and admitted that the woman at the flower stand on the corner told him that. Then, from behind his back, he produced a pink rose.
I asked him what this one meant and he told me the flower cart woman said it meant "something about friendship and getting to know you better". I took the pink rose and smelled it as well, then thanked him.
The waitress approached and he ordered a sandwich and coffee. Once she'd walked off, he turned to me and continued to speak in the same quiet tone. He said he was sorry that it had taken him so long to get to talk to me. He wished he didn't have to run off like he did in the morning. He hoped that I wasn't upset with him about last night.
My stomach dropped, but I played it off. I asked him why would I should be upset. We were both adults, it was a mutual thing. I guess I started rambling and he stopped me by saying my name. I looked at him.
He then explained that he hadn't come home with me thinking that we would end up in bed. Just as he knew that wasn't why I invited him home. He said that he meant what he said when he considered me a friend and that he would like to get to know me better.
This was the part where he was going to say that he didn't think of me in a romantic/sexual way. That last night was just emotions working their way out and it was a mistake. But he didn't say that. He said, that when and if I felt comfortable enough with him to pursue that kind of relationship, he would like it very much if we could try it.
I smiled at him. There was something about that accent. He could have just said, "I only want to meet you in the broom closet for cheap monkey sex on Tuesdays." But with that voice, and those eyes, I'd have said yes. So, I told him that I would like very much to get to know him better and yes, I would also like to pursue that kind of relationship.
He nodded solemnly and said, "Good then, we'll give it a try."
I laughed at the seriousness of his reply, then noticed the smile playing on the corner of his lips and the twinkle in his eye. "Giving it a try" was going to be a lot of fun and I had to admit that for once, I was glad my "instinct" was wrong.