Author's Note:
One-shot drabble I came up with. Not a "what if" challenge but the idea wouldn't leave me alone…so here it is…. Morgan teaches Reid to drive a stick shift.
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"- George Carlin
Derek Morgan was giving Spencer Reid a hard time. The paperwork from the last case was done and what better way to spend his time than picking on the young doctor? "You never learned to drive a manual?"
Spencer sighed. He was trying to finish his paperwork. Just because Morgan zipped through his, didn't mean Reid had. He was meticulous, almost compulsive about his paperwork being done right so he triple checked everything. "Can't you see that I'm working here?" He tried to sound annoyed but succeeded only in a whiny voice.
"Can't work and talk at the same time?"
"Of course I can. Can we just not talk about this right now?" The truth was, no one had been around to teach Reid how to drive one and he had never taken it upon himself to learn. After all this time, he thought he would be over this shit. His real dad had abandoned him and when he found a father like figure, he had too.
Apparently Morgan missed the subtle cues Reid was giving. "What self respecting man can't drive a stick shift? I bet you twenty bucks that Hotch and Rossi both know how to."
Reid wasn't prone to angry outbursts so he just ignored the older agent tormenting him. Maybe he would just be left alone if he didn't say anything more.
Morgan frowned, as he watched Reid's body language. "Hey man, I was just messing around."
"I know. I just…never had anyone around to teach me…" Reid finally admitted.
Derek, you are such an idiot and an asshole sometimes. It finally dawned on him why Reid had become so uncomfortable. "Look Kid, how about I teach you?"
"No that's okay. I have plans after work tonight." Not an altogether lie. He was planning on reading this new book he gotten.
"You? You have plans? Finally get yourself a girlfriend?"
"No. I got this new book. It's the first edition of Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. I've read it before of course but this is the first edition. First edition." Reid explained excitedly.
"Right. Got it. First edition. You have an eidetic memory, why are you reading it again?"
"Because it's the first edition." Reid replied, as if that explained everything.
"Well, you can read it later. I'm going to teach you how to drive a stick shift. Now quit double checking all your work and submit it already."
"Actually, I triple check everything."
Morgan groaned. "Of course you do."
"I'm almost done."
"Again, you have an eidetic memory. Why are you triple checking everything?"
"Because I like to be thorough. What's wrong with that?"
"Well, just meet me in the parking garage at my car."
"But the car you have is an automatic."
"Yes, but I have a stick at my house."
"You own two cars?"
"Yeah. I also own several properties…so?"
Reid shrugged, deciding not to comment and went back to his paper work.
When Reid didn't answer he walked to the elevator and disappeared inside.
It didn't take long to finish up the paper work. Reid wasn't keen on the idea of learning to drive a stick shift but Morgan wouldn't let up until he agreed so it was just better to get it over with now. He turned in his paper work and met his colleague at his car.
"Bout time man."
"It only took me," Reid checked his watch, "six minutes and thirty-seven seconds."
"You seriously need to get out more Kid."
"I get out."
"Your idea of going out is going to see Star Wars, episodes four through six, digitally remastered for the theaters."
"So?"
"Are we going to stand around in the parking garage arguing all day?" Morgan got in his car and started it up.
Reid placed his satchel in the back seat before climbing into the front can clicked on his safety belt. "Any pointers on driving a stick? Or you going to go with the sink or swim approach?"
"Kid, I'll be in the car with you so the latter is out of the question. I'd like to make it to my next birthday. Driving a stick is easy, once you get adjusted to using the clutch to help you switch gears. Stalling out is usually the most common problem while driving a stick. We'll start out at an empty lot or something and then go from there." Morgan began driving to his place.
"Clutch: a device that enables two rotating shafts to be connected and disconnected smoothly." Reid recited the knowledge easily.
"Uh…right. Thought you said you didn't know how to drive a stick?"
"I've never had anyone teach me but I understand the science and mechanical aspects of how it works. However, I doubt understanding the concept of driving a shift will make me good at actually doing it."
"It can't hurt."
"I understand the working under the hood of a car, but that doesn't mean you want me as your mechanic."
"Point. I'm sure you can't be any worse at driving a stick then driving an automatic."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you are terrible driver, Kid."
"I'm not that bad."
"You aren't that good either. When's the last time me or anyone else on the team let you drive?"
"About two years ago. You tossed me the keys when we finished up the case in Lower Canaan, Ohio."
"I'm guessing you totally missed the looks on JJ's and Prentiss' faces, didn't you?"
"Oh come on, I'm not that bad!"
"Right. And why is it, you haven't driven since?"
"If you think my driving so bad, why are you going to let me drive your manual?"
"Every man ought to know how to drive stick. It's like a rite of passage. Just one of those things a man has to do."
"Uh. I guess." Reid replied, certain he missed all the other "rites of passage" a man was supposed to go through. He lacked the male ego that Morgan and Hotch had in abundance. He figured those two had enough testosterone between the two of them to make up for his timid like demeanor.
Morgan brought his car to stop, next to his other car. It was a classic, red GTO 1964 hard top with bucket seats. "Now here is a car worthy of respect." He ran his hand over the hood. "I'll drive us to a safe place and then I'll let you get behind the wheel. I swear to God Reid, if you get a dent on my baby I'll make you pay for the repairs."
Reid got out of one car and into another. To him, it was all the same. Then again, he wasn't car kind of guy. Hell, he didn't even own a car. He preferred taking the bus. "You know if you're so worried about me crashing your car, you could just take me home."
"As much shit as I give you Kid, I trust you with my car."
"Really?" Reid asked with surprise.
"Well, yeah" Morgan found an empty lot close by and pulled in. "You ready Kid?"
"I guess." Reid replied without conviction. He swapped places with Derek.
"Before starting the car, place your right foot on the brake. Then apply your left foot to the clutch and move to the first gear, the one at the top here." Morgan pointed to top of the "H" shaped center console.
Reid did as instructed and the car stalled when he removed his foot off the gas pedal.
"Oh yeah, you need to keep your foot on the brake until you release the emergency brake."
Reid sighed.
"Your doing fine Kid. Try again, just as I told you and this time make sure you keep your foot on the brake until you release the emergency one. Then apply your right foot to the gas pedal slowly and as you apply pressure to the gas, let up off the clutch. Make sure you are applying pressure and releasing pressure at the same time so it'll shift smoother."
Another sigh. Reid started up the GTO and did as instructed, mentally going over the instructions Morgan gave over and over again. The car squeaked forward once he started accelerating, uncertainly at first but as the car progressed it moved with more confidence. "How do I know when it's ready to shift to the next gear?"
"Well, since we are in empty lot and not on a road, I think it's best to stay in first. But the car is ready to shift when you hit 3,000 RPMS and then you push down on the clutch with your left foot, shift down to the next gear and then repeat releasing and applying pressure to the clutch and gas, respectively. And you then at another 3,000 RPMS you shift again."
Reid nodded, content with first gear as he drove in circles without troubles. "What about stopping or reverse?"
"Usually you downshift when you want to stop but since we are in first gear, just press the brake and clutch at the same time and you'll come to a stop."
Reid did as directed and the car lurched to a stop. Good thing he had the seat belt on. "Sorry. Touchy brakes." He muttered.
"You are actually doing a pretty good job for a first timer. As far as reverse, keep your feet on the clutch and brake and move the shift all the way right and all the way down. Release the pedals simultaneously and the car will move backward on its own."
Reid did as told once more and the car began to roll backwards slowly. "Huh. You're right Morgan. It isn't hard to drive a manual. It's actually…kind of fun. I like it better than driving an automatic already."
Morgan grinned. "See. Told you that you could do it. And hey, you even like it. Isn't this much more fun than reading some book?"
"Um…I don't know if I'd go that far." Reid had picked up on how to transition from one gear to another quickly and put it back in first and began driving around some more. "Can I drive myself home?"
"No."
"I thought you trusted me with your car?"
"I do, but not enough for you to drive it in actual traffic."
"Well, can I drive it around in this lot for while then?"
"Sure Kid. Knock yourself out."
Reid and Morgan did circles in the empty lot until night fall.