Please leave me a review letting me know what you think, I will truly appreciate that! Also, I apologize beforehand for any grammar mistakes and misspellings. This takes places after episode six of season seventeen- enjoy!
I do not own Law & Order SVU.
"When you've seen it all
It becomes so clear
That each day can bring
A new set of fears
When you can't see the truth
It's as bright as the darkness
When the enemy's you
It's as bright as the darkness"- Devil You Know
Moonlight radiated her milk skin absorbing its warmth, finger nails clutching tight onto her bedsheets beneath her. Sandalwood mist swayed through the dark bedroom, leaving a foggy trail as the scent was slowly inhaled deeply into her lungs. She was floating as a loud desperate cry came from the other room, her mind lost in wonderland while her tiny frame became paralyzed. Ear piercing cries trembled through the walls sending motion waves into her inner core. Blue eyes flicker open observing the darkness mist, so heavy she was unable to see what was in front of her. Ears began to ring as the infant cries became louder, her head pounding from the last bottle of the liquid poison- she pop herself up to handle the situation.
Stumbling into kitchen she strains to open the fridge door, her mind dizzy and intoxicated. It was the same routine every night; the infant always getting her way. How she envies the little one, wishing life was as easy as the infants. Cries taunted her as she stumbles into the bedroom with bottle in hand, switching the light on with the other. Everything was blurry the light became her enemy, as the darkness became her friend- it was clearer in the dark..
"Please stop crying. "she begged the little infant as she lean over to hold her.
The little one's blue eyes staring back into hers, she was taunting her. Oh how this little creature looked so much like her, those eyes. Blue just like hers only the little ones was brighter with sparkle while hers was dark and empty. Her child taunted her.
She sat on the rocking chair with the baby in her arms, feeding the child. She felt cold and numb, what was once her reason for living is no more than a time consuming thing. The feeling was uncontrollable; she had good days but most of the time she felt numb and agitated. Looking down at the child in hand she felt love and hate; how things fell so out of control after her mother abandoned her.
She placed the peaceful sleeping infant back into the crib, making she was properly laid. Slowly walked out the bedroom shutting the light off and closing the door behind her. As the routine carried she made her way back to the kitchen; removing a bottle of Jack from the freezer. In the pitch black everything was right, everything was clear.
Blonde walks into her dark misty bedroom closing the door behind her. Inhaling the smooth aroma of sandalwood as it spreads with her veins. The Doors played softly in the background as it always reminded her of her childhood, her father and mother getting high while it played; they seemed happy. Ain't no rest for the wicked, sleepless night became normal. Insomnia became a friend along with the sense of hopelessness. It's comforting to know she had these friends transparent through her core; her mind began to float again. Oh how wonderland was dark blank space; she crawls to the middle of the bed bottle still in hand. She sat Indian style as her room spin in front of her and the tingling feeling raced up her fingertips.
The heavy feeling crushed her chest, that feeling of drowning- like a fish that was removed from water flopping around trying to oxygen. She inhales deeply trying to catch her breath, she giggled this feeling was too much comfort to fight. The blonde looks down the photograph in front of her sitting on her lap. Three blondes group together arms wrapped around one other waist, happy. Happiness that was rarely ever there for them three at once.
Her tiny cold hand wraps around the head of the Jake twisting the top off, as a salty tears ran down her cheek. Swallowing hard to fight it but no success. Bringing the bottle up to her, allowing her salty tear stain lips wrap around the top, the burning smooth gold liquid slid down her throat, burning her core.
"To family."
Her bad ritual continued.