Killer to One's Self
By: GhostlyHauntings
GH: I don't own bleach. I was reading a book and came across an interesting message from someone 'He's is a serial killer and he only has one victim; himself.' The books main character had killed himself 39 times and each one he woke and was perfectly fine, so this one would be about Ichigo and his constant trying to kill himself in various ways.
Jumping off the cliff, a camera follows the young man's body down and down. It keeps losing sight from all the bushes and trees, but when the body stops and hits the ground the camera slows down not yet revealing his body. Soon, it shows his face; the calm sober expression framed by red hair undamaged by the fall. Soon it zooms out to show the teen's mangled body, blood and broken bones, to other's it was homicide or an accident but in reality it was suicide. The body pulses and light surrounds him once, and then a flash covers the body completely. I can't see it, because that's me and soon I open my eyes. I've done this a hundred times and each time, I wake up alive and uninjured.
I'm not depressed, or anything else you brand me as, it's just a way to pass the time of my boring life. Each time I try a new method, not a lot left that I can try so I mostly try to make each one more…permanent. I've jumped fifty times, drowning ten times, setting myself on fire twenty times, strangulation fifteen times, poison (overdose) four times, and shot myself once.
If I had to guess my favorite method of suicide, then I'm a jumper. I didn't like the shooting one's self, it gives you too much time to think it over. Plus, it's A LOT of work. To get a gun is to complex (especially if your underage, me), you have to load it if it's not already, then you have to decide the head or the mouth shot, while you .think, then stop yourself. The difference with jumping is, you just take one steep then enjoy the ride down. Maybe, this makes me a coward for not wanting to think of the consequences. No, forget the maybe. I am a coward.
I've fought things no average human could imagine. I've loved one of those things, and I killed that one man I loved that didn't bore me. His striking blue hair is the one thing I can remember besides his name, Grimmjow. I've cried before for forgetting his face, maybe I am depressed but I don't believe I am. I'm just trying to get to him, but each time never last.
Right now I'm in an abandoned part of the town, no one but myself ever comes any more. There's a cliff here that I jump from usually, I have a goal I try to hit each time I jump. In this park is a statue of an angel on her pedestal; her hands out stretched to the sky, her wings outstretched ready to fly but she never can. To me she looks likes she's trying to catch someone, I always think it's me she's trying to catch but she never succeeds. The closest I've gotten to was her pedestal, getting up I brush myself off and head back up the cliff.
Once at the top, I decide on a running start. I back off a couple feet, and then I take my running start. I jump along this time, and this time I succeed at getting her, my one hundred and one deaths and this time, and this time I know I'll stay dead.
Her hands price through my back, I don't die instantly. My breathing gets harder to catch, and for once I feel the pain. I smile as blood flows from my mouth slightly and my back bleeds profusely, my friends gave up trying to help after my ninetieth time they thought this was the number of times I tried (and failed). But, I have never tried and failed; I've tried and successfully done this. And now I'll get to see Grimmjow again, my names Ichigo and have just successfully died.