Summary: a bit-SI and multi-cross. You are given a chance to watch and guide a certain pigtailed martial artist; however, something amiss tags along. What kind of trouble will this bring? Pairings unknown. Read and Review.
Disclaimer: I don't own any anime and game series. The characters do not belong to me, I may bought the games and anime series but I do not have the copy rights to any characters from any game series and anime series what so ever and for any intention to make money off of.
Chapter 1-Beginning of the Unwanted Journey
Hello everyone. How are you doing? I hope your days are just as fine as they should be.
Why do you ask? Hmmm….How can I put this?
When you wake-up you normally stare up at a familiar ceiling while resting safely on your nice comfy bed, right? With no care in the world nestled all snug in your bed while dreaming of sugar-plums dancing in your head. It's not like something out of the ordinary would ever break this moment like say... finding yourself in a strange floating bubble for example…
Ha ha! Yeah, sounds silly, doesn't it? I mean, really, what are the chances of that? Ha ha ha ha!
Take those three-dimensional holographic screens hovering around you for example. Regarding the facts they don't have frames or glass screens to project them, everything seems normal.
And what about those oversized glassed containers? Apart from the flashing lights and the snake like demented creatures inside, I'm sure it's quite natural.
And let's not forget that exam table! Along with those nice set of surgical utensils and those fine looking bottles marked with skull and cross bone on them, I'm sure we don't have anything to worry about, right?
Nope, no surrey. Everything's perfectly fine…
LIKE HELL IT IS?
Lode and behold everyone! For today, something is DEFIANTLY not right!
Sorry for my little exaggeration but please bear with me.
"I never thought I would say this but…where the HELL AM I?"
Clank...Clank…
I snapped my head to the side and shouted "Whose there?" but no one answered. From the very darkness, a shadowy figure stepped forward. I wasn't able to clearly see the face of my captor in my… bubble prison but for what I can tell, the figure looked like an old man around his 60s. He wore an oversized lab coat like any scientist but a size too large for his small frame. What disturbs me the most about the guy is his gleaming smile.
The old man walked in silence toward a large switchboard from the right-side of my dome prison. He occasionally nods as he examines the numerous charts all around him while tinkering the controls with great speed. After finishing his analysis, he looked up at me with his glaring glee.
"My my my, looks like I pick the right candidate after all," muttered the old man. "Yes, you will do nicely. How are you feeling boy?"
"Like crap, that's what. Where is this place? Get me down from here!"
"Now, now, all in good time. Just stay there for a little while and I'll get back to you." The old man proceeded to walk toward the large computer monitor while stroking his chin. After typing a few more keys, the old man turned back to me with that same stupid grin.
"Okay, now I have time for you."
"Are you making fun of me?" I said glaring at the old man. "And another thing, who the bloody hell are you!"
"I'm glade you ask!" exclaimed the old man. "I'm Valentinez Alcelenalez Seeha Hooshizavolellez…... Gumbi Govella Blue Strattavarri Tallentrent Pierre Aundre Chartenhemos Alvaddovitchi Valdos George Doitzhel Kaitzer III. Don't hesitate to call.(1)"
"…You've GOT to be kidding me."
"Of course!"
FUZZZZ!
"Hah ha ha haaa, that gets them every time!"
Ehhh…Okay, not the best action I've done. In case you were wondering, I accidentally thump my head on the electric field. And just to let you know, it really hurts… a lot.
"I despise you."
"My, can't take a joke I see." The old man sighed and scratched the bold-spot of his head. "Alright, alright, I'll stop messing with you. Now listen up! You are at the present of the great Vinson Valentinez, the greatest scientists in the world! ….second to the current one living on this dusty planet of course..."
Geez, modest isn't he?
"And to point out where you are, you're in my laboratory, where I'm at the process of conducting my latest experiment. This latest project involves a life changing experience on a certain someone and I need you to make sure this happens!"
"Like Hell I will."
"No no, hear me out. You see, I wanted to see what would happen if you, an outer being of this world, would affect the life of this subject in mind. It's not that hard. All you have to do is look after the subject for a period of time. And when the job is done, you can go back home to your boring pitiful life. Sounds reasonable enough?"
"I repeat, 'Like Hell I will!'" I answered back. "You expect ME to help YOU? Like that's going to happen!"
The Old Man did nothing more but put up his pearly white teeth. "I'm sure you'll reconsider."
"I like to see you try?"
As if he expected this, Vinson flipped a switch on the small consul which popped out a little black box. He proceeds to open the case and press a small button, allowing large number of columns shelves to bust out of the walls. For what contained within these shelves are number of cases, cassettes, and CDs as far as a mile long.
"How's about we get along by listening to my personal collections of Whiny Protest Songs from the 60's? You're going to love it! Let's see, I have over 4,536 series from Woodstock, Summer of Love, Paul & Mary, Sweetwater, Gigi Dover and the Big Love—"
"I get it already, I'll do it! Just stop it! I can't take it anymore! Just stooooppppppp!"
"Good! I knew you will see it my way!"
I glared back at the old man. "I really despise you."
"Now as I was saying, your task is to keep a close eye on the young man, help him with things like his education and people skills, and other things you see fit. Frankly his life is a mess; fiancées, bad lucks, curse and many other things. But I'm sure you'll do fine!"
"Why do I get the feeling this is getting worse by the minute," especially how he described how bad the life the guy has. "And who is this guy anyway?"
"I'm glad you ask! Now just a sec, this will take…Here we go. Now, pay close attention. The young man we'll be working on lives in a small district of Nerima, Japan. He has been living in the region for about six month and six days now and—"
At that point, I stopped listening to pay close attention at the familiar face on the big screen. Oh yes, I know him alright. That familiar red Chinese shirt, that trademark pigtail and that annoying confident smile…Oh bloody hell... I closed my eyes and hope to any Godly deity that person I'm seeing will go away when I look back. Nope, he's still there.
"So let me get this straight," I started off. "You abducted me; tested who knows what on me, and expect me to complete this little project of yours, just to help a fictional anime character?"
"That is correct," the old man replied.
"And for me to do that, I have to help fix some of his…flaws, right? His educations, his social skills…all that stuff? This guy?"
"You got it." Vinson said with a grin.
"…You sick twisted BLOODY SON OF A (BEEP!)! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WITH THIS!"
"Ho ho hoh ho ho ho ho! Don't worry; I'm sure you'll do just fine." chuckling a bit more, the old man went back to his oversized computer. "But enough about that, let get you fixed up for your mission. First, we'll work on the language barrier. Your status tells me you are capable of speaking in English, a dialog of Chinese and … hmm how did Irish get into the category? …Oh well."
"Now see here you good for nothing whack job! I don't know who you think you are but-Hey! Are you even listening?"
"Shhhh…not when I'm typing."
"Oh, don't you shush me! When I get out of here, I'm gonna—"
"Computer, activate data installation to 4000 volt!"
"4000 what?"
Acknowledged. T-minus in 5…4…3…2…Ping!
FZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
"YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
11111111111111111111111111111
/Nerima District /
Ah Nerima, what a peaceful and lively town. Full of life, full of joy, and most of all, full of rampaging martial artists who are capable of smashing through solid walls and destroy a good portion of a city block.
In this community, there is one known martial artist residing at the Tendo Home.
Meet Ranma Saotome, student of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū (Anthing Goes). Since he had finish his ten year training journey, he and his father decided to settle down at the Tendo home to catch up on a thing called life.
And at this very moment, our hero is just about to start off his day bright and early. Let's watch.
SPLASH!
"What ya do that for?" shouted an angry and wet redhead girl climbing out of the koi pond. She glares up at the overweight man who happened to be the perpetrator who threw her out of the window in the first place. The man then jump out of the window and landed right next to the pond.
"Foolish Boy!" yelled Genma, who happens to be Ranma's poor of an excuse Father. "As the heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, you should always be prepared for such an unlikely attack! Even in your sleep! Oh for shame, how can the Kami give me such a useless excuse for a son?"
POW! SPLASH!
"The same goes for why I have a STUPID PANDA FOR A FATHER!" hollered Ranma, punching her father into the koi pound.
Mid Morning: Ranma on his way to school.
"Stupid Old Man. Always pulling the same crap everyday." After beating up his father, Ranma ate a quick breakfast and ran off to school. Not that far behind him, his supposing to be fiancée, Akane Tendo, is running to catch up with our young hero.
"Ranma, wait up! I can't keep up with you!"
"Well being a cow that ya are, I could see why!-Urk!" Ranma suddenly stopped when he felt something pulling on his pigtail.
"Excuse me? Did you just called me FAT?" Akane angrily said.
"Well if the bills fit, then yes!"
CRASH!
"Humph! Serves you right." Akane walks off the scene leaving a large Tanuki statue on top of our bruised young hero.
At Furinkan High: Ranma greets upper classman Kuno before class.
"Geez, she didn't have ta hit me so hard! Now I'm really late!" Entering through the front gate, Ranma stop to see a large number of male students scattered all over the yard.
"Can't believe these idiots are at it again. She must've been really angry." Ranma then step to the side to avoid a downward strike.
"Ranma Saotome! This is the day that I, Tatewaki Kuno age 18, will smite thee and free the lovely Tendo Akane and the Pigtail Gi-" POW!
"Geez Kuno, can you come up with better lines? I mean, it's really getting old," said Ranma removing his foot from the fallen Blue Blunder. After giving a few more kicks, Ranma heads straight into the school building.
During Class: Hinako-sensei is teaching an important lesson to her favorite students.
"Now class, you're next assignment is to give a full five minute speech in English about family. Now, the function of giving a speech is to get the listeners into a proper frame of mind so that they will want to hear what the speaker has to say. Obviously, the speaker's first concern must be challenging the attention of his listeners, for whatever he says without their attention will be lost."
ZZZZzzzz….ZZZZzzzzzz….
"Next, he must gain their respect before they will accept his message. The speaker has the job to focus on the thoughts of his audience on one focal point. Then, after getting the audience to think in unison on some point, he can shift it's thinking to the subject of his speech. All of this is done while gaining their trust and helping them to adjust to him. Furthermore, he should find the common ground between his audience and himself."
ZZZZZZzzzz….ZZZZZZzzzzz….ZZZZZzzzz…
-Twitch-twitch- "Mr. Saotome, I am pleased that you came to class on time," Hinako calmly began, "but that doesn't give you an excuse to disturb my class! Happōgoensatsu!"
Brushing her long hair to the side, the now adult Hinako continued on with the lecture. "If these steps are as followed, the inevitable questions that arise in the listeners' minds will be answered. The assignment is due next week so I hope you delinquents will be ready till then."
A soft groan can be heard in the background.
Afternoon: Lunch Time with 'Good friends.'
"Ranchan, I made a special combo meal just for you. I call it 'The Ranchan Deluxe.' Hope you like it." Ukyo cheerfully hands over her favorite costume a large plate of Okonomiyaki with large portions of meat and heavy seasoned toppings.
"Oh man, thanks Ucchan! This looks-" Clank splat! "great…"
"No, no, Airen don't want to eat Spatula Girl greasy food. Airen wants to eat Shampoo's decisions noodles, yes? Made with SPECIAL seasons. Good for body."
"Look what you've did to my Okonomiyaki you Bimbo!" Ukyo angrily pulls out her trusty battle spatula and struck the bowl of noodles out of the Amazon's grasp.
Spash!
"Arrgh, why you do that you stupid girl! Shampoo kill!" Shampoo pulls out a board sword and charge at the Okonomiyaki chief.
"Bring it on you Hussy!"
Ranma sigh deeply, disappointed and sadden for the sudden waste of food. As the two girls left to settle their daily quarrel, Ranma took off the hot bowl of noodles dripping on top of his head and finish off what remain of the Okonomiyaki that was staining his pants.
After School: Ranma decided to help the Good Citizens of Nerima with their problem.
"Wha ha ha ha! What a Haul! What a Haul!" An imp like creature wearing a handkerchief for a mask is happily running along on top of the fences with a large bundle of lingerie on its back. Not far from behind, the small figure is being chased by large number of angry women.
Ranma, being a good civilian that he is, tries to stop the creature named Happosai from his continuous harassment to the good people of Nerima.
"Get back here ya Freak!"
Happosai evades a combo of punches and kicks as he stuck out his tongue at the young pursuer.
"Nah nah, Catch me if you can sonny!"
"I got ya!" POW! "AHHHHH, Oof!"
"Hah ha hah! Better luck next time sonny!" Happosai made his escape after sending Ranma flying by just a twist from his smoke pipe.
"Argh, darn that Old Goat." Ranma was about to continue the chase when a white object suddenly landed on top of his face. It was soft and he could smell a hint of conditioner on it. Removing the white cloth, Ranma notices angry pairs of eyes looming over him. He knew he'll regret this sooner or later so he looks down in his hand.
Yep, he was right. The Old leach left him holding the bag…again.
"H-hey…Wait… It's not what it looks like."
Yes Ranma, that's very convincing. Say that while you're holding the white G String why don't ya, idiot.
'This is definitely going to hurt…'
"Get him!"
In the Evening: Ranma comes back to the Tendo home to have a nice dinner with the family.
Coming back to the Tendo wasn't easy. Taking a beating from about half the population of women in Nerima can do that. Right now, all Ranma wants is a nice home cooked meal but nooooo, Twiddle Dumb (Soun) and Dumber (Genma) just had to announce another wedding attempt to join the school.
"Are you saying my little girl is not good enough for you?" A Demonic Head glare down at our pigtailed Hero.
"There's no way I'll marry that Flat-Chest-Tomboy!"
"Ranma! You disgrace your father so! What have I done to have such a dishonorable little girl?"
WHAM!
"Gee, I don' know Pops? Ya wanna list?" said Ranma removing his foot from his father's ugly mug.
"Hey! Who are you calling a tomboy you jerk?"
"Well Akane. Compare to me, 'm better built than you."
"Ranma…!"
"Aawww, is the Tomboy jealous? What ya goin' do this time?"
WACK!
"Humph, serves you right," said Akane after sending Ranma airborne on a one-way trip on AIR AKANE.
At the End of the Day: Ranma would relax on top of the Tendo rooftop to gaze up at the nightly sky.
Ah yes, such a typical life for one Ranma Saotome. A normal life where he spent his days going to an ordinary school, hanging out with good friends, and—
"Would ya shut-up?"
Ex-excuse me?
The screen shifted around for a bit until it sets on a certain young man.
"Yeah, I'm talkin' to you pal!" shouted Ranma.
Oh my, this is new.
"Well!" Ranma asked impatiently.
W-well Ranma, as you can see, I'm the narrator. It's my sworn duty to the viewing audience to illustrate your life in an exact specific detail. Without me, no one will know the life of the one and only, Ranma Saotome!
"…For a narrator, you really suck."
What!
"Yeah, I mean, doesn't take a genius to see what's really going on here." Ranma point out. "Greeting the upper classman? Eating with good friends? Helping the Good Citizens of Nerima? Dude, where did ya get this stuff?"
Well excuuuussse me! I'm sorry you find me a lousy illustrator but don't you dare accusing me of such ludicrous. This is all the writer's fault! I have to read whatever they give me and I have nothing to say about it! It's not my fault they interpret your life like a happy go Lucky TV sitcom! This job isn't easy!
"Don't care. Not my problem."
Why you ungrateful little-
"Look, why don't you pull a Ryoga and get loss already? I had a bad day and I don' want ta hear ya as much as I want to. So…GET LOST!"
Wel-That-….Fine, I don't need to take this… I'm going home.
Ranma waited a couple of minutes in silence. He then turned to his side to get in a comfortable position, pleased that the annoying voice is gone. "Now that that's been taking care of, maybe I can actually get some-"
Wam!
"Ranma! Stop talking to yourself and go back to sleep!" shouted Akane after throwing the 50lb dumbbell.
"I hate my life…"
11111111111111111111111111111
Back in the Lab… minutes later…
"There, all done. Now that wasn't bad, was… oh dear." Old Vinson averted his eyes from the young man, taking note how he is twitching and glowing inside the energy bubble. "Maybe I overdid the treatment just a wee bit. Oh well, can't be helped."
"Ehhhhh….hurts…. so….much….."
"Ah! You're alive!"
"No…thanks…to you!"
Old Vinson crossed his arms, giving off an old humph. "Kids these days. Its people like you who don't appreciate the hard work we scientist have to suffer."
"You shock me 4000 volt of electricity!"
"Details, details. Now, on to faze Two!"
Argh great…. what else can go wrong?
As if it was a sick joke, an orb floats down from wherever it came just to depict a screen right in front of me.
"After careful analysis, I've discover that, in some parts of your mind, lays a unique wave pattern that remains dormant," explained the old man. "If I'm correct, which I am, if any of these patterns were to surface, you will experience some abnormal behavior in which your characteristic will behave quit differently."
"…Meaning…?"
"You have a personality disorder," The old man then layout a map with Red-dots, locating where the pattern are. "Now, the readings show that each exist its own identities or personalities if you would. You won't be able to access these personas unless you experience the condition you're in a certain environment or by a great level of stress. You can also somehow bond with these personas as if they were your own but it depends on who you are coexisting of course."
He must be joking. I mean, seriously? Multiple personalities? That's just too much.
"Stop messing with me! Since when do I have such a thing?"
"Believe whatever you want, it's there and it's been there for a long time."
"Why should I believe you? You must have put some kind of mind control thing for all I know."
"Kid, there is no way I would have been able to do such a thing that wasn't there in the first place. And keep in mind you might not be able to activate the change again like the Incredible Hulk. I'm guessing you have to feel the change and let it flow like water or something. There're also signs for possible side-effects where you'll either blank-out, experience some mental dispute where your minds struggles to see which will dominate one another or you're fall into a vegetation state."
Twitch-twitch! You have got to be kidding…
"However, your condition is quite troublesome." Vinson Continued. "There will be times you'll accidentally trigger these symptom by high strain of emotions. Let's say you got angry, I mean REALLY angry. Your mind will trigger to become a raging berserker where you'll probably go on a mindless killing spree, cause devastation wherever you go and take down anything that gets in your way."
He's joking. He had to be. This can't be for real. But the look in his eyes tells me otherwise. The possibilities of such form can be devastating and hazardous wherever he goes. I can't imagine what will happen if it were ever unleashed in a large population.
"C-c-can you do something about this? You have the technology so you can fix this. Can't you? !"
The Doc stares at me for what seems like an hour until he burst in a fit of laughter.
"As if! I find this quite amusing. It would be boring if I did something like that. Yes, I'm well capable of performing the procedure, but where's the fun in that? In fact, I'm actually going to increase the possibility! Why don't we add some more personalities while we're at it?"
A small orb floats gently to its creator as he input something what look like a disk into its empty slot.
"This, my little guinea pig, is actually a mainframe computer, in which I've designed not only to download information from any part of the universe but also upload the information into any things or beings. …With the proper equipments of course..."
"You can't be serious!" I complained. This doesn't sound good. Correction, everything about this doesn't sound good at all! I already got enough shock treatment thank you very much and I'm not planning for another!
"Oh, but I'm quite serious." The orb then stationed itself over a bowl shaped slot right below my container. Then snake-like wires suddenly pops out of it, snatching the orb in mid-air and riling it back down to set it into its empty slot. I look down at the orb as it begins glow into a sickly pal blue color.
Then small partials of lights began to form. I started to feel uncomfortable when the lights began to swirl around me in a clockwise motion, developing signs of lights and electricity.
"Ohhh, don't worry. You won't feel a thing."
"Speak for yourself."
"Oh, before I forget, you'll be also helping Ranma with another matter."
"Such as?"
"His love life."
"Hey wait a minute! You didn't say anything about—"
And just like that, the switch was thrown, causing the chamber to light up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.
"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Its times like this I wish I was still in bed.
11111111111111111111111111111
End Transmission
(1) Trigun:Got the name when Vash the Stampede first introduced himself to Wolfwood.