A/N: If you sue, I will set the Slash Fairy upon your workplace.
It was a completely average day in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ron was feeling rather sulky about his widespread failure in the overall concept of Quidditch, Fred and George were playing a cruel and unusual prank on an innocent first year Hufflepuff contemplating the Hufflepuffian journey of finding Waldo, and Harry was engulfed in fiery CAPS LOCK! ANGST. Crookshanks was engaged in a scandalous love affair including Lucius and a suspicious angel statue (Possible future crossover, you say?) and Draco was sitting in a conveniently placed armchair, stalking Hermione Granger.
"OI! Think of it as "observing!"
..Fine, Draco. Whatever works in Malfoy lala land.
The witch in question was attempting to completely block out humanity in general, absorbed in "Hogwarts: A History."
"Oi! Hermione! You read that book in literally every fanfic. Why-" –Dean Thomas vanished on the spot, due to the space-time-forth wall vortex he had tried in vain to surpass a few seconds ago. Dean's entire existence was instantly forgotten.
Suddenly, there was a thumping at the door, as if someone was throwing themselves against a solid object out of complete, utter desperation and madness. The door flew open. Ginerva Weasley burst into the chamber shrieking "DUMBLEDORE SORTING HAT DOBBY OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGES WILL CAUSE MY BRAIN TO SHORT CIRCUI-" –and she was unconscious upon the stone floor.
"Ginny! What..happened! Ron exclaimed as he tried to revive his sister. Looking up at Harry with a panicked look in his eyes, fear spread throughout his quivering soul.
Only then did the inhabitants of Gryffindor Tower realize what Ginny had been trying to say. Neville promptly fainted. Draco twitched violently. Hermione cried. The maniacal author cackled.
A/N: There will be moar…mwahahaha!