The December I met Roxas was one of the coldest our city had ever seen. It was still a few weeks away from Christmas, but the wind whipped through the streets with a bitterness and chill that shook its inhabitants to the bone. Snowflakes danced down from gray clouds with an innocence and beauty that camouflaged the iciness and chill they held.
Walking from my apartment building to grab a taxi on the corner left my nose numb and as red as my hair and my fingers tingled from the cold even when they were tucked inside the thickest pair of gloves I owned. I hurriedly waved down the first open taxi I could and barely gave the drive enough time to stop before tugging open the door and flopping down on the warm pleather interior. I brushed a few stray snowflakes off my coat as I gave the address of my work to the driver and leaned back relaxing as warm air swam from the car's heater and caressed my numb face.
It was always days like these, when the wind howled by the cab windows and I had to stomp by feet inside my boots to warm them up that I was thankful I had a place to live that was warm and the money to afford a taxi so I didn't have to walk far in this godforsaken weather. As the car turned down another street, and I knew that I had a good ten minutes before we got to my office building, I let my eyes slid shut and took in a deep breath and let the warmth wash over me for a few minutes.
A quick braking made my body lean forward roughly against the tight restraints of the seatbelt and my eyes flew open in surprise. Shit, I thought to myself, as I saw the heavy traffic sprawled out in front of me. At this rate, the last few blocks would take us a good fifteen minutes when I could walk that distance in a good five, regardless of the cold. Leaning forward I paid the fare and tipped the driver before he could say anything and slunk out of the taxi in the middle of the street and dodged my way around a couple honking cars to the sidewalk.
"Shut the fuck up you're not even moving ya assholes!" I grumbled to myself as I flipped one particularly nasty looking blonde chick as I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck and tugged my coat tighter around me.
Snow and ice crunched under my feet as I hurriedly walked towards my office building, and wind howling by me with a fierce icy sting making me shiver. With my mind preoccupied on the weather and thoughts wandering to a legal brief I had to look over when I got to my office, I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing.
My shoe made contact with a small metal coffee cup and clanked loudly as it thudded repeatedly on the ground, rolling away from where I'd stopped from surprise.
"Hey, watch where you're going!" A young man's voice called out at me, and I turned to look down in surprise into deep, beautiful but cold blue eyes that took my breath away. The kid couldn't have been more than eighteen, and he glared at me before scrambling off for his little metal mug and picked up a few coins that had been scattered in the snow when I'd kicked it.
Still in mild shock from the situation, I stared at the strange boy on the street corner. He had a torn knit hat sitting atop blonde hair that peaked out from the corners, and his clothes were oversized and worn but not filthy. But the windbreaker and worn out jeans were not enough to even remotely be keeping him warm, I was surprised he wasn't frozen to the sidewalk from hypothermia. He caught me staring as he stood in front of me with all his coins collected and sent me a glare, but all I could focus on was how small he looked swimming in his oversized clothes and how sunken and tired his eyes looked. I realized he was waiting for an apology, or a few bucks, and so I gave him both.
"Sorry, kid. I wasn't paying attention." I sincerely replied to his pointed stare and dug my wallet out of my pocket. His eyes darted from my face to the ten I pulled out and dropped in his cup, and he nodded, pleased with my offering of apology. "Not to be nosy or anything, but you seem a bit young to be out here." I mused, trying to sound casual. Truthfully, this boy interested and worried me, and captured my attention with just his presence in a way no one else ever had.
The boy gave me a questioning look as he debated if I was worth his time to even respond to my comment. "I'm not that young. And look, I can take care of myself, if that's what you're wondering." I could tell the kid was trying to sound tough, but his voice came out more tired than anything. In that moment I happened to glance down and see his hands wrapped around his mug protectively. They were red and raw from the cold, and I worried if he spent much more time outside he'd get frostbite.
As the boy went to sit back down on the sidewalk on a ratty square of cloth and pulling an old thin quilt over his lap, I felt my heart ache for the kid, and without even thinking I peeled off the gloves keeping my own hands warm. The cold stung at first, but the pain my heart felt just thinking about leaving the kid without doing anything else for him stung worse.
"Here, kid. I think you need these more than I do." I gave him a smile to know I was trying to be sincere about my gesture and not coming off as a high and mighty asshole. Blue eyes blinked once, then twice.
"For…me?" He asked quietly, tentatively reaching out towards my hands. I felt my heart break for the kid, who was clearly not used to simple kindness.
"You need them more than I do. I've got another pair at my office." That was a lie, but the kid didn't need to know. His fingers were still inches away, hesitant to take my small offer. "Don't worry kid, I don't bite." I winked at the kid with a smile, and his cheeks turned a deeper red, and this time not from the cold. With those last words he reached out and took the gloves, his bare fingers brushing against mine and I almost shivered from how freezing they were. Our eyes met in that brief second and I saw something flash through the blue I couldn't understand, but I understood the small smile that graced his lips when he held the gloves in his hands.
When he smiled, the kid was even more beautiful than I thought a person could be. "It's Roxas, by the way. Not kid." I smiled, and nodded. Roxas…that name seemed so familiar, yet I knew I'd never heard it before. In fact, the longer I looked at the Roxas and the more I talked to him, I had a feeling deep in the pit of my chest that made Roxas seem so familiar. But that was ridiculous, since I'd never seen this boy before, so I tried to shake it off.
"Nice to meet you Roxas, the name's Axel." I knew if I talked to Roxas for much longer I'd be seriously late for work, but it was painful to just leave him on the street, yet I hardly knew him. I promised myself I'd figure out a way to help him, but if I got fired I really would have no way to help the poor kid. I mean, no way to help Roxas. "I've gotta go to work, but listen Roxas, you take care of yourself, ok? And if you ever get into a rough spot, or it gets any colder out here and you've got nowhere else to go, I work at L&S Law Firm on 25th and East Ave. Just ask for me at the front desk." I smiled at him again, and held out my hand for a handshake. The smile Roxas gave back for both grateful and sad all mixed into one. He shook my hand with my gloves already on.
"Thanks, Axel…I owe you more than I can ever pay back." Roxas's eyes fell away from mine, and something told me Roxas wasn't just talking about the gloves or the ten dollar bill.
"I didn't give you those because I want you to pay me back or for you to owe me. Think of it as a gift from a friend." With that, we said our goodbyes and I put my hands inside my coat pocket as I hurried off towards work. But as I turned to corner, I looked back to see Roxas's eyes had never left me. He smiled and gave me a small wave which I returned, before I forced myself to keep walking around the corner.
That day I couldn't focus on my work. My thoughts kept wandering back to that street corner and those blue eyes.
"Ok Axel, what the fuck is up with you today?" I looked up to see Riku, my silver haired co-worker and friend, looming over me with a pointed look. A few seconds ago I'd been consumed by my own thoughts so much that when I'd turned the corner I'd ran into a stack of boxes that'd been sitting in the hallway for a week. Now, as Riku- the ass- didn't even bother to help, I was crawling on the floor picking up the papers I'd sent flying on the way to my face's meeting with the carpet.
"Nothing man, just a weird morning." I shrugged, not wanting to talk about my encounter with Roxas. Talking about him would ruin the image I had of him in my head. I wanted to preserve those memories as something untainted and pure. I knew Riku wouldn't understand what made him so special to me without meeting him, and I didn't want to be told to forget about 'that homeless kid on the street corner.'
When I finally collected my papers and stood up to look Riku in the eyes, I found him staring at me, as if trying to read my mind with his stare. Finally, he shrugged. "Hey man, if you don't want to talk about it I won't bug you about it. Just trying to be a good friend, but it's tough as shit with you as a friend." He shot me a cocky smirk that rivaled my own and I glared at him with a grin.
"Consider yourself lucky to be graced by my priceless and coveted friendship. People would kill to be as close to me as you are, remember that." Of course, Riku just laughed in my face and turned to leave.
"Whatever you say, Ax. Just know when you need to come crying to someone I'll be in my office." With his back already to me he raised a hand as a meager wave goodbye and strode off down to his office. I chuckled to myself though, as I saw him make a detour into a certain brunette's cubicle. Riku, you dog, I thought to myself as I headed to the copier which I'd been trying to reach fifteen minutes ago.
The rest of the day crawled by, and when I found myself free to go home I all but ran out of my office. With a quick goodbye to Riku, I wrapped my coat and scarf around me tighter than before as I left my office building, and instead of catching a taxi I started to walk towards the block Roxas had been camped out on earlier that day.
As my feet crunched on the icy concrete I felt my heart pound my chest the closer I got to Roxas, and my breath caught in my throat when I turned to corner.
But there were no deep blue eyes waiting for me, no golden blonde hair peeking out from a ratty old hat; no Roxas. My heart sank, and I scanned the area around me in vain, but Roxas was gone. He'd slipped out of my reach before I'd really had the chance to help him. Inwardly I kicked myself for being so stupid and letting him get away. I'd left him to face the streets with ten dollars and a pair of gloves when I could have helped him so much more.
For the rest of the week, I went by that spot on the street each morning I went to work and each evening I was headed home. And each visit killed me a little more. I'd met the kid once, but now I found my thoughts consumed with what had happened to him, and where he might be. There was something special about him I couldn't get over, and in the back of my head I was plagued by how familiar Roxas seemed to me. It was a connection I couldn't name, but I felt as if Roxas was someone I'd known for much longer, like an old friend. I shook my head though because I'd knew I'd never met the boy before, and with a heavy sigh each day I moved on, hoping he was all right.
On Friday, when my week had slowly crept by as if stuck in the snow drifts outside, I found myself in my office inputting data that was quickly making my brain sink out my ears from boredom, when a loud knock fell on my door. I looked up to see a rather annoyed Saix glaring at me.
"Axel, come with me." He growled, and I sighed and followed him. As if my week couldn't get any worse, not I had Saix grumbling at me more than usual. However, when we got into the elevator and he pressed the lobby button I found myself even more confused.
"Hey, Saix, where're we going?" Golden eye bore daggers into my soul, and I visible recoiled from the insane man I was forced to work under.
"Shut up, Sinclair. You'll find out soon enough. Always causing my trouble, I'm the assistant to the president of this damn company and I'm still running errands for the likes of you…" Saix mumbled angrily to himself, and though I wanted to cut in with a smart ass remark, I found I just didn't have it in me at the time being. Sighing, when I found myself to be doing an incredible amount lately, I stuck my hands in my suit pants pockets and leaned back against the elevator.
The ding of the elevator brought me to my senses, and when the elevator doors separated and the lobby was visible, I felt my heart skip a beat and my breathe hitch.
"Hey, stop, don't touch me! Axel said I could come here, ouch! Don't be so rough you meat head!" Unable to look more out of place if he'd tried, there stood Roxas, kicking and pulling against the two security guards presently attempting to restrain him.
"Let him go!" I shouted without even thinking, and the struggle stopped and Roxas fell still and turned to look at where my voice at echoed out from. Oh, Roxas…. I thought to myself as I painfully took in his torn clothes and the cut that ran along his cheek and his big blue eyes that seemed sunken and broken. What happened to you?
"A-Axel!" He called out, the security guards hesitantly letting go of him with me finally present. Roxas hurried over, and I watched Saix's disapproving glare bore first into Roxas and then move to me.
"You know this boy, Sinclair?" Saix spat out, his noise scrunched in disgust at Roxas's poor appearance. Confidently, sick of Saix's terrible attitude about anything regarding myself and angered by his apparent hate for Roxas, I nodded.
"He's a friend of mine. I told he could come here and find me if he needed anything. If you'll excuse us, I'll be taking my lunch break now." Unable to argue, and apparently glad I was getting Roxas out of few of our 'valued' customers he nodded with a glare and turned back to the elevators and back into the lap of his precious boss. What a prissy little kiss ass… I thought angrily before placing a hand on Roxas's shoulder and guiding him towards the staff cafeteria. Since it was only 10:30, the place was mostly vacant which worked for me.
Roxas shuffled his feet awkwardly standing in the large cafeteria before I pointed to a table in the corner and went to get us some food. I brought a tray full of food over and placed it in front of Roxas. His eyes widened, and looked up at me. "Go on, eat up! It's not all for you though, spare me a sandwich and a chip of two." I joked, but Roxas looked stunned into silence. "I didn't do anything to it, look I'll eat first to help calm ya nerves." But as I unwrapped my sandwich and took a bite, I was afraid Roxas had lost the ability to speak.
"I…I just…why are you doing all this for me?" Roxas finally managed to sputter out.
Chewing thoughtfully, contemplating my answer, I watched as Roxas finally reached out for a sandwich, and once unwrapped began shoveling it down so fast I was afraid he'd choke. As he ate, Roxas looked up at me with expectant eyes, waiting for my answer.
"I just want to help you, Roxas." I replied honestly. "There's just something about you that makes me want to do anything I can to help you out. That day I met you, you tried to tell me you could take care of yourself and seem tough, and I know you are tough to some extent to survive on these streets. But these streets are unforgiving, I used to live in a rough neighborhood and I know the kinds of people lurking around this city. I just…I don't want to see something terrible happen to you and know that I could've stopped it all from happening. And…" I bit my tongue. How crazy would I seem to him if I told Roxas how he seemed familiar to me, and that's why I couldn't get him out of my head, and why I felt drawn to help him?
"And…" He asked before taking a bite of his second sandwich.
"All right, well don't think I'm crazy or anything, but I feel like I've met you somewhere before, even though I know I haven't. There's just something so familiar about you that I can't place, and it makes me want to help you even more." Sighing, I waited for Roxas's reply. A few contemplative chews later, Roxas swallowed and replied.
"I've had people offer to help me more than just money before. I don't like to take anything but money though, because I feel like I owe people more and that just makes me feel even worse. Plus, most times when people, mostly men, offer to give me a place to stay it's for…other reasons." Roxas's voice started to sound strained, and his hand curled up on a fist on the table. "I'm so sick of being used by people just because I'm in a tough situation, and I'm sick of feeling guilty and feeling like I owe everyone something. But, when I talked to you and you gave me your gloves, you made me feel like an actual person. Not like I needed to pay you back or that you did it to get your good deeds quota filled for the day. I felt like you actually…cared about me. I felt like a normal person. And I know how you feel too...it's weird and I can't explain it, but you seem so familiar to me. It's a nice feeling, to feel like I have a friend I've known for a long time, even though I've only met you once." Suddenly, his cheeks flushed a deep red and he looked down embarrassed at his food. "S-Sorry, that probably sounded way creepier than I meant to." I shook my head, and in the most innocent way possible I reached my hand out across the table and placed in on top of his.
"No, it's not creepy. I completely understand how you feel. It's like you took the words right out of my thoughts." I chuckled, and Roxas looked up with a small smile. "But, now there's something I have to know. What happened to you, Roxas? You're all beat up, and your clothes are torn…what happened? Are you ok?" I tried to hide the extreme worry in my voice, but I knew I failed miserably.
Roxas shrugged, but I knew it was more than a simple shoulder shrug incident. "Just a little scuffle. Some kid named Seifer caught me hanging around trying to beg for money on 'his turf' and didn't like the attitude I gave him. He's a thug, and so are his friends, but I got away. I came here cause…cause they took all the money I had and I had no one else to turn to. I didn't mean for you to end up spending more money on me." He gestured to the food in front of us. "And I didn't come for more money either. I just…I've gotten myself in deeper than I've ever been before. My best friend Xion kicked me out last night cause she got some new boyfriend and couldn't have me hanging around, since her apartment was barely big enough for the two of us to begin with. And now that I've got no cash…I just…I know if I try to sleep on the streets tonight I'll freeze to death. I saw a weather report in one of those televisions on display in some electronics store and it's supposed to be below -10 degrees tonight." I saw the ebb and flow of emotions swirling in his eyes as he looked up at me with a look so desperate it nearly broke my heart. He seemed to have that effect on me. "I, I don't know what I was thinking coming to find you tough, I'm so sorry Axel. I got you in trouble with those security guards and that man you came here with, and now I'm trying to just barge into your life for favors I don't even deserve while you've done more for me than anyone ever has."
Standing so fast he bumped the table and I nearly got whiplash from looking up for quickly Roxas tried to hold back the tears welling in his eyes as he turned to hurry towards the door. "I'm so sorry Axel; please forgive me for being such an inconvenience to you. Thank you so much, for everything." Roxas turned, and all but sprinted for the door, but I didn't let him get far before racing after him and reaching out and grabbing his arm, pulling him back towards me.
As Roxas looked up at me, tears streaming down his dirt covered face and blue eyes clouded with a sadness I knew I would probably never feel so strongly. Knowing words wouldn't be enough to show that I did care about Roxas and want to help him, I pulled him into a hug, and after a few hesitant seconds he wrapped his thin arms around me and silently sobbed into my chest. I waited to speak until the sobs shaking his whole body had stopped, and when he'd calmed down enough I pulled away just enough for me to look down and tilt Roxas's face up towards mine. "Don't ever think of yourself as some kind of burden or inconvenience. That's just a load of horse shit, ok?" Roxas let out a small, sad laugh. "Like I told you before, we're friends, right? And what do friends do? They help out friends. You can come crash at my place for as long as you need to. It's plenty big for two people, and if I knew you were back out on those streets after all the shit that's happened to you, I'd hate myself for the rest of my life. We'll head over to my place as soon as I'm done working, as long as you don't mind hanging out in my office for a little bit. Sound good?"
No words seemed to come to Roxas's lips to express his feelings, so he just hugged me again, tighter and more desperate than before, and spoke a quiet but grateful thank you into my chest. I smiled, and hugged him back.
Five long hours later, helped to be less painful with Roxas keeping me company, to the distain of Saix. But when I remembered that the boss's lap dog always had a stick up his ass when it came to being near my presence, I shrugged it off.
"All right kiddo, time to clock out for the day!" I happily shouted to my blonde haired friend dozing in the corner. He jumped, startled, and I laughed before extending a hand to help him up off his chair. "Time to get the hell out of this place and back home!" Roxas smiled, nodding happily and following after me into the hallway as I put my coat on.
"So, we'll just grab a taxi to my apartment and then get you steeled in and figure out din-"
"Hey, Axel! Dipshit don't leave without me!" I winced; realizing I'd forgot an unhappy Riku, since we always left together and spent the elevator ride venting about how much we hated this place. As I turned I saw his brunette boy toy walking/bouncing happily beside him.
"Sorry man." Riku and Sora, the brunette, however, were not looking at me. Their attention was focused on Roxas, who squirmed uncomfortable next to me feeling even more out of place than before. "Oh, sorry guys, this is my friend, Roxas."
"Nice to meet you, Roxas! I'm Sora, and this is Riku, we work with Axel!" Riku glanced over at Sora with a 'really, he couldn't have possibly guessed that' look, but I assumed Riku picked Sora for reasons other than his brain. "How'd you meet Axel? He's a cool guy! Super sarcastic but you get used to it after a while, kinda. How's you get that nasty cut on your face? Are you-?"
"Down boy," Riku said with a laugh, cutting Sora off with a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Leave the poor kid alone." Roxas smiled, relieved.
"Nice to meet you both," He said with a small smile, seeming to have warmed up to the two of them. I figured meeting new people, especially ones like Sora, were a bit overwhelming here.
The four of us made our way outside into the freezing cold, and as we desperately tried to flag down a taxi, I wrapped my arm unconsciously around Roxas's shoulder to shield him from the bitter wind, but not without noting the blush creeping up into his cheeks. Riku and Sora let us have the first free taxi that pulled up, and I thanked them from the bottom of my heart.
"Bye Roxas, good to meet you! Hope we get to see you again!" Sora called out after us in his usual bubbly way, while Riku stood behind him looking at him with a smile so sincere I did a double take to make sure it was the same sarcastic, asshole I'd come to know and love.
We waved goodbye and hurried into the taxi. As we rode to my apartment, I caught Roxas looking around the car in awe. "Never been in a taxi before?" I asked, and Roxas shook his head.
"It's stupid really, but I don't even remember ever riding in a car before. Or, at least it was a really long time ago. This is kind of fun!" He smiled the biggest I'd seen since I'd met him, and I couldn't help but smile back. His smiles were contagious.
My apartment wasn't anything special in this city. It was a typical two bedroom apartment, nice but not overly frou-frou or crazy expensive looking. I mean sure, I was a single lawyer, so I had some money, but I wasn't going to start staple 100$ bills all over my walls just to prove it to other people.
"Woah!" Roxas exhaled as we walked in. "Dude, this place is so cool…" I laughed, looking around at my home. I guess I was just used to it so it didn't seem that special, but I could imagine that someone who's been living with someone in a beat up one-room apartment in a bad part of town would be impressed with this place. "Your T.V.'s bigger than me!" He shouted excitedly, as he rushed over to my living room and stood in awe in front of a television that really did tower over him. Since he was a shortie though, it wasn't that impressive, but I let him have his moment.
"I've got a pull out couch that you can stay on and I'll go grab some blankets later for you. What do ya want for dinner? I'll warn you though; I'm not much of a cook. My specialties include mac and cheese and spaghetti." Roxas laughed, happy with either.
"This is probably a really random question Axel, but how old are you?" As we sat eating dinner, I looked up from my plate of mac and cheese and saw Roxas studying my face.
"Twenty-eight in two weeks," I replied, "What are you, seventeen? Eighteen?"
"Nineteen," the blonde replied with a small pout. "Everyone always thinks I'm so young, most people guess fifteen though. Curse my youthful charms." I let out a loud laugh, and Roxas joined in.
"Hey, people would kill to look like you. Not just the youthful part either." Roxas's cheeks flared up an even brighter shade of red, and he chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.
"So this mac and cheese, it's really good! You told me you weren't a good cook!" I smirked at the completely obvious topic change, but not wanting to make Roxas feel any more uncomfortable I let to conversation flow in a new direction.
That night we stayed at the kitchen table talking about, well, everything. I learned that Roxas's favorite color was yellow, his favorite season was summer, his birthday was August 13th, he loved breakfast food, he had an older brother named Cloud, he liked dogs but couldn't stand cats, was scared of snakes, and he'd been living on the streets/with various friends and acquaintances couches since he was thirteen.
"My parents were always really poor, and when I was thirteen I moved in with my brother because they couldn't afford to support me anymore. My mom had gotten sick so she and my dad moved back home back west with her sister, but it would've been too expensive if I'd made the move too. Cloud wasn't much better off than my parents, and he would've gone broke if I'd kept living with him. So I went to live with a friend, and when I couldn't stay there anymore I moved on. It doesn't even seem like that big of a deal anymore, not having a place to call home, because I'm so used to moving around." I sat there, taking in the life story of a kid who couldn't have come from a more complete opposite life than I'd had. I felt guilty, because I'd been blessed with so much while Roxas had come from almost nothing. "Your turn," Roxas mused happily, leaning back in his chair and sipping a mug of hot cocoa I'd placed in front of him minutes before.
"Well, I lived in the suburbs twenty minutes from here my whole life, went to the university downtown for law, and got my own apartment after I got my current job about two years ago. Oh, and I have an older brother named Reno. When I was twenty-two I almost married a girl named Larxene because I thought she was the only girl I'd ever love. When we broke up with me two weeks after we got engaged that was a fun time, but hey, what's college without some crazy stories?" Roxas laughed, and I couldn't tell if it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but his laugh seemed to brighten up my apartment even at eleven thirty at night.
We talked about my favorite colors and foods and my birthday and about my psycho ex-girlfriend from high school and a guy who once put a handful of buttons in Roxas's metal cup and wouldn't stop talking to him about how aliens were coming for us all soon until my eyelids were starting to feel incredibly heavy. As Roxas's story was interrupted by his need to let out a violent yawn I suggested we call it a night.
I gathered a few blankets and fixed the couch as Roxas took a shower, something he was more grateful for than I'd ever seen a person be about a shower. Since Roxas didn't have any other clothes, I lent him a pair of basketball shorts and the smallest t-shirt I could find, both looking ridiculous and oversized on his tiny frame when he came out of the bathroom with wet droopy blonde spikes. I helped Roxas settled into his makeshift bed, and waited until he was tucked away and almost asleep before I moved to go to my own room, fingers poised on the light switch. "Goodnight, Roxy." I whispered. "Sweet dreams."
"G'night Ax…" Roxas mumbled sleepily, a smile spread on his lips as he drifted off to sleep. I flipped the lights off, but lingered for a moment in the living room. The moonlight shown in through the window and danced in Roxas's golden hair and captivated me with its beauty in such a way that I found myself paralyzed. Roxas was like some kind of drug, I'd only had a small dose of him but I was hooked.
As I changed into just my boxers and climbed into my own bed, I couldn't get Roxas off my mind enough to let sleep overtake me. I'd been so tired before, but now as I lay staring at the ceiling, thoughts of blue eyes and a laugh that danced through the air kept me awake. Just as I was about to give up on sleeping and turn my light on to find my laptop, I heard a soft knocking at my door. "Roxas? Come in." I called softly, as my door open and a blonde head poked inside timidly. "What's wrong?" I could hear the worry in my voice, and cursed myself for sounding like a protective mother.
"I-I just can't sleep, and I was…I was wondering if…never mind, it's stupid. Sorry I woke you up." He quickly darted back out of my room, but a call from me had him reappearing in seconds.
"Don't worry, I couldn't sleep either. I've been up for a while. What'd you want to ask me, I promise I won't think it's stupid." I smiled, and he visibly relaxed, but as he went to speak, moving farther into my darkened room, I could see him tense as he stopped a few feet from my bed.
"…..doyouthinkicouldstaywithyou?" Roxas mumbled so fast I could barely understand a word he said.
"Listen Roxy, I know it's late and maybe I really am that tired but all I heard was gibberish. Speak slower." I laughed at the end, but from what I thought I'd heard escape the blonde's lips, I waited eagerly for his question.
"….Do you think, I mean, would it be ok with you if I…stayed in here, with you? I just, I can't sleep." He sounded so broken at the end, I restrained myself from jumping at the kid and hugging him until he felt happy again.
"Of course, Roxy," I replied with a smile pealing back my covers and making a spot for him. He smiled, happiness showing even in the darkness in those deep blue eyes. Roxas climbed in beside me and pulled the blankets over him, and placed his head softly on the pillows, sighing with a smile on his lips.
"This is probably really girly and stupid to say, but since it's three in the morning I'll blame it on the sleep deprivation. I just…thank you Axel, for everything. I've never felt so wanted so…cared for in longer than I can remember. So, thanks." Roxas's smile melted my heart, and I pulled him closed to me, regarding the blush quickly blossoming on his cheeks with a small smirk.
"You don't have to thank me Roxy. Thank you for being yourself. There's something about you that makes my life seem so much more…meaningful when I'm around you. I don't know what it is about you kid, but there's something about you brightens up my life, my existence. You put the light in me." Roxas's eyes widened, and though I didn't know where those words had come from, they felt right. Like I was telling them to an old friend….someone I…no, it was too soon for that. But definitely someone I cared about more than I'd ever cared about someone else before. Someone that someday, I could say those three words to.
"Remember when you told me you felt like you'd known me for a lot longer?" I nodded, waiting for his response. "I believe in destiny. I don't think you would've ever kicked my coffee cup and met me and walked to work that day if it wasn't for destiny. This…this is probably stupid, but I feel like I was destined to meet you. I feel like I've known you for so much longer than a couple days. I've never met someone and been so connected to them in such a little amount of time and…it kinda scares me." Roxas looked at me, with the same expression he had back when I'd first met him on the street and taken my gloves. Those emotions I could read now were fear and confusion and a third emotion I couldn't quite name. But it made me feel safe and warm and loved, so I figured it couldn't be bad.
"Maybe," I joked, "we were friends in a past life." Roxas smiled, and nodded.
"Best friends, probably. At least, that what it feels like to me." I nodded, and in that moment I was so captivated in Roxas's beauty and his maturity and his whole self that I couldn't stop myself from being pulled closer to him.
Our lips met halfway, and I felt his hand rest in my bed-crazed hair as I placed a gentle hand on his cheek and pulled him closer to me. His lips were chapped from the cold weather, but warm and needing, and I pressed closer to him unable to deny his want. After what seemed like eternity rolled into a few seconds, I pulled away first, looking into a blue I'd come to love.
"I'm not going to push this too far. I won't ruin what may be the best thing that's ever come into my life in one night." Roxas smiled wide and gave a blissful nod in agreement. Leaning in, I placed a small kiss on Roxas's forehead and pulled him in close, his thin frame warm against me. It was impossible to believe that something that felt so natural had developed in such a short period of time. But, I wasn't complaining about it, and as Roxas curled up close to me, a smile playing across his sleeping feature, I knew he wasn't either.
"Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home"
~Phillip Phillips
:: Wow, so this took a week and five pages longer than I ever planned, but I think it all worked out in the end for the better! Please read and review and let me know what you think! I love feedback; I'd never get the chance to be a better writer without it! Thanks, luv ya'll! ::