Invitation
The month that followed the accident was, as I expected it to be, excruciatingly long and very painful.
I knew that I had no choice but to ignore Bella now. I'd already put her in enough danger and I couldn't risk adding another reason to take her life. It would be too difficult to win that fight with my family, and I didn't think I could cause that kind of tension again. I had put them through enough because of this new girl and I didn't want to make it worse. This was my problem after all. Bella was most appealing to me and I had chosen to keep her alive.
Every day, she sat only a few feet away from me, her scent radiating from her, hitting me just as hard as that first day.
And, with the girls' choice dance coming up, every boy in this school's thoughts were on Bella. They were all wondering if she had asked someone, all wishing that they had a chance. Mike Newton especially. Ever since Jessica Stanley had asked him, he had been trying to formulate the perfect way to get Bella to ask him instead. And because I can't read her mind, I was just as ignorant as the rest of them as to what her answer would be.
It was really starting to drive me insane. Why couldn't I read her mind? Her thoughts are the ones that I wanted most to hear. But, each time I tried to listen to her mind, the more frustrated at the silence I became.
I tried again as Bella entered the Biology classroom with Mike and I immediately caught Mike's thoughts instead. He was extremely uncomfortable, as he prepared himself for the topic.
Bella walked past me to her seat and I caught a whiff of her scent. I balled my hands up into fists as I tried desperately not to show how aware of her I actually was.
Mike lingered by her chair, looking down at the floor.
"So," Mike said, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance." I waited for Bella's reaction, strangely tense.
"That's great," her voice sounding surprisingly enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."
She's not disappointed, Mike thought, obviously upset with Bella's reaction.
"Well…" he floundered, trying desperately to not embarrass himself. I was repressing a grin. "I told her I had to think about it."
"Why would you do that?" Bella answered, disapproval coloring her tone. For reasons, I couldn't explain, her reaction was pleasing me.
She's not happy, Mike thought, his face getting hot. Maybe she's really not interested in me. Oh well. I've got to try.
"I was wondering if…well, if you might be planning to ask me."
She didn't answer right away, and I was starting to get anxious. I wasn't exactly sure why this conversation was making me feel this way, but I couldn't concentrate on anything else and I was starting to lose my composure at her silence. My head tilted towards her fractionally.
"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," Bella finally answered.
"Did you already ask someone?" His head tilted towards her just now. But, they barely talk anymore! She couldn't have…I would have heard…noticed, Mike thought.
Bella answered quickly this time, to my relief. Not being able to read her mind was proving to be more of a curse with each passing moment.
"No," she told him. "I'm not going to the dance at all."
"Why not?" Mike demanded.
"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday."
"Can't you go some other weekend?" Mike begged, his hopes dwindling. Can't you see that I want to go with you, Mike pleaded subconsciously with Bella.
"Sorry no," she said, and for some reason, I felt elated. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer -- it's rude."
"Yeah, you're right," Mike mumbled, as he turned to make his way to his seat.
I'd better call Jessica, he thought, making a mental note to himself. He kept up with the mental notes but I wasn't paying attention.
I couldn't believe what I was feeling. She had refused him. So what? Why was I all of a sudden fighting back a huge smile? It shouldn't mean anything at all to me that she does not like Mike.
Well, I don't know if that's true. She could like him. Her refusal may only have been for the sake of her friend.
I looked over at her. She had her eyes closed, as she massaged her temples. Ugh, why couldn't I read her mind?! She opened her eyes and noticed me staring. She stared back at me. Still trying to read her mind, I continued to hold her gaze. Still silence.
"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner's voice cut into my vain attempts. I listened to his thoughts for the answer to the question I'd missed. The Krebs Cycle. But, I bet he didn't hear the question. That Swan girl is always distracting the boys in this class, Mr. Banner complained. That Newton kid is absorbed by her, too…
I turned away from Bella as I said the answer. All through the hour, I couldn't keep her out of my thoughts. I tried desperately to convince myself that it doesn't matter that she turned down Mike. Or that it would not have mattered if she hadn't. But, I couldn't shake the thoughts or the feelings that clouded my better judgment.
The bell rang and she turned away from me to gather her books.
"Bella?" I said. She turned slowly, probably wondering why I was talking to her. I just looked at her.
"What? Are you speaking to me again?" There was a hint of petulance in her tone that made me want to smile.
"No, not really," I admitted, my lips twitching.
She closed her eyes and I heard her take a deep breath. "Then what do you want Edward?" she asked, eyes still closed.
"I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way really."
She opened her eyes. Her voice was guarded. "I don't know what you mean."
"It's better if we're not friends," I explained. "Trust me."
Bella's eyes narrowed. "It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she hissed through her teeth. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."
I had no idea what she was talking about. Doesn't she understand? Can't she sense that I'm dangerous?
"Regret?" my tone giving away my surprise. "Regret for what?"
"For not just letting that stupid van squish me."
I was astonished. I couldn't believe that she really thought that I regretted saving her life. She must obviously not realize how much I… Well, I didn't know exactly what I felt. But, how could she think that I wanted her dead? After how much I wanted to protect her, how could anyone think that?
By the time I spoke, I was angry. "You think I regret saving your life?"
"I know you do," she snapped.
"You don't know anything."
She turned her head away and quickly gathered her books. When she got to the door, her boot caught in the doorjamb and she dropped her books. I quickly jumped up from my seat and went over to help her. By the time she had bent down to pick them up, I had already stacked her things into a pile. I handed them to her, my face still hard.
"Thank you, "she said icily.
I narrowed my eyes. "You're welcome," I replied with just as much petulance.
Since all hope of distraction was lost for the rest of the day, all through seventh period I just let my mind wander, listening to any thought that had Bella in it. I hadn't figured out what I'm going to do about her, but I couldn't continue to sit next to her and ignore her.
When the final bell rang, the best plan I thought of was asking Mr. Banner for a seat change. Shaking my head at the obvious insanity of my situation, I headed to the parking lot.
I hope she says yes, I heard Eric Yorkie's thoughts coming from the direction of Bella's truck. As I got closer, I saw Bella heading towards the red Chevy.
"Hey, Eric," I heard her call.
"Hi, Bella," Eric returned, his voice giving away how uncomfortable he was.
"What's up?" she asked, seemingly completely unaware of what was coming as she unlocked the door of her truck.
"Uh, I was just wondering…if you would go the spring dance with me?"
"I thought it was girls' choice," Bella asked, obviously startled at the turn in the conversation.
"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefaced.
Bella smiled, and I was suddenly extremely alert.
"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."
I relaxed.
"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."
"Sure," Bella said, politely.
Stupid Mike Newton, Eric thought as he slouched off. I bet he got to her first and Bella was just being polite. He already has half the girls after him. Why can't he leave Bella alone?
And then I heard Tyler Crowley's thoughts coming from inside his new Sentra. Well, now here's my chance. Maybe she was letting Mike down easy and she isn't going to Seattle. Only one way to find out…
I walked past Bella's truck chuckling quietly. I heard Bella slam her truck's door closed and I quickened my pace. If I could trap her here a little longer, I would get to hear her reaction to another interested suitor.
Bella was pulling out of her space, but I was quicker. As she pulled up a little further, I was already in my car. I pulled out smoothly, cutting her off. I saw Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett walking this way and I waited, anxious to hear Bella's reaction when Tyler asked her to the dance.
I was staring at Bella through my side mirror. She seemed determined to not look my way, as Tyler got out of his car and came over to the passenger side of her truck. He knocked on her window. Confused, Bella leaned over to open the window to talk to him.
"I'm sorry, Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen." She was annoyed. I smirked.
"Oh, I know -- I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." Tyler grinned. "Will you ask me to the spring dance?"
Her voice came out sharp, and I chuckled. "I'm not going to be in town, Tyler."
"Yeah, Mike said that," he admitted.
"Then why --"
Tyler shrugged. "I was hoping you were letting him down easy."
She was definitely irritated now and it was amusing. "Sorry, Tyler. I really am going out of town."
"That's cool. We still have prom." Tyler walked back to his car before Bella could say anything else. I was laughing, trying to block out the relief I was feeling. I tried again to convince myself that it didn't matter that she turned all of her admirers down. It shouldn't matter.
Bella's eyes glanced at my side mirror and I saw them narrow, as she noticed my laughter. At that moment, my family got into the car and I stepped on the accelerator, speeding away.
"What's so funny, Edward?" Emmett asked, annoyed that he wasn't in on the joke.
Probably about the stupid human girl again, I heard Rosalie think. I frowned. She was right, of course, but it still annoyed me, her obvious hatred of Bella.
"Nothing, really. Just something I found amusing," I answered Emmett, not wanting to infuriate Rosalie more.
Alice looked at me from the passenger seat. Is she going to the dance, Alice asked me with her thoughts. Still looking at the road, I slowly moved my head from side to side. What are you going to do about her? I moved my shoulders up slowly, trying to be discreet with my shrugging.
Alice peered into the immediate future and surprised me. She saw Bella and me walking together into school one morning. Apparently, you're not ignoring her anymore, Alice thought.
I pressed my lips into a line.
We were already pulling into our driveway, when Jasper spoke. "Edward, I think we should go hunting again tonight. It's getting progressively more difficult for me to go to school these days, and I don't want to take any unnecessary chances." Especially not when that Bella Swan girl is there, he thought, not realizing I was listening.
Apparently, Bella's blood was incredibly tempting to all vampires. Even though, for me, she was much more potent.
"Sure, Jasper. That's probably a good idea. Anybody else want to join us?" I asked the rest of my family.
"Alright," Alice said.
"Sure!" Emmett exclaimed, always enthusiastic about hunting.
"No." Rosalie's answer was short and cold. I'm not going hunting just to protect that human girl. Why is she so important, anyway? Rosalie's thoughts were just cold.
"Okay. But, if you change your mind, Rose, feel free to join us," Emmett told her.
It was early evening when we set out. Staying close to Forks, we all separated looking for prey. It didn't take us long to find food, and soon Alice called out to us.
"We all finished?"
"Pretty much, yeah," I heard Emmett's voice coming from somewhere in the trees.
I saw Jasper's figure run past me as he made his way to Alice. "I'm done," he said, as he approached. I was already standing next to Alice, when I decided that I didn't want to return to the house just yet. I needed some alone time to think, and being in a house full of people whose thoughts I was very attuned to wasn't going to be ideal.
"You know, I think I'm just going to take a walk," I said, mostly speaking to Alice.
"Uhm, alright. See you later, then," Alice waved, noticing that I didn't want any company.
As they raced back to the house, I continued in the opposite direction. I wasn't entirely sure where I was headed. All I knew was that I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
I wandered through the woods at somewhat of a human pace, finding my bearings. In the distance, I heard an owl hoot and a car make it's way slowly along the road. Following that sound, I made my way towards the road. It would be easier to walk on pavement.
I followed the winding road, not realizing where I was going. My thoughts were filled with confusion and indecision. I still didn't know what I was going to do about Bella. I couldn't continue going to school and ignoring her. That plan wasn't working. But, I didn't want to put her in any more danger. Than she already was, that is. I had already made that mistake and I wasn't going to duplicate it.
So, why was I feeling strangely morose as I thought about having to leave again?
Staying here was only making my fears more plausible. But, whenever I thought of leaving, something inside my being ached. I didn't quite understand what I was feeling and it pulled me deeper into my subconscious.
I lost track of time and location, and I didn't realize at first when I was no longer walking on pavement. I came back to reality when I heard voices.
"Are you going all by yourself?" I recognized Chief Swan's rough voice. I was outside the Swan's house. Hm, I wondered how I ended up here, I thought, surprised that my feet had seemed to echo what I had been dwelling on throughout my entire walk.
She could get herself into trouble, the chief thought, worrying about his only daughter.
"Yes." I heard Bella respond. Her voice always made me feel better, like I had been suffering before she would speak. Right now was no exception. I tried not to think about what that implied.
"Seattle is a big city -- you could get lost," Charlie Swan fretted.
"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle -- and I can read a map, don't worry about it."
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.
"That's all right, Dad. I'll probably just be in dressing rooms all day -- very boring."
"Oh, okay." That couldn't be much fun, thought Charlie. I struggled to hide a chuckle.
"Thanks." I could hear a smile in Bella's voice and part of me longed to peek into the window to see that smile.
"Will you be back in time for the dance?" Charlie asked. This reminded me of the events of the day.
What was wrong with me? All of these strange emotions I had been experiencing ever since this new girl came to town have all been new to me and I still hadn't been able to quite figure out what they were.
"No -- I don't dance, Dad," Bella explained. Probably a good idea, as I had seen the extent of her clumsiness.
"Oh, that's right." Apparently, so did her father.
They quickly finished up and I heard Bella start the dishes. I moseyed around their house, looking around. The grass was plush and damp as it squished beneath my feet. The faint drizzle soaking through my hair was starting to moisten the back of my neck.
Occasionally, Charlie's thoughts would break through my observations. I hope she finds her place somewhere here, Charlie hoped, worried about Bella. She always seems so removed. And I know how much she doesn't like the cold. Or wet. I wonder why she moved here.
I sat down on the grass as I waited for both Bella and Charlie to go to sleep. I heard snores coming from the direction of what I assumed was Charlie's bedroom, and I decided it was safe to get closer to the house.
As I approached the front of the house, I heard faint murmurs. Bella was talking in her sleep.
"No," she said. "Mom, don't!"
Curious, I walked up to her window. I gauged the distance from the front lawn where I was standing to the window, and then I jumped, sweeping effortlessly into Bella's room.
There she lay, innocent and motionless, eyes fluttering. She turned over in her bed and her delicious scent came wafting in a huge cloud over my face. I froze. This was so ridiculously stupid. Why was I in her room? Here, with no witnesses, I could so easily take the life of this weak, defenseless, delicious human and there would be nothing to stop me.
This was exactly what I have been trying to avoid. This was exactly why I was trying so desperately to ignore her. This was exactly the kind of situation that I knew would be so hard to beat.
But, that was exactly why I had come. This girl fascinated me in a way that no one ever had before. She never did what I expected her to do, and I just couldn't keep myself -- or my thoughts -- from her.
It also didn't help that I still couldn't read her mind. Even now, as I watched her eyelids flutter now and then, no whisper of a sound came from her mind. And I so desperately wanted to know what she was dreaming. It was becoming less of just an inconvenience now, and if the strange emotions don't compel me to break this trend, my desire to know her thoughts certainly will.
Oh, but how could I risk her safety! Just because for some odd reason that I can't fathom, I can't leave her alone, I was entertaining plans that would no doubt put her in harms way. Especially right at that moment. There, she lay, sleeping and completely helpless. And me, standing here, not dying of thirst, but certainly thirsty enough, and her being as delicious as always…
No. I had to leave now. I couldn't do this anymore. No matter what personal pain this may cause me, I must leave this town. At least until she leaves. Then I could return and finish out this lifetime. And soon I would have to move again with my family and start all over again. I wouldn't ever forget Bella Swan -- a curse that I held because of what I am -- but, I could find adequate distractions. Distractions was always a solution.
"Green. Everything green," Bella still murmured. "It's too green."
I chuckled quietly. This girl never failed to amuse me. Obviously, she still wasn't used to her surroundings.
"I don't dance! I won't go!" Bella called out in her sleep again.
My mouth formed a tight line as I remembered the events of the day again. And for the second time today, I felt the strange and very strong emotion begin to grow in my chest. If I left, I would never hear Bella's reactions to anyone who had interest in her. The prom would be coming up. What if Mike asked her again? Would she still refuse him just as she did this time? Or would she choose to go with Tyler, who was quite obviously going to try?
But, as I continued with my struggle between what I knew I should do, and what I wanted, I heard Bella say something that made me stop my inward battles.
"Edward," said Bella. I froze. Had she woken? But, I had been so quiet.
I turned to look at her. Her eyes were still closed. "Edward," she said again, more softly, as she turned over.
The feeling that coursed through me as she said my name was unnerving and staggering.
Bella was dreaming of me.
This girl certainly was a mystery to me. I unfroze and turned my head to look at her sleeping figure once more. She was mumbling incoherently and I only caught a few words. But, I was preoccupied.
She was dreaming of me.
How odd this was turning out to be! Here, I couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how much I tried, and all the while Bella Swan is dreaming about me. I pondered on that for a few more moments as I made my way back to her window. The sun was coming up and the night was almost over. I had been gone longer than I'd planned.
I turned back to look at her once more and then I jumped out and onto the front lawn, quietly and gracefully. I landed on the plushy green grass and let my feet take me back home.
I wasn't sure exactly what this meant. All I knew was that I couldn't ignore her any longer. Bella Swan had captured my attention for good this time.