A.N:
Every Tuesday my Reading class has a homework assignment to write a short story to read orally using the subject that was assigned. Our assignment a few weeks ago was:
"You and your best friend go for a walk and take a shortcut down an abandoned dirt road
The road is completely void of life, no cars, no people, no houses or trees and completely still. All of a sudden a black shiny Limo appears and orders you to get in, you enter the Limo and you see…"
Pretty nifty huh? Well I use our creative journals to do 1 thing: Insult Ricky Martin, Nsync, Britney Spears and others! Enjoy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"
I'm bored" my best friend Nameless announced one Saturday afternoon. Due to a recent mass murder in the area in which everyone is a suspect we were told to stay inside and watch PBS. " I have an idea," I said, " Let's take a walk." " But what about the recent mass murder in which everyone is a suspect?" Nameless asked me " Don't worry 'Less we can bring Lester the Hamster. So off we went Hamster in handWe walked for a few hours until we were sick off many people trying to hit us with their cars and that's when we noticed the abandoned dirt road " Hey let's take a shortcut down that abandoned dirt road" I suggested. Nameless of course asked once again "What about the recent mass murder in which everyone is a suspect?" Looking down I noticed that there were two Hockey sticks conveniently placed on the ground before us " Here take this" I said handing one of the other Hockey sticks to Nameless. Once again we set off Hockey sticks in hand.
Halfway down the road we heard a sound behind us; I turned around to find a black Limo parked next to us. The doors of the Limo opened
get in a small voice commanded us. "Why?" I asked." cause I have Nsync tickets " "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We screamed " THE FREAKS THE FREAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!" "OK, OK, what about Britney Spears" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ANTI CHRIST!! THE ANTI CHRIST!!! SAVE US ALL!!!!!!!" we yelled causing nearby ears to bleed. "what about the backstreet boys" Nameless and I jumped into the open Limo, inside we found…(da da dum)…. a tape recorder and 5 front row tickets to a backstreet Boys concert. Nameless pressed "play" on he tape recorder and a voice said " Your mission if you chose to except it is find the Mass murderer and bring me a mocha, if you survive you will be rewarded handsomely, this message will self -destruct in 30 sec. Have a nice day J "" Lets go" I said and the Limo began driving off. Tour Guide Barbie
© appeared suddenly " I'm tour guide Barbie" she said " I'll take you were you need to go on this mission… Oh how cute a Hamster she said noticing Lester" While Tour Guide Barbie © petted a very happy Lester the Limo drove through town not stopping for pedestrians.The Limo finally stopped at a giant plot hole " wow, that is one big ol' plot hole" Nameless said stopping to look inside " yep, I wouldn't like to fall down that.." I was interrupted by a scream" Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"
"OH MY GOD THEY KILLED NAMELESS THOSE.."
"I'm not dead yet" a small voice called from the plot hole interrupted Lester " I was pushed by…" "Livin La Vida Loca" began playing along with "Tearin' Up My Heart" and "Hit me Baby One more Time." I felt an intense pain in my ears as the lipped synced songs began playing and I knew my worst fear had come true…Wanna-be's! (gulp) I turned around to face what terror surely lay before me.Ricky Martin stood before me with Nsync and Britney Spears behind him. " Yes it is I, Ricky. I wear tight pants, dance like a hormone charged iguana, and shake my bon-bon quite nicely" He said bringing out his mirror to check and see if his butt was still nice and tight. Justin, the gayest of all Nsync came forward wearing what he usually wears of stage, a purple dress and leather pants, his lips were covered in Pink lipstick and his blonde hair was faker looking then ever." We are Nsync, we were tight pants, makeup and spend our days trying to sing. I have married Ricky and joined him on his crusade for world domination." Justin said in his high squeaky voice. He returned behind Ricky with the rest of Nsync. " I'm Britney," The scariest of all Britney Spears said "I'm actually a 40 yr. Old man who has retired from his carrier as a postal worker to become a pop star with implants. I'm actually a giant blob of cillicone that wonders why I don't look good in designer clothes that starving children in china made for pennies a piece I enjoy.." after Britney telling us things we cannot repeat in a PG fic she to returned to her place. " you're the mass murderers aren't you" I said shaking from fright "you killed those people" "HA HA" Ricky laughed " Of course who else could do something so dumb" Lester came up behind him and whispering " hamster prism power" He became Hamster Moon. Using his Hamster Tiara Power he destroyed Ricky, and pushed the rest of the Wanna-be's down the plot hole. The world was saved once again thanks to Hamster Moon and the Wanna-be's were never again seen… at least until the sequel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
liked it, hated it?? Is it just that awful???, tell me, please review this!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~