Question, Let Us Just Keep It as Question

Summary: The past, it was filled with question. And I really did live in the past.

Disclaimer: Not mine! The character, the manga, the novel, the everything, they are not mine. The plot of this story is mine, though.

When I thought you would be mad at me

You just smiled, though it was cold

But I knew, you smiled at me

Not to anyone else

"I'm so sorry Seiryuu, I don't know what else to do, so I killed the demon without taking your earring it gulped..." I still apologized to him. It was almost dawn, it had been all night long we searched around the grass, the snow, the river, but we couldn't find that small earing. "I'm sorry..." I kept apologizing. That earring is the only thing that could remind him of his time as a human a long time ago.

"Nah, it's okay. I didn't use it properly, so it fell when I was running, and there, the demon ate it. Besides, I still have the left one at home," he stopped searching and smiled at me. His smile, it was as cold as that night. But it was fine, I liked when he smiled the most. "Hm... the snow is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" he asked me and looked into the sky.

"Ha? Ah, yes.. it is..." I didn't know what he was thinking that time.

"Let's go home. It's cold here," he said while walking closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. Though I didn't want to go home yet, I nodded. But then he said again, "on the second thought, it's not that cold. Can I stay like this for a moment?"

I nodded again. And I knew, at my neck where he pressed his lips, he smiled.

When I thought you would be disappointed

You just sighed... like wanting to scold a little child

But then you said, 'you've done your best, it's okay'

And walked while patting my head

Though I wasn't a little child anymore

I liked the way you pat my head

It felt like forgiveness

I failed to protect our master. Seimei was hurt and he might not be able to walk for a few days. Seiryuu sat in front of me, leaning to the wall. I knew he was disappointed. They said I was the strongest, but I failed. And he might hate me for this.

He took a deep breath, and sighed. A scowl was right on his face. Great, he would hate me. "Hey... why are you so tense?" he asked me.

"Aren't you going to mad at me?" I asked back.

He walked to me, raising his hand, and I closed me eyes in anticipation. But the pain I thought would come never really came, instead it was his hand on my head. "What? I can't do this? What if I want to? I always wanted to do this from two months ago..."

"You don't... hate me?" I asked again, still too afraid to the reality.

"You've done your best, it's okay, I can't mad at you if he doesn't let me."

When I thought you would turn away

You still stood there, waiting for me

Whether I would stop you or let you go

With those cold eyes which I adored so much

"Do I really have to turn away so I know you would stop me or not?!" he scold me. I stuttered like a statue.

It was really just a joke, I didn't mean to make him angry, yet I did. I waited. He walked further... and further...

One second...

Two second...

Three second... he stopped and stared at me from afar. He just stood there, and walked backward slowly.

"Stop!" I demanded him. He didn't, he kept walking. And before I knew, I went running after him and clung to him so tight, I didn't think he could breathe. "Don't go, please, don't turn around..." I might be started to cry tearless back there. But his voice was calming me.

And he said, "so you really went after me and tried to stop me, after all..."

When I hurt you, I thought you would hurt me as well

But you said those comforting words, 'I love you'

Then letting it all gone, like it was never happened

And you would smiled softly at me

With that smile only for me

"I'm confused now! I want to be alone! Why can't you just listen to me this once?!" I screamed at him. I was in a state of an utter confusion. But then, I was back in the reality. I hurt him, and he seemed so hurt. I didn't mean it. I was just... no... I hurt him.

I fell on my knees, and the tears flowed from my eyes. How much decades I hadn't been crying like this? It was a long long time ago, and now I was crying, with the tears and all.

He still on his feet. He would hurt me too for hurting him so much. I couldn't even dare myself to imagine this.

"I love you... how am I supposed to help you from your confusion if you keep refusing me like that?" his voice was calming me. The next thing I knew, he was kissing my eyelids with his fingers tangled with mine. "Hey... let me help you, okay? I can't stand to see you like this."

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered.

"It's fine, no harm was caused..." was his answer.

And then, I was laying on my back with him pinning me between the floor and himself. "Seiryuu?" I called him.

"But you can't just escape from the punishment. How about this... hmm... I'm on top again tonight?" he smirked. My face was all burned when he said that.

"Hey... how about that? Agree?" he was all excited with this.

"That's not fair! You were on top for the last three weeks," I tried to complain, but he silenced me with his lips.

"Can I?"

And I nodded.

But why? Why now?

Why did you change? Since when did you change?

Why when I thought you would forgive me,

You swore to kill me instead?

"Touda... you broke our rule! How could you do that?!" he was attacking me. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to, right? If I refuse to attack him, I would be dead. I was so selfish. But who didn't want to be selfish?

I kept dodging his attacks, trying to beat him without hurting him. I knew I couldn't, but that was how selfish was, right? A desire toward two opposite things at once. And I was selfish.

When something warm was soaking my hand, I realized that my hand went through his chest. He choked out blood, and as he fell down, I caught him. He was too weak to stand, but he kept struggling and tried to get out from my arms. When he was out of strength, he was all quite. He murmured something. "I swear... I am the one... who will kill you..." then his eyes, those blue cold orbs I admired so much, was closed.

And with that, I knew one more thing, I did not only break the rule, but also his heart. I break both the rule and his heart.

It was the last coherent thing I could think about before everything was all black and only blank.

_End_

Maybe a little treat will lighten up my day? Review, whatever they might be (I can accept flame too!), are very, very, very appreciated!