Title: Traces
Prompt/Theme: day 13/shatter
A/N: There is character-death in this, as a warning.
I wish I could make this more emotional to match what I'm writing, but I suppose I need to practice that.
Summary: They break and come together as a team.
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...
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She stands in front of the stone, her lips mouthing what her fingers refuse to trace.
-x-
Naruto doesn't remember how many weeks it has been. It might be a month. It might only be a day. Time stretched and shrunk, and he doesn't know if this is worse than last time. You can't really compare two people, can't compare their worth or value or how much they mean to you. Can't compare what it means when they die on you.
All that he knows is that something hurts and it won't be better again. Not for a long time. He doesn't think Iruka can help this time, can't break a popsicle and say a few words and think that's enough.
Something in him froze and he doesn't know how long it will be till he's thawed.
-x-
There was no funeral. A war was going on, is still going on, and they didn't have time to do more than dig a shallow ditch and place a rock to note the spot. Later, if there was a later, they'd come back and find the body.
Sasuke didn't help, just stood there and clenched his fist as they showered dirt into the hole. Sakura didn't have the heart to make him bury another person and Naruto was too far gone to notice.
So they dug instead, with chakra-induced hands and blurred sight, until Sasuke muttered, "Enough."
The dirt took half as long to put back in.
-x-
Sakura isn't sure who found Kakashi first. It might have been Sasuke. It might have been Naruto.
It might have been her, might have been her eyes that saw his shallow breathing, the tears in his skin, the eyes that slowly fluttered close. It doesn't matter either way, she still sees the scene in her sleep, just as Naruto walks through it in the day.
And Sasuke, he has another ghost to add to his collection, one more person he failed to save.
-x-
"We should say something." She feels oddly calm, rational.
It's shock, she knows.
"...wha..." Naruto, for once, is having difficulty stringing together a sentence. But no, this happened when Jirayia died too, after the anger and the doubt. His eyes remain trained on the misplaced dirt.
Sasuke doesn't speak, just kneels and presses his hand against the dirt. Pebbles slip out of his fist as he rubs the grains between his fingers.
In the end, the eulogy is one given in silence.
-x-
There is no one else nearby, so she painstakingly cuts the nerves in his eyes, the muscles in his arms. Takes him apart as though he is just any other body, as though he is just a body. She starts a pile beside her, of eyes and skin and chunks of flesh.
"What are you doing?" Naruto's voice rises as he speaks and this is the anger that she'd been waiting for.
"It's so no one can steal—"
"That's his body," he snarls, body feral and wild. There is still a battle going around them and they can't relax even as they do this. "That's his body and you're—"
"Naruto," Sasuke speaks and she doesn't know yet but it will be a while before she hears his voice again. It's strained at the moment. "Don't."
She zones them out as she continues, ignoring the escalated voices. This is something she can do, since she has to do.
(She couldn't save him and this knowledge echoes in her.)
She carefully grafts together his skin once more, his blood sticky on her hands. It was warm before but it's cooling rapidly in the air and drying on her hair, her shirt, her.
Before she's done, she moves behind a bush and vomits.
-x-
There is a war being fought and that is how they explain the sudden avoidance. Naruto is too busy fighting in the front and Sakura is too busy healing and Sasuke...Sasuke was never one to want to meet anyways.
They don't have time to meet anymore, to eat meals and practice and walk around, relaxed, together.
Naruto has to protect everyone.
(Naruto remembers seeing Kakashi surrounded, remembers fighting and punching and clawing his way through his own opponents. Remembers taking too long, remembers hearing the sharp cry in the air.)
Sasuke has to be stronger, faster, better.
(Sasuke remembers running, remembers legs sprinting faster and faster against the ground as he pushed past everyone, friend and foe alike. Remembers being too slow, remembers seeing a yellow blur beside him as he made his way.)
Sakura has to save as many as she can.
(Sakura remembers his body slowly getting cold, remembers his breath against her fingers and his tired smile. Remembers pushing chakra and not having enough and thinking with a panicked mind, "Oh, that's his face without the mask." )
And between that there is no time.
(and they weren't enough.)
-x-
Naruto wakes up to the sun shining on his face. Kakashi was his latest on days like these, appearing mid-noon and eyes crinkling at the sight of the three of them sweating.
He takes a walk, past the memorial, past the shops. Just walks and walks until the sun is sinking and the sky is dark.
He's on the street when he bumps into Iruka.
"Naruto..." His voice dies, a worried look crossing his face, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's late, have you eaten yet?"
"...no."
"Ah...um...we could eat at Ichriuki's."
He thinks about refusing, about just turning around and walking back. But Iruka's hand is warm and heavy and his stomach is grumbling for the first time in days.
-x-
Sasuke has dealt with enough death that one more doesn't matter.
(But that's not true. He still dreams and breaks, just hides it better, deeper. He knows how to keep walking when he doesn't want to.
And he knows that of all of them, he will be the only one who hasn't recovered.)
-x-
Sasuke meets her, as she stands in front of the stone, tracing his name. It's quiet and her mouth moves in wordless prayers.
"He should have come back." It isn't her fault, she knows. It isn't anyone's.
Guilt runs through her anyways.
He says nothing, just lets Sakura lean against him and shudder violently as she lets go of everything.
-x-
The bridge is strangely quiet as they move. There are whispers, in the reeds, memories of water fights and grumbling stomachs.
They move, without a word, the only sound made is the scraping of their shovel. They take turns, using only one shovel and no chakra, and it is mid-morning by the time they're done.
Gently, very gentle, Sakura lowers Kakashi to Naruto's waiting arms, Sasuke aiding the descent.
They leave the grave unmarked, carefully shielding it from the world with a transplanted bush.
Naruto's the first to break the silence, a weak smile covering his face. "Now he'll never be late."
It's stupid and unneeded and Sakura can't control her laughter, as pained as it sounds. Naruto joins in, almost too loud, and Sasuke gives a quiet snort.
(And when that laughter turns into tears, they know they'll be okay.)
-x-
Sometimes you have to shatter before you can be whole again.