I know that I've had three years to write Blitzstone fanfiction since The Sword of Summer came out, and believe me, there are word documents all over my computer with, like, three sentences each inside. But this week I was seized by this sudden petrifying fear of HOLY SMOKES I MUST WRITE BLITZSTONE FANFICTION IN CASE UNCLE RICK DOESN'T MAKE IT CANNON IN SHIP OF THE DEAD. So here I am.
Two disclaimers:
1) I understand that ASL has a different sentence structure than English. To make things easier for readers, and because I'm only an ASL student myself, anything said in ASL in this story is italicized to show that it's an English translation of what Hearthstone and Blitzen would actually say.
2) I probably confused Celtic and Norse magical practises here, so do forgive me and please enjoy this story, and also The Ship of the Dead.
Dedication: To Mama Bird, because I can't believe that we're not getting a Rick Riordan book together for the first time in (insert an incredible amount of years), and also because you will be dealing with me screaming about the book in a matter of hours. That's right, I know myself.
Days and Nights and In Between
Oh I know that I am here
And you are there but we still have our love
We move just like the moon and sun
The sun comes up the moon rolls down
A world apart but they don't make a sound
They know their love spins us round
- "I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know", Never Shout Never
Magnus liked public libraries. He liked drinking from the clean water fountains, he liked washing up in the public restrooms and peeing indoors, he liked the windows that let him look at the rain or snow without being in it, and he liked walking around, picking up as many books as he could carry, and putting them back at the end of the day so he didn't bother the librarians.
That was fine by Blitz. Usually Hearthstone spent the day with Magnus since he needed the sunlight and Blitz, well, didn't, and took the night shift. Mimir had teamed the two of them up specifically for that reason all those years ago; they were complimentary.
By the time it was Blitzen's turn to keep an eye on the kid, it was nighttime and the library was closing. Still, it was nice to know where a reliable place to find them was when Magnus got on one of his reading kicks.
Their favourite spot was in the gardening section since it was so rarely used that the librarians never seemed to mind them sitting there. Hearthstone's candy-striped scarf beckoned Blitzen from across the library. Magnus was reading a book on the Trojan War's archeological evidence, leaning on the ratty backpack that held his sleeping bag and an extra pair of jeans that were about five sizes too big.
"Bonjour friends," Blitzen said, sitting down next to them.
Magnus looked up and gave Blitz half a nod. He looked tired, outside and in- eyes sunken, shoulders slumped. He'd have to ask Hearthstone, who was reading Lord of the Rings, what had happened. Magnus tapped Hearthstone's knee to point out Blitzen's appearance. Hearth smiled and said hello.
"Look what I've got," Blitzen said to recapture Magnus' attention, offering up a bag of fries. Magnus' eyes widened in surprise.
"I found five bucks," Blitzen said. "Figured this would make your birthday a little bit better."
He signed Happy Birthday M-A-G-N-U-S, and Hearth nodded. Last time they'd both been with the Master, they'd discussed doing something for Magnus' birthday but hadn't been sure how to do it without blowing their covers.
"Thanks," Magnus signed before digging in.
"Sorry it's not falafel," Blitzen said.
"Man, this is so nice," Magnus said. "What are you sorry for?"
They let him have the lion's share even if he offered. Hearthstone drew his knees towards his chest, as if he were retreating into his coat and scarf. Fall rolling in was always hard on Hearthstone. Creatures of light did not belong in dark seasons.
While Magnus ate and read, being careful not to get grease stains on the book pages, Blitz and Hearth got a chance to talk.
"How is he?"
"OK."
"Any plans tonight?"
Hearthstone's ear twitched. He made a Y shape with both hands, drew them down. Lay his left hand flat, and curved his right hand over it. Tapped his chest lightly. Made a Y shape with his right hand and pulled it towards himself again. Tonight I stay.
Blitzen frowned. "It's going to be cold."
"OK," Hearthstone said, as if that didn't matter. And Blitzen felt bad for being pleasantly surprised.
"What are you guys talking about?" Magnus asked, looking up.
"Oh," Blitzen said. "Where to go tonight. They say it'll snow."
"Shelter?"
"No," Magnus signed harshly. Last time they'd all spent the night together in a shelter, Magnus had spent the night twisting and turning in his sleep. Hearthstone had been the one standing guard, watching him, and he was pretty sure that he'd read wolf on Magnus' lips, though he wasn't sure. When Magnus had woken up in cold sweat, he hadn't wanted to talk about it. Something about sleeping indoors just freaked the boy out. Blitzen didn't pretend to understand, and didn't know what to unpack first to get to it.
They ended up sneaking into St-Peter's, once Hearth magically unlocked the door while Blitz distracted Magnus by pointing out a gigantic pigeon.
Magnus pointed to Hearth, made quick circular motions with his wrists before throwing his hands open, like jazz hands. You are magic.
Hearthstone laughed uncomfortably.
They slept pretty comfortably on some church piers. Blitzen was a little creeped out at first, by the stained-glass men and women and saints looking down at him from the walls, but once Magnus fell asleep, Hearthstone came to life and had a thousand things to tell him and took his mind off of things. He'd seen a Valkyrie stop at a traffic light even if she was flying above the traffic. He'd worn a hole in his gloves, and was annoyed at himself and wanted Blitzen to fix it. He'd snuck into Starbucks to use the restroom while this grown man was distracting the baristas with some hissy fit, and he'd stopped to watch on his way out because she was still at it, and as it turned out she was freaking out because his drink had whipped cream on it instead of it being replaced by a pump of extra chocolate syrup- which also meant that Hearth had gotten a free Frappuccino (and tasted one) for the first time of his life. When he described the way that the sugar hit him and got him on a high, his eyes bugged out and he stuck his tongue out and Blitzen laughed so much, he could have woken up Magnus- if the kid didn't sleep like a brick, that was.
Blitzen always figured that Hearthstone was this chatty whenever they had time alone because he spent so little time with signers. He could go days without having an actual conversation with anyone in the real world, after all- if he was watching Magnus from afar, that was. And even then, Magnus was still learning- he couldn't sign and keep up quite as well as Blitzen, especially with stories like these.
Blitz didn't mind, he liked it this way. He liked leaning back and watching Hearthstone tell stories and complain about this one outrageous lady who gave him a quarter and a healing prayer printed over a photo of the ocean to get his hearing back. He liked lying flat on his stomach so he could still watch Hearth sign while stretching out. He liked how Hearth looked at him intently whenever he told a story, without looking away or being distracted like hearing people always did. He liked how when it got dark, they moved over to sit next to a candelabra which Hearthstone lit with magic- and while he did that, Blitzen spread his coat on the floor so they'd have something to sit on.
"Aren't you cold?" Hearthstone signed.
Blitz shook his head. "You won't believe what I heard happened in Nidavellir! Spoiler alert: Gunther is not the father."
And they went on and on and on. Eventually Blitz got sleepy, so Hearth took first watch. When he woke up, he realized that Hearthstone had wrapped his scarf around Blitz.
"You were shivering," Hearthstone explained.
"You're shivering now!" Blitz said.
He wrapped the scarf back around the elf, who kept squirming as Blitz tried to rub some warmth back into his sunshiney, warm-air-spirit bones while Hearthstone tried to explain to him: "Okay so since winter is coming, they've already put the Christmas lights up at the mall, right?"
And he launched himself into another story, and soon the sun was starting to rise, sending colours through the stained-glass windows and spreading through the room.
"I like having our days and our nights together," Blitz signed.
Hearth nodded. "Good thing Magnus sleeps like a baby."
"Mimir thinks that soon, Magnus will find out who he is," Blitz said. The sign name they'd given Mimir was one of Blitz' favourites: they tapped all five of their fingertips on their shoulder, like the sign for boss, but tilted their heads to the side and stuck out their tongue like they'd been decapitated. It had been Hearth's idea, which was the first time that Blitzen had realized how downright sassy his elf could be.
Hearthstone's nose wrinkled. "He'll be in danger then."
This was why they were known as Magnus' mom and dad.
"The truth is better than safety," Blitzen said.
"We'll see. I just hope he's safe. And I hope that even when our mission is over you will stay with me."
Blitzen didn't know what to say. It was one of those times when he wished he understood Hearthstone better. Had he said you will stay with me instead of you and I will still be friends because that was the easiest way to say something, or did these kinds of moments, the two of them sitting on the floor of some random place, dirty and cold, carry some sort of weight or magic to Hearthstone too?
"You know I will," Blitzen said. "Where else would I go?"
Hearthstone grimaced. "Lots of other places."
Blitzen squeezed the elf's cold hand quickly before letting go and signing, "Where else would I want to go?"
"Hey," Magnus croaked from the bench where he'd spent the night. Blitzen tapped Hearthstone's knee and he looked up too. Magnus scratched his hair, most of which was standing straight at the moment through the formidable powers of grease and bedhead combined. "What time is the first service?"
Blitzen had no idea, nor had Hearthstone.
"We should go," Magnus said coming towards them. He rubbed the sleep from his eye and watched as Hearth dusted off Blitzen's coat before giving it back to him, tugging on the sleeves and propping up the collar to make sure that as much of Blitzen's skin as possible was covered- like a fussy tailor.
"Have you two been up long?" Magnus asked with a frown while Hearth dusted off Blitz' back. Hearthstone's touch was unprecedently powerful. It didn't make his skin crawl- it was the opposite of that, it made him feel light and tingly and warm and calm.
"No," Blitzen answered just as Hearthstone yawned.
Somebody was a little overexcited to have the all-father's blessing in using and learning magic, and so Hearthstone was unnecessarily levitating the boxes into the store instead of helping Blitzen move in like a normal person. If he did that, then he wouldn't be Hearthstone. And Blitzen wouldn't have trusted him to move things into his store. And it wouldn't hurt so much that they were going in such separate paths. Of course, Blitzen had known that once Magnus found his way to Hotel Valhalla, once he didn't need protecting anymore they wouldn't be spending quite so much time together, but… did their roads really have to fork? Looking back on it, Blitzen felt stupid for all the times he'd wished that they didn't work night and day shifts. This felt so much farther.
"It's nice here," Hearth said, waving his hand to show the whole store.
Blitzen was proud of it.
"I'll have plenty of reasons to visit," Hearth said.
Blitzen smiled. "Really?"
"Of course. Who else would be able to calm me down when I freak out about the all-father? Or who else would care if I manage to carve a perfect rune but do it in the wrong wood and feel so frustrated I want to rip by skin off? Or-"
He knew it was rude to interrupt, but Blitzen just hugged him. And even if he knew that this wasn't the end, letting go of Hearthstone was hard.
Hearthstone was distracted during the feast. Blitz knew that his mind was wherever Loki was, worrying about what part of the world the trickster was going to shit on first. Still, when Hearth slipped out of the dining hall, it was too much and Blitz followed him out to one of his favourite spots in Hotel Valhalla. Come to think of it, he had actually never been there without Hearth; he wondered if the hotel only had a balcony overlooking a courtyard full of flowers and twisting trees and fireflies and lanterns for the elf, when he needed time alone. Magic calling to Magic and so on.
"Hey," Blitz signed.
Hearthstone said hello back, like an informal military salute. Blitz leaned against the railing. Hearthstone hauled himself up and sat on it so they could look at each other.
"This isn't over," Hearth said.
"Get down before you fall off and hurt yourself, silly elf. And no. Ragnarok hasn't begun yet."
Their made-up sign for Ragnarok included signing the letter R and then the sign for burn. It didn't seem so funny now that the whole world might actually burn, and that would be on them.
"I know. I mean the danger the nearly-dying," Hearth said. It happened so quickly that Blitzen could nearly convince that he'd made it up, but Hearth's hand twitched towards him to point to him and say you in danger, you nearly-dying…
He felt guilty that Hearth had had to go back to his parents' for his sake. He felt guilty for scaring Hearth. Magnus had even told him, in retrospect, that he had never seen Hearthstone look so scared and so determined- which was saying something, because they'd all been there that one time that a nasty McDonald's cashier had tried to deny their 2-1 dinner coupons on account that they had clearly been picked up off the ground, and Hearthstone had launched into a tirade and made a great big scene even though literally nobody else in the McDonald's could understand him until the lady had caved and given the their discount. That was the best burger of Blitzen's life.
"At least tonight will be calm," Hearthstone said, which somehow, innocent and kind and true as it was, managed to rub him in all the wrong ways.
Blitzen knew the sign for more. You touched all your fingertips together, as if your hands were making beaks during the chicken dance, and then you touched both hands together, again and again. Which was what he was signing.
He also knew the sign for what which was what Hearth was signing with a confused look on his face, which meant that it would be a good time for Blitzen to wake up and answer.
"I want more," Blitzen said. "More of this- more than this. More than just being happy for tonight."
Blitzen thought it was interesting how there were two different signs for more. One for 'more of something' and one for 'more than'.
"Tomorrow the world might be on fire. Or flooded, who knows. I want more than the conversations we manage to fit into the times when we're not dying or trying to save the world. I want a real future with you or for things to look good enough for me not to be afraid to say"
Hearthstone's eyes were fixed on Blitzen, wide and glowing yellow like the sun streaming through glass. But Blitzen stopped signing. He realised, too late of course, that it wasn't something he could say out loud.
Hearthstone hopped off the railing, took Blitzen's hands, and kissed him. Blitzen had no idea how long the kiss lasted, had no recollection of whether or not it was a good kiss or if he'd been awake enough to kiss Hearth back. He just knew it had happened and it twisted his stomach into a thousand knots.
Hearth took a step back.
"Now is not that time," he signed. Blitzen replayed the signs in his mind one at a time. Now. Not. Time. Now Not Time. Now Not Time Now Not Time.
And Hearth slipped away to go back to the dining hall before Blitzen could ask so when?
TJ and Alex had first watch, but Blitzen couldn't sleep so he leaned against the ship's railing and looked at the waves below them and tried not to imagine sea monsters shooting out of the depths. Or the sky falling on top of them.
That's when he heard a door close behind him. Blitz should have known by the lack of self-awareness that most people had, when they crept around in the night. It was Hearth, wearing jeans and his coat over his bare chest. He looked frail, like a bird, but his feet were planted firmly in the ground. As he'd learned more and more magic, Hearth had stood straighter and straighter. He met Blitz' eyes now.
"Where are you going?"
"I left my runes to soak in moonlight," Hearth answered.
Blitz nodded, and watched him leave. When he came back, Hearthstone leaned against the railing next to him. He wondered what Hearthstone was seeing in the waves, and he wondered what he dreamed of or saw, scribbled on his eyelids, every time he closed his mouth or had a nightmare. Because Blitzen saw this whole ship crash into the sea or a lake of fire or the sun, and he was so anxious he could barely sleep and he could barely eat and so he had no idea how he was going to be of any use at all during this apocalypse which was just going to make the ship crashing into the sea or a lake of fire or the sun his fault.
"Did your runes soak in the moonlight or power or whatever they were supposed to do?" Blitz asked. The elf nodded.
"Twilight is a good time for magic," Hearth said. "It's a seminal space, between night and day."
And Blitzen thought back to the last time Hearthstone had let the two of them be alone together, when he'd asked for those seminal spaces and nights and days, and his stomach twisted again. If he had kept his peace, he would be able to tell Hearth about the all-consuming panic eating him alive.
Hearthstone showed one of the runes to Blitzen- the symbol on it looked a little bit like a fork, or a trident. He fingerspelled the name out for him: A-L-G-I-Z.
"Algiz is luck. Algiz is what makes something special, instead of mundane. Algiz isn't everywhere and so when you see it, you have to be thankful for it, and cherish it, and…" Hearthstone sighed. He was converting Norse ideas into the English Odin had taught him in, and then into ASL. Translation was hard.
Hearth put the rune back in the bag, and took another one out- this one had three vertical lines, divided into triangles and lozenges by diagonal lines, like a surrealist ladder of some sort. W-E-B - O-F - W-Y-R-D.
"This one shows what fate looks like," Hearth said. "It contains all the shapes of the runes. All the past, present and future possibilities. All our days and all our nights and all our in-betweens."
He put the rune in Blitzen's pocket.
"Please stay alive," Hearthstone said. "I still want us to be possible after this is done."
"We're already possible," Blitzen said. "That's what you never understood, Hearthstone. You were there, I was here, and we may not have had the time, but who does? I don't know a whole lot about magic, and I don't know what's sacred or not and what's more important, but I'd make time for you. Any day."
Hearthstone's eyes shined strangely in the night. He didn't break eye contact when he nodded yes.
"Today?" Hearthstone asked.
"Yes," Blitzen said without a second of hesitation.
And just like that, he kissed Blitzen again- but this time Blitzen was awake. He knew that he kissed Hearthstone back, pulled him towards him, wound his fingers in his hair. He knew how long the kiss lasted, because they stumbled back towards Blitzen's cabin and shut the door and only opened it once daylight let itself in. Hearthstone, whose coat and bag of runes were on the floor now, was strangely, unfamiliarly warm against him- with the elf curled up against his chest, Blitzen felt like what normal people, people who didn't get paralyzed in daylight, must feel like when they lay in the sunshine. Blitzen wondered if his skin was cold to Hearthstone. They were night and day after all; a world of light and a world underground.
It didn't matter anymore, Blitzen reasoned. No matter how soft his mattress was, he could feel the Web of Wyrd rune, still in his pocket, digging into his thigh. They were so much more than those two extremes, they were everything they wanted to be.
And Hearthstone, who breathed easily and slept soundly in his arms, didn't seem to care. Still, Blitzen drew up the blanket and kissed his elf's forehead.