Shrek was feeling Jesus's pulchritudinous (breathtaking) hair. It felt so velvety and supple (flexible). His mouth watered and he felt an erection coming along. He hardened and it wanted Jesus. Currently Jesus was sitting on his lap harmoniously. Jesus had his head against Shrek's chest and was sleeping amicably (peaceable, friendly). Shrek felt supercilious (thinks one is superior to others) about what fell in his swamp.

Shrek went another step and licked Jesus's ear. Then Shrek had an idea. He got out a syringe filled with the world's most illegal drugs enlaced (entwine). He felt fro Jesus's pulse and stuck the needle in. Immediately, Jesus's eyes widened and he stuck out his tongue. He screamed bloody murder and Shrek jumped in surprise. Jesus got up and put his hands up like he didn't care and started singing about flying banana milk. Every so often he would pelvic thrust. He took his clothes off and Jesus pissed on Shrek.

Shrek opened his mouth to catch the piss to drink as he was very thirsty. Shrek drank as much as he could when Jesus crouched down and he made a face that looks like he's constipated. Shrek smirked. Shrek wanted a dirty Sanchez and he wanted it now.

Shrek ran up to Jesus who was screaming about bunicorns. Shrek slapped Jesus's ass and some of that holy shit. His shit was gold and it glowed. Shrek put the holy shit on his face then proceeded to take off his shirt to slap more of the shit on his chest.

Shrek got out more syringes and Shrek got higher than the motherfucker he is.

Soon Shrek was seeing flying catfish. No, literally they were fish with cat heads. Shrek and Jesus started singing the fuck BC's and running around flapping their arms.

It went on like this for a few days until the drugs finally wore off.

"Carry me back!" Jesus said.

Shrek carried Jesus bridal style to his shack. Shrek put Jesus on a bed in his love room as he calls it. Shrek and Jesus cuddled together and then they slept.

Shrek woke up, but he didn't recognize the surrounding. It was all white and there was a muscled guy that looked like the guy wearing a diaper.

When the man saw that Shrek was awake he unfolded a pair of white wings and flew at him. he carried Shrek with one arm out of the door and through the corridor.

Then he stood before Jesus in a large throne.

"Shrek, my darling, come be my husband!" Jesus hollered with a booming voice.

Then all of the sudden Shrek grew a pair of white wings himself and flew to Jesus. Shrek picked up Jesus and sat him on his lap. Then a crown manifested on Shrek's head. Now Shrek was God. Shrek knew what he had to do.

In a matter of weeks, the world had drastically changed. Prostitution was legal, houses were green, and now there was statues of Shrek holding Jesus everywhere.

Svadkn-chan grabbed her friends and went to an alternate universe where this shit didn't take place and now, reader-san, WHAT SHALL YOU DO ABOUT THIS!

What choices will you make? What powers will you acquire in this new world? Yes, a new world, the Illuminati is real, Sern from Steinsgate is real, and RFID chips are real.

God, we should have listened to those conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. Svadkn-chan bets that they are laughing at us right now.