I wake up each day, to the sight of Sakura blossoms, they're always there from the moment I open my eyes to closing them. I seem to forget where I am each time I open my eyes, so every day I notice that someone planted a Sakura tree where my team used to train together.
After I fully wake up, I visit my teammates and my sensei. Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi. I visit them when they're at home. I try knocking, but when I do… It's strange. They open the door, but they don't look at me. They look right through me.
Each day I do this, and the pain doesn't lessen.
I see them smile and laugh with everyone else. They're not laughing with me. More importantly, I'm not laughing with them. Just waiting, waiting for them to see me, to notice me.
I place my hands on the glass window of Naruto's house, and knock, and hear his voice. My heart starts to quicken and my eyes start to tear.
"I'll be right there te- Oh shit!" I hear the tumbling of pans and dishes shortly after. He opens his door.
"Naruto! I missed you!" I say as I open my arms to hug him.
"Teme! Why are you so late?" Naruto says as Sasuke goes right through me so they can hug.
I smile knowing this would happen, and I enter with Sasuke.
"I visited our own training field," Sasuke says as he places his coat on the couch. For some reason, Naruto stiffens and his mood changes. As if, the training grounds are a taboo subject.
"Ah! I see."
Sasuke sighs and looks out the window.
"You need to move on, dobe. Everyone else had."
Naruto doesn't reply and I sit there as they talk, however, they never talk about why Naruto needed to move on.
I play on the playground sometimes.
Even if I'm considered too old to play, the mothers and little kids don't give me strange looks. They don't say anything at all really. It's as if I don't even exist.
It's fun. I laugh as I sit on the swing, moving my legs up and down, repeatedly, In the same motion, and I notice how my legs move the same way, and how it reminds me of how I wake up each day.
I visit my parents, they seem to miss me. I sit on my chair when they eat, and they're much quieter now.
Ah! I notice they're eating one of my favorite foods.
Syrup-Coated Anko Dumplings.
Strangely, I see my mother crying when she takes a bite of the dumpling.
There's a festival going on I think. So, I rush and I wear a kimono. I laugh excitedly and rush to the festival, but I notice this is no ordinary festival, but a wedding.
Why didn't they invite me?
The thought comes up my mind, as I see Shikamaru and Temari holding hands, with Shikamaru wearing a black suit, and Temari wearing a white dress.
I smile, and I look for everyone else. I notice everyone is crying. but, I don't forget the smiles on their faces. They're happy.
That makes me happy.
I wake up with Naruto on top of me, and I'm startled. So, I punch him, to no avail of course. It goes right through him.
I also notice he brought me ramen, and he's eating his own bowl.
He eats differently, I see. He's not really stuffing his face with the ramen, but eating the noodles slowly.
I look up to the sky for a moment until I hear sniffling. I look down and I recognize Naruto crying as he eats his ramen.
What an idiot.
He wipes his tears, and I hug him. He stiffens, and my heart starts to beat faster.
Maybe he finally noticed me!
He laughs.
"Sakura-Chan. You're here, aren't you?" His tears are flowing down much faster now.
"You were always there. Right Sakura-chan? I miss you, I miss your smile, I miss your eyes and your hair. I miss you." He starts to sob after.
I start to cry but I continue to listen.
"I love you, I love you. Please, come back. This world. No. The world without you is the same thing as no world at all."
I smile. I kiss him, and he is cold. I realize Naruto will never be cold because he's as warm as the sun. It's me who is cold.
"I love you too," I say, but he doesn't hear me.
He can feel me. That is enough.
I eat the ramen after he leaves. Even cold, it's warm.
Everyone is so much older now. Everyone is much more mature, Ino-pig is married and has a kid with Sai if you can believe that. Sasuke is the same, but he is married to Karin. Kiba is married to the beautiful Hinata, and he's a lucky man. Even Lee got married. However, Naruto isn't married, and he's the seventh Hokage.
I'm so proud of him. Yet, he makes me so sad. He is alone, because of me. I did this to him.
You see, Friendship leads to love, and love leads to lust, and lust leads to sin, so after all, sin leads to guilt. This is what you feel Naruto. Guilt. Look at me. Smile, that smile of yours. Be happy, for I am content, knowing you remember me, knowing you all will remember me.
Naruto.
I hope you find someone whose presence alone, is enough to soothe your pain.
I wake up, and everyone is so old. So, so very old.
My parents are gone.
They're so old. Their kids are grown up.
My heart hurts, and it feels like it's about to burst. I don't want to sleep, I want time to stop.
I don't want them to die. I don't want to see them die. Please. Please, god if you exist. Don't let me see them die.
I wake up again.
I want to die. I want to disappear.
Why?
I'm so stupid. So very stupid.
Konoha is empty. Not a soul in the place. No one lives here anymore, not even animals.
I see. Maybe they all went somewhere and left me here.
Why am I here? Why didn't I leave? Why didn't I die like a fucking normal person?
I realized it, like a dumb person, right now, that I'm dead.
I turn my head to see tombstones.
Confused, I stand up to read them.
Naruto Uzumaki. Loved Friend and Hokage.
My heart stops.
Funny, how I still have a heart.
Next to him is Sasuke.
I see all of my friend's names on tombstones.
Everyone is dead.
Yet, I'm still here.
Why did everyone leave me?
I miss you guys.
Don't leave me alone.
Please.
This story was inspired by the beautiful melody: Mono No Aware by Hammock. Beautiful song, Video, and a great recommend.
Thank you for reading.
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