A/N: AU. Pretend it was winter in the Jinchuu arc. Kaoru dies, and Kenshin grieves.
Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki owns Rurouni Kenshin
Alone.
He was so alone now.
Alone.
He had had her, but she was gone, now just a whisper in the wind. He had had her, but she had left, torn away from him by monsters known as hatred. He had had her, but she was just a memory now, a sweet memory, once the only sunlight in a cold, stormy day. He had had once her, the joy of his life, the only one that could bring sunlight onto his heart. She had been his hope, his life. But she was gone. Gone.
Dead.
He could see her, what he had once had, what was gone now. He could see her smiling face in his mind, telling him to move on. He saw her smile her radiant smile, and for a moment his loneliness evaporated. You have a life to live, she said. Don't give up. But his soul felt so tired, so weary, worn down by all his sorrow and loneliness.
Tired, he thought. Weary. Let me rest.
He sat down against a tree, gazing at the overcast sky. Snow began to fall, floating from the sky, staining the world gray and white. It swirled from the gray sky, floating down like ashes of a bonfire. But that bonfire was gone now, put out, and the remnants fell from the sky, each a tiny reminder of what had been lost, echoing with sadness. And sorrow fell in his soul too, fell like the snow, piling heaps of loneliness in the emptiness of his heart.
Snow fell into his hair, powdering it with white. Cold prickled at his skin, but he didn't move, for he was trapped in the loneliness echoing in his heart. The cold of loneliness was colder, so much colder, and it left a hole in his chest, a void where happiness had once lived. And why should he be happy? She was gone, all gone, wiped off the face of the earth. She was gone. But while she faded from the mind of others, she stayed imprinted in his, unable to be wiped away by the flowing of time. The memory of her was burned into his mind by his longing for her, so close yet so far.
Kaoru. Kaoru. The sweet memory of her, it sent waves of loss through his soul. Kaoru. She had been the light of his life, guiding his way when all else was darkness. She had been his hope, his very life. Her smile alone would warm his heart, and joy would ripple through his soul. But she was gone, vanished, her memory drifting further away each day like ash in the wind. She had vanished from his life, like the sun vanishing when night came. His light, his hope, it was all gone, leaving a gaping hole in his soul. He felt cracks spreading throughout his body, cracks from his bleeding heart, until he was all broken. In the emptiness of his heart, her name echoed back and forth. Kaoru. Kaoru. Kaoru….
"Kaoru!" He could bear the pain in his heart, and he let it all out in his howl of grief. "Kaoru!" Tears ran from his eyes, tears of loss, tears speaking of a spirit broken. He choked back a sob. "I never got to tell you…"
The cracks in his soul, they spread faster now, reaching their fingers deep into the recessed of his mind. And then it shattered, jolted apart by the grief tearing at his heart. It all shattered, and he broke, broke into a million unrepairable pieces. His heart splintered into a thousand shards, and he whispered:
"….that I love you."
A/N: See? It's better with snow.