Title: Schoolhouse Rock
Time period: AU, and proud of it!
Summary: Poor Elrond. As if three boys weren't enough, about half the characters from the Lord of the Rings series seek enlightenment! And you think your teachers have it hard!
*****
"It tastes like LIGHTNING!" Elladan shouted, swallowing another bite of his candy.
"Elladan, please, we do not want to know what it tastes like to deal out blowjobs," Estel said quietly, writing semi-appropriate things in his notebook.
"What?!?" Eowyn asked, perking up from beside Estel. "What did you just say?"
"I said, 'Elladan, please, we do not want to know what it tastes like to deal out blowjobs,'" Estel said.
"What does that mean?" Eowyn asked.
"Do you know what a blow job is?" Estel asked in return.
"No. . ."
"I'm surrounded by innocence!" Estel exclaimed, before explaining to Eowyn what a blowjob is.
"Oh! Ew! Yuck!" Eowyn exclaimed, turning back to her work. Estel giggled maliciously, then turned back to his work. Legolas stood beside Estel's desk.
"Hey Estel," Legolas said.
"Hey Legolas," Estel said. Elladan turned around in his chair.
"I have a joke," Elladan said. "Give me your pen, Estel." Elladan grabbed Estel's pen. Estel held tight, not trusting Elladan. Eventually Elladan won, and he began to draw on his brother's notebook. "Fe. . .Fe. . .Fe. . ." all connected by lines. "What do you call this? A Ferris wheel!"
"Oh, I got one," Legolas said. He took the pen, drew a "K", subscript "9" and then "P". "What's this element?" Estel pulled out his periodic table. Elladan read the element out loud.
"Oh! Ha ha!" Elladan shouted. Elladan always shouted.
"What?" Eowyn asked, leaning in to see. "I don't get it."
"K-9 P," Legolas said with a grin.
"Dog piss," Estel clarified.
"Oh. Ew." Eowyn returned to her work again.
"Preciousss. . .my precioussssss. . ." in the corner of the room, Gollum stroked an origami boulder. The others ignored him. Elladan stole Estel's pen.
"Bitch!" Estel shouted, snatching at the pen. He jumped up and began to strangle Elladan.
"What happened?" Eowyn asked again.
"Elladan stole my pen!" Estel announced angrily.
"That doesn't sound right. . ." Eowyn commented. Legolas giggled.
"What are you doing?" Elrond asked. Estel slid into his assigned seat, as did Legolas. Elladan slumped over as if dead. Eowyn poked Elladan. "Didn't I tell you what to do?" Elrond asked. "Page 69--"
Elladan, Estel, and Legolas snorted.
"What now?" Elrond asked.
"Nothing," Estel choked out, his cheeks puffed out with unlaughed laughter.
"It had better be," Elrond replied. Then he began a lecture about some boring Elvish poet, who wrote a poem about rabbit stew. "What would our lives be like," Elrond asked them, "without rabbit stew?"
"More bread and butter, yum," said Eowyn, a notoriously picky eater. She hated rabbit stew.
"Rabbits are rather difficult to shoot," Legolas commented. "I suppose it would be different if the poem said deer stew."
"It is not right to eat meat!" Estel proclaimed.
"No meat? No meat?" Elladan asked, then he bit Estel's neck.
"Ow! Elf-bitch!" Estel shouted, smacking Elladan.
"None of you appreciate my poetry!" Elrond lamented.
"Don't take it too hard, buddy," Estel said.
"Class dismissed," Elrond said. "Go find Glorfindel."
Glorfindel? Ohh, math class! The students rushed out of the room. Gollum looked up. "Preciousssss?"
*****
O.k., so I was feeling bored and random.
Time period: AU, and proud of it!
Summary: Poor Elrond. As if three boys weren't enough, about half the characters from the Lord of the Rings series seek enlightenment! And you think your teachers have it hard!
*****
"It tastes like LIGHTNING!" Elladan shouted, swallowing another bite of his candy.
"Elladan, please, we do not want to know what it tastes like to deal out blowjobs," Estel said quietly, writing semi-appropriate things in his notebook.
"What?!?" Eowyn asked, perking up from beside Estel. "What did you just say?"
"I said, 'Elladan, please, we do not want to know what it tastes like to deal out blowjobs,'" Estel said.
"What does that mean?" Eowyn asked.
"Do you know what a blow job is?" Estel asked in return.
"No. . ."
"I'm surrounded by innocence!" Estel exclaimed, before explaining to Eowyn what a blowjob is.
"Oh! Ew! Yuck!" Eowyn exclaimed, turning back to her work. Estel giggled maliciously, then turned back to his work. Legolas stood beside Estel's desk.
"Hey Estel," Legolas said.
"Hey Legolas," Estel said. Elladan turned around in his chair.
"I have a joke," Elladan said. "Give me your pen, Estel." Elladan grabbed Estel's pen. Estel held tight, not trusting Elladan. Eventually Elladan won, and he began to draw on his brother's notebook. "Fe. . .Fe. . .Fe. . ." all connected by lines. "What do you call this? A Ferris wheel!"
"Oh, I got one," Legolas said. He took the pen, drew a "K", subscript "9" and then "P". "What's this element?" Estel pulled out his periodic table. Elladan read the element out loud.
"Oh! Ha ha!" Elladan shouted. Elladan always shouted.
"What?" Eowyn asked, leaning in to see. "I don't get it."
"K-9 P," Legolas said with a grin.
"Dog piss," Estel clarified.
"Oh. Ew." Eowyn returned to her work again.
"Preciousss. . .my precioussssss. . ." in the corner of the room, Gollum stroked an origami boulder. The others ignored him. Elladan stole Estel's pen.
"Bitch!" Estel shouted, snatching at the pen. He jumped up and began to strangle Elladan.
"What happened?" Eowyn asked again.
"Elladan stole my pen!" Estel announced angrily.
"That doesn't sound right. . ." Eowyn commented. Legolas giggled.
"What are you doing?" Elrond asked. Estel slid into his assigned seat, as did Legolas. Elladan slumped over as if dead. Eowyn poked Elladan. "Didn't I tell you what to do?" Elrond asked. "Page 69--"
Elladan, Estel, and Legolas snorted.
"What now?" Elrond asked.
"Nothing," Estel choked out, his cheeks puffed out with unlaughed laughter.
"It had better be," Elrond replied. Then he began a lecture about some boring Elvish poet, who wrote a poem about rabbit stew. "What would our lives be like," Elrond asked them, "without rabbit stew?"
"More bread and butter, yum," said Eowyn, a notoriously picky eater. She hated rabbit stew.
"Rabbits are rather difficult to shoot," Legolas commented. "I suppose it would be different if the poem said deer stew."
"It is not right to eat meat!" Estel proclaimed.
"No meat? No meat?" Elladan asked, then he bit Estel's neck.
"Ow! Elf-bitch!" Estel shouted, smacking Elladan.
"None of you appreciate my poetry!" Elrond lamented.
"Don't take it too hard, buddy," Estel said.
"Class dismissed," Elrond said. "Go find Glorfindel."
Glorfindel? Ohh, math class! The students rushed out of the room. Gollum looked up. "Preciousssss?"
*****
O.k., so I was feeling bored and random.