A/N: This is not exactly a songfic, but it was inspired by the song 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks. I'll be writing a story for each keyword in the chorus, but since doesn't want titles with names higher than G rating, I'm obligated to call it something else in the main title. It's my first fanfic in a while so please only constructive criticism.

Bitch

Hermione Granger was not a witch to be messed with. Obviously the book that she was currently trying to reach had not been informed of this. She jumped to reach the spine of the book and fell short by inches again.

"Hey there."

Hermione spun round to see the older Triwizard champion of Hogwarts grinning at her like the Cheshire Cat and while it was a very charming grin, one which she was in the danger of falling into, she just didn't feel like falling into it!

"I don't know where Harry is," said Hermione turning back to the stubborn book and its bookshelf fortress.

"Well that's very well and all, but it's my dear Hermione Granger that I'm concerning myself with at the moment," said Cedric, not once batting an eyelash. Cedric was proud of himself of such an accomplishment, but unfortunately he realized a little too late that the line that he had just used was absolutely atrocious. He mentally took note to smack himself in the forehead when he got out of the library.

Hermione in the mean time decided not to even deign to look at him again and continued to jump for her book.

"I'm not dear and I'm not your anything!" said Hermione.

Jump.

"Even if I do happen to be Hermione Granger," she continued.

Jump.

"Damn it! You bitch of a book!" hissed Hermione, earning a strange look from Cedric.

He stepped between her and the bookshelf she was attacking and looked her straight in the eye. "As sure as I am that the book will reply with an equally scathing insult, I was hoping that I could talk to you for a second?" asked Cedric hopefully. Hermione glared at him and huffed.

"Alright, if you can get my book down for me, I'll listen to what you have to say," replied Hermione exasperatedly. The book was far enough that even with his stature, he'd have to jump and Hermione had decided it would be amusing to see Cedric jump up and down like a kangaroo, even if he didn't know what that was.

"A simple enough request," said Cedric with a shrug of his shoulders. He whipped out his wand. "Accio book!"

The book flew out from its perch without further ado and landed firmly in Cedric's hands, though Hermione was starting to wish it had landed in his face. It would have wiped that irritatingly attractive Cheshire cat grin off his face.

Cedric handed the book to Hermione while she mentally berated herself. She was a witch for Merlin's sake, why hadn't she though of that herself?

"My princess, I have completed your quest, may I now have a second of your time?" asked Cedric dramatically, though in hushed tones. Madame Pince was starting to patrol the library again and was just passing by.

She glared at the two and Hermione cringed to think of what she would say if she'd known that Hermione was hopping up and down to get a book. Cedric just smiled and waved brightly at the librarian and as soon as she left, turned back to Hermione who was trying to sneak away.

"Well?" whispered Cedric, amused. Hermione gave up on her attempt to escape her tormentor. She gave a final humph for good measure and crossed her arms defensively.

"Fine, but I'm not telling you anything about the egg," said Hermione resolutely as she tried to look intimidating. The rest of the school was still backing Cedric and giving Harry a hard time, and it just wasn't fair. She'd protect Harry from Cedric and everyone else by herself if she'd have to.

It amused Cedric to no end that a girl who barely reached the tip of his nose was trying to look down her nose at him.

"That's because you haven't solved it and it's driving you insane isn't it?" Cedric quipped in cheekily and only just managed to halt the onslaught of rebuttal that was about to spill from her lips by continuing on, "and as much as you seem to dislike being my anything as you put it so delightfully, I was wondering if you would be the anything that I take to the Yule Ball."

All that was said in quite a rush to prevent to her saying a word till he'd gotten all that off his chest because Cedric didn't think that he could pluck up the courage to ask a second time.

She was the most intimidating witch he'd ever had the pleasure of knowing, and even though she wasn't successful in staring him down, he was definitely was intimidated, that was, until she started to imitate the expression of a goldfish.

"You want me to be the anything you take to the ball?!" gasped Hermione. Not one, but two Triwizard champions were interested in her; it was as though they were conspiring against her.

Suddenly the giggling of fans could be heard coming closer as Cedric's hopefuls approached them.

"You might want to hurry with your answer before I disappear into the night, those girls can be like vampires sometimes, I swear they'd do anything to get me to take them to the ball," whispered Cedric looking to her urgently. Much to his disappointment, Hermione's goldfish impression was dropped and worse, was replaced by one of apologetic unease. He was so sweet, and he looked so earnestly at her that she hated to turn him down.

"I'm really sorry Cedric, but someone else asked first and I already said yes," said Hermione watching his hope bubble pop and his Cheshire grin drop at last. "If it weren't for that, I'd go with you though." She looked down at her book to avoid looking at his sad puppy face, it made her feel uncomfortable that she'd upset one of the most sought after boys at school.

"So you won't mind practicing the waltz with me then?" said Cedric. Hermione's head shot up to see that the Cheshire cat had reappeared on his face. "As much as theories may help, only practice can make perfect," he said gesturing down at her book.

The words To Perfect the Waltz stared at them as an elegantly dressed couple danced across the cover of the book. Hermione blushed and hid the book from him. She was caught!

"I, I," she stuttered, Hermione Granger was never speechless, and yet a mere boy with the grin of a fictional cat had bested her! The giggles got louder and she was snapped out of her thoughts and she made a rash decision. "I guess I'll take your offer up," said Hermione defeated. She hoped that she wouldn't regret it, but his face just lit up and he was grinning like that damned cat again!

"Was it my charm or my smile?" asked Cedric. Hermione glared at him.

"You can leave the Cheshire cat out of this thank you very much," she snapped at him. He at once lost the grin and looked at her confused.

"What's a Cheshire cat and what does it have to do with my charm?" he asked, thrown. Hermione smirked. At last she'd gotten rid of that damned cat.

"My dear Cedric Diggory, I always thought you were a well-read wizard," said Hermione with a smug shake of her head, "guess I was wrong. You can practice with me when you discover for yourself what it is." She tossed her head and walked off leaving a very confused Cedric amongst the bookshelves to fend off his fans by himself.

Cedric watched her leave with wonder. He'd survived asking her to the Yule Ball, and even if he couldn't take her to the ball, he would still be practicing the waltz with her. That is, if he could figure out what this mysterious 'Cheshire cat' was. He shook his head and smiled to himself. Hermione Granger was definitely a witch not to be messed with.

"Cedric, what were you doing with that Granger girl?" demanded a shrill voice. Cedric gulped and backed away from his vampiric fans. The horde was closing in and they were angry. "I thought I heard you asking her to the Yule Ball."

Cedric realized too late that Hermione had left him to fight off his fans by himself.

"What a bitch!" laughed Cedric to himself.