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A Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic with no crossovers, nope seriously honestly none at all.
Well maybe just one, or three actually, yes three.
(That's for very large values of three you understand...)
Legal type stuff:-
This document would be (C) 1999 Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown, but hey that would be breaking
several major international laws and at least a dozen copyright violations so why bother.
The characters of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sally, and related characters are copyright and
trademark are copyrights of SEGA, DIC, and Archie Comic Publications.
The characters of Ozy and Millie are copyright and trademarked of David Simpson
The generic fox was provided with inspiration by Jim Groat
The character of Britanny Diggers is copyrighted to Fred Perry
Their use within this work of fiction is in no way, meant to infringe or steal that
copyright, nor to dilute the characters themselves. No profit on the part of the author is
made from this document, and this document is used only for entertainment purposes. (apparently)
Oh and just in case you want to flame me and such you can send mailto:
Fionacat@hotmail.com
Where oodles of spam just flood in for me to delete daily.
This is a PARODY, that means it's well actually I dunno, let me grab my dictionary.
Oh right that means it's a spoof, a travesty of Sonic the Hedgehog, it's not to be taken
internally.
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It was just another day in the forest.
The end.
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Not really of course (Also known as Chapter Uno)
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It was a hot sweaty day in the forest, most days in the forest where hot and sweaty. As this
was a semi-tropical forest with average rainfall of silly amounts (No I don't know how much
and I don't care either. Lots of rain, lots and lots of rain, happy now?) but this was no
normal forest located in a nice temperate zone, no no no, this was an alien forest located
on some planet called Mobius.
Mobius is famed for two things and two things alone, firstly there is the inept evil dictator
that should have enslaved the entire planet years ago but has failed. As such folks don't
mind that Mobius is run by an evil dictator, as long as he stays in power there's going to be
no problem with him trying to take over anything else in the galaxy.
The evil dictator's name is Dr. Robotnik, his flaw (all evil dictator's have a flaw) is his
reliance on robots and mechanical devices.
The second thing of note on Mobius is the strange animal life there, it appears that all the
animals there are semi-intelligent (at least to human standards but that's hardly a good
reference) and most are bipedal. The most famed animal on the planet is a Princess Sally
(apparently these animals even managed to introduce a system of Monarchy.) who runs the
freedom fighters from one of the many places Dr. Robotnik does not control, the forementioned
hot sweaty forest.
Cutting back to the point, it was just another day in the forest where two certain infamous
freedom fighters where out on patrol. At least that's what they said but Tails and Sonic
knew all too well that there was actually nothing in the forest worth finding having plundered
it's natural resources for quite some time now.
However this patrol was diffrent, rather then coming across the obligatory force of inept
robots that where always hiding around the tree, Tails from his slightly stratigic vantage point
of the air saw something glimmer a few feet away.
"Um Sonic." Tails whispered trying to attract his compaions attention.
"Yeah, what?" Sonic replied not really caring.
"Shiny thing alert!!" Tail screamed happily, propelling himself as fast as he could towards
the glittering object.
"Cool beans!!" Commented Sonic also rushing towards the object at incredible speed (again I don't
know how fast, very fast, faster then say it takes to read this.)
Sonic, who reached the shiny object ahead of his airborne friend thanks to clever use of
aerodynamic principles and the fact he could move so very very fast, was forced to gasp at
what he saw there.
"What is it Sonic??" Tails called from a short distance away.
"You are not going to believe it lil' buddy." Sonic quipped back.
Tails blinked wondering what a quip was but didn't care as he hovered towards a strange animal
of some sort lying in the forest with it's fur all pink.
Discovery
=========
Sonic began to cry, "No, no please no..." the words fell from his lips begging the ground itself
for it to be not true.
"What, what is it?" Tails asked not sure if he really wanted to know.
"Oh come on Tails get with the programme!" Sonic shouted at his friend before pinching himself
and jumping sharply.
Tails hovered over the strange creature before reality hit him hard.
"It's... It's..." Tails stammered, the shock forcing him to land.
"Yep, it's a human all right." Sonic said nodding his head sagely.
Tails screamed skywards "NOoooooooooooooooo!"
Sonic placed a conforting arm around his vulpine (that means "of or like a fox".) friend and
whispered as gently as he could "It's going to be all right lil' buddy, we'll get out of
this fanfic somehow..."
At that moment the human started to moan.
"Quick Sonic break it's neck or something!!" Tails exclaimed rapidly, "That'll end the story
quickly!!"
Sonic swooped dowards to attempt to snap the humans neck but found himself unable, he shot a
glance up to Tails "It's too late lil' buddy we're the good guys and now we're stuck in this
story we have to do good."
Tails swore loudly with words that most folk would think alien animals didn't know.
"Wh. wh.." The human stammered.
"He's coming around." Cursed Tails, "I told you we should have stayed in bed but NOOOooooo you
instited on coming on patrol."
Sonic grinned up at his friend, "Hey Sally said she'd cook me dinner again if I did."
Tails spun around happily "Cool, so what do I get?"
Sonic looked around quickly and took off the human's digital watch throwing it up to Tails.
"This cheap imitation Casio watch, also doubles as a neat shiny thing." Sonic improsived.
Tails beamed happily and merely commeted "Sweet." (Yes Sweet, not Sweat or Swede as early version
indicated but Sweet.)
"What happened?" the human finally managed to blurt out.
"Well my guess is that there was a big shimmery thing and you stepped or got sucked into it or
alternativly you fell asleep and woke up here." Sonic offered.
The human rolled over onto his side, enabling both Sonic and Tails to see for the first time
that it had a short cat like tail.
Tails hovered close to Sonic and whispered, "Dude this guy's like pretty screwed up dude."
Sonic mocked surprise and replied "You don't say, Knothole forest tends to do that to these
things, by morning he'll prolly be a bipedal cat."
The human bolted back from Sonic anxiously looking at the hedgehog with fear in it's eyes, in
some degree of shock it asked, "I'm turning into a... ... ... cat?"
Sonic looked to Tails for a second then back to the human and nodded with a "No." then shook
his head with a "Yes."
The human looked puzzled.
Sonic sighed and explained, "Look I'm a hedgehog with virtually no knowledge of metaphysics
now we'll take you back to Knothole village and either find out what's going on or cook you
for Sunday lunch."
With that Tails smiled happily and licked his lips saying "Roast human, Deeeeelicious."
For most of the journey back to Knothole Village the human was unsurprisngly quiet.
Knothole Village
================
Sonic and Tails proceeded to lead the straggling human with them back to Knothole village
pretty sure that one of the many usual fanfic standby's would be waiting for them.
Rather surprisingly the human did not get a chance to prove itself in combat against Robotnik's
forces, nor did it manage to rescue Sonic or Tails from a devious trap. Indeed it didn't
even provide any useful but pointless knowledge about the layout of Robotnik's base or his
plans.
"So are you a guy human or a girl human?" Tails asked suddenly.
The human insultedly replied, "Can't you tell?"
"Well no." Tails retorted, "I'm a flying fox of a alien world who whilst having a fair exposure
to humans am still colour blind and unable to instantly disguish male humans from female humans.
I can however name every single raccoon in this forest even if they do look all the same."
"Oh," the human said bluntly, "Well I'm a guy human called Miles."
Tails landed on Miles's head "That's my name too, well my real name."
The human Miles raised an eyebrow which was lost to both Sonic who was further ahead and
Tails who was sitting on his head.
"So can you tell what the raccoon's names are when you meet them?" Miles asked Tails feiging
intrest.
"Of course!" Tails said flying off of Miles's head, "They are all called Jan."
After some time (hours, weeks, years who cares.) of trudging the forest trail Sonic,
Tails and Miles arrived at Knothole village where as usual there was a hustle of various animals.
Various groans came from the villagers when they saw Miles.
Ignoring them Sonic and Tails went directly to Princess Sally's hut dragging Miles with them.
Princess Sally was cooking some nuts and styff when Sonic walked in.
"Sonic! You're back allready, i've not got dinner ready yet..." Sally started before noticing
Miles. "...Darn, there goes the forest." She concluded.
"Hi." Miles said geekily shaking the Princesses paw.
"Lemme guess, furry?" The princess asked shaking her head.
Miles looked blankly at the princess, "Well Miss Squirrel, I have a tail now if that's what you
mean..."
"He's not a furry then..." Sally echoed looking at Sonic.
"You arrived here by shimmering blue slash silver slash gold slash some coloured vortex or just
woke up here?" Sally continued her questioning.
"No miss, I was in a chemical labratory when..." Miles tried to say as Sonic, Tails and Sally
interupted with, "Something caught fire!"
"Not quite," Miles recovered, "Yes the fire alarm went off but there was no fire, I left by
the emergancy door, found out there was no stairs on the other side, slipped landed in a patch
of moss here."
Sally fiddled unintrested with her hair, "That's diffrent at least."
"How do you mean, I get the impression I'm not the first person this has happened to." Miles
said probingly.
"Give that human a chocolate biscuit." Sally laughed.
"Oh, right." Miles said unhappily, "So how do I get out?"
Sally stopped fiddling with her hair at that.
"You want out?" Sally said slightly agog.
"Yeah of course I want out, I'm turning into a cat or something for crying out loud, of course
I want out." Miles frustradily shouted emphsising his point by taking hold of his tail.
"Nobody has wanted out, or got out before." Sally started, "There's the raccoon down the road..."
"He's not called Jan, by the way." Tails interupted.
Sally blinked and continued, "And there's the badger, the Squirrel, the other hedgehog and
of course the foxes that all were once human and came here."
"So I'm going to be a cat??!" Miles asked tears forming on his eyes.
Sally shook her head and confortlingly said, "I can't see that happening, cat's aren't woodland
critters."
"Gee, that fills me full of hope." Miles said sarcasticly.
"Good!" Exclaimed Sally ignoring his sarcasm.
"Right now how you going to earn your keep whilst you are here?" Sally enquired.
"Can you fight?" Sonic interupted.
"No, I can't really fight at all. I was a chemisty student after all." Miles replied.
"I think that also rules out operating hyper-advanced technology that even we don't understand
and spying as well." Sally paraphrased.
"Princess Sally, Why did you paraphrase that last comment?" Sonic asked quietly.
"I was running out of different words for Said." Sally replied.
Miles suddenly smiled brightly.
"You were running out of things to say?" Miles directly enquired.
"Oh, I mean the writter was forcing me to paraphrase when I didn't want to, satisfied?" Sally
retorted.
"Ah, sorry." Miles poutly apologised.
Tails shook his head confused, "I wanna end this thing."
At that moment the big red light above the computer started flashing.
Incoming call
=============
"Trust you lil' buddy." Sonic said shaking his head sadly.
"Hey it moved things on." Tails protested.
"Ahhh Princess Sally." The monotonic voice of Dr. Robotnik came over the computer.
"I see you have found yet another human for me to toy with."
"Sorry Robuttnik, this one's freaking even us out." Sonic interupted.
"Pardon?" Dr. Robotnik said confusedly, "He's not another hero for the freedom fighters?"
Miles shook his head, "Nope."
Dr Robotnik's image appeared on the computer as it spoke, "But he has a tail!!"
"Yes he does, and it's not a forest creature's tail, hence he should not be here..." Sally
corrected.
Dr. Robotnik's image turned quite pale, "Well I found a human myself today, she claimed she
was looking for the freedom fighter army or something. So I sent her home." The computer
relayed.
Sally snapped her paw, "Drat what a terrible shame." The mock irony quite evident in her voice.
"So you can send me home?" Miles said his eyes lighting up brightly.
Dr. Robotnik blinked and muttered, "He wants to go home??!"
Before Miles could reply Dr. Robotnik nodded, "Yes I will send you home, just close your eyes
and count to ten or some nonsense."
"That will get me home??" Miles asked looking doubtful.
"No that will enable my satellites to triangluate your position and rain down death from above
with large big lasers onto Knothole. OF COURSE IT WILL GET YOU HOME!" Dr. Robotnik screamed.
"Seesh," Miles complained as the room around him started to shimmer slightly, "I was only
asking."
Epilogue
========
With that Miles was home and lived the rest of his life as a chemical engineer eventually being
turned into a pile of bright blue dust (with magical powers and able to speak five languages but
still just bright blue dust.) when he misread the contents of a bottle.
Sonic never managed to get his dinner with Sally who went to live with Dr. Robotnik and form
a parternership of evil and eventually take over the local sector of space.
Tails was never heard of again after he went into the forest to look for more shiny things, it
is believe he found the sacred "city of shiny things" and is living there happily.
As for the other semi-intelligent animals of Mobius they found the evil parternship enabled
Mobius to become a place of fear and dread, thus they formed a committe and are now each
earning more then 500k a year.
It's believed that from time to time folks still do visit Mobius either just waking up there
or by going to close to shimmering coloured things. They tend to find the whole place very
boring now they need a permit to metamorphsis into a semi-intelligent animal.
Now time for the three (and a bit, just a bit) Crossovers, how you ask when the story has
finished well a little like this;
It was just another other day in the forest (yes that is correct syntax and grammer) and
Sonic and tails came across the horrific site of A CROSSOVER CONVENTION, there standing
in the middle of a clearing (well if they were standing in the middle of a tree it'd be worth
mentioning but they where just sorta lounging around in the clearing going "Hrrm.") was
A young grey foxwolf boy wearing a top hat, a similar young and just as cute fox girl wearing
dungarees, a strange looking adult fox wearing plain shorts and a "Yiff me" t-shirt and
a small cute almost anthropomorphic kitten. But they all vanished in a puff of smoke so it
wasn't really worth mentioning after all.
END!
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Meets, greets and chocolate treets:
Runt-Abu would like to thank;
Joseph Nebus for unintentionally inspiring all this sillyness in the first place.
Dr Michael "Masem" Neylon also for inspiring this in a diffrent way.
DIC for producing Sonic the hedgehog cartoons that kept me entertained when I was a kid.
My little yellow chew toy, it helped quite a bit, honest.
David Simpson for creating Ozy(young grey foxwolf boy wearing a top hat) and Millie(young and
just as cute fox girl wearing dungarees)
Jim Groat for generic fox #1 (adult fox wearing plain shorts and a "Yiff me" t-shirt)
Fred Perry for Britanny Diggers (small cute almost anthropomorphic kitten)
Sly, Orona_Red, Alpha X-Ray Lundra (as usual), OkkayWarner, Acmemouse, Mintaka, Taperlass, P3,
Davidmouse, Rhiacat, Pinky, Neucoyote, Kinkyturtle and Frostbite for random sillyness and hugs.
If (*shock horror*) you liked this and would like to see more of the same please emsg the
author at Fionacat@furry46.freeserve.co.uk and tell him and he'll write some more!
"No that will enable my satellites to triangluate your position and rain down death from above
with large big lasers onto Knothole."