This is basically going to be the weirdest thing you've ever read. My cousin gave me the idea, and I couldn't get it out my my mind. Contains general smut, crack, OOC'ness, and some fluff. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own MARVEL or any of their affiliates. I am not making any money by writing this. It is for entertainment purposes only.

Brianne's P. o. V:

"I know you don't want to go, but you have to. They've all been waiting to meet my beautiful wife," Loki wheedles.

"Ugh, fine, I'll go. Doesn't mean that I have to like it," I grumble. Loki looks at me, smirking. "What?"

"I thought you might say something like that, so I bought you these," he explains, holding up a pair of underwear. I take off my old underwear and put the new ones on. There is something in the crotch, and I fidget.

"What do these do?" In explanation, Loki presses a button on the remote that's hidden in his hands. Instantly, a buzzing begins between my legs. I squeal at the unexpected sensation, but soon grow accustomed to it. With another click of the button, the buzzing stops. "This'll certainly make dinner interesting."

"Finish getting dressed. We need to get going soon." Quickly, I finish my makeup and put my shoes on. Loki adjusts his tie, and we walk out of the door. Loki begins the buzzing as soon as we get in the car, and ends it as soon as we arrive at our destination. Needless to say, by the time that we get to the restaurant, I'm feeling incredibly hot under the collar.

Loki comes around the side of the car and opens my door for me. I step out, stumbling a little. Loki laughs. "Feeling a bit shaky there?" I nod, blushing. "Come on. You'll feel better after we go in." We make our way inside quickly, not wanting to be late.

Thankfully, we get in before Loki's business partners do. It would make a bad impression if we weren't there to meet them. Loki has my panties on the low setting, leaving me flushed. At last, the people we are meeting arrive. We shake hand and introduce ourselves. "Hello, Mrs. and Mrs. Laufeyson. It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Mr. Wong, and this is my wife."

"Enchanted," I murmur, not trusting my voice. The hostess comes over and seats us, much to my relief. As we begin talking, Loki turns the vibrations off. However, as the conversation turns towards business, he turns it on again, higher than before. I cross and uncross my legs under the table, trying to hide my reactions. Suddenly, Loki is snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Earth to Brianne," he smiles knowingly. Mr. and Mrs. Wong look at me worriedly.

"Are you okay?" Mr. Wong asks. I nod, laughing a little.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just a bit tired." Conversation resumes, and I zone out again. The food comes, and we eat, but I barely taste anything. My mind is occupied on the buzzing between my legs. It is not enough to bring me to orgasm, but it brings me right to the edge. At last, the meeting concludes, and we say our goodbyes.

"It was a pleasure meeting you and your wife, and I look forward to doing business with you," Mr. Wong concludes, offering his hand. Loki takes it.

"Likewise." With that, we go our separate ways. The walk to the car seems like it takes forever, and I keep stumbling. At last, Loki takes pity on me and shuts the vibrations off. I breath out a sigh of relief.

"So, how did the meeting go?"

"You were there, so you should know." I smack Loki gently.

"I was a bit preoccupied, and you know it." We both laugh, and Loki begins driving, starting the vibrator again. Suddenly, a thought crosses my mind. Two can play at this game. Stealthily, I reach over and place my hand on Loki's crotch. The car swerves a little bit, and I chuckle. Thankfully, we are alone on the road.

I can feel Loki's erection growing under my hand, showing that I'm having some manner of success. The ride home goes by quickly, but I am thankful that we are home. As soon as my mom, who was babysitting, sees us come up the driveway, she leaves the house. I'm thankful that she does, since it means that we can go straight to the bedroom. Our daughter, Lacy, should already be in bed.

Unfortunately, when we enter the house, our daughter is up and waiting for us. Loki hurriedly pushes me in front of him, trying to hide his erection. However, it's just a second too late.

Lacy rushes over and tries to get to Loki. We maneuver together, trying to keep Loki behind me, but we're no match for our six year old. She manages to slip in between us, despite our best efforts. I back away from Loki, knowing that the game is up.

His erection tents his pants, making itself obvious. "You brought me a present!" Lacy squeals. Before I can protest, she has reached out and grabbed it. Loki makes a strangled choking noise and pulls away.

"Lacy, honey, we don't just grab people like that!" I scold her. Instantly, tears start welling in her eyes. "You wouldn't want anyone to do it to you, so don't do it to anyone else, okay?" Lacy nods seriously.

"So there's no present?" she asks sadly. I shake my head.

"Not tonight, honey."

"Then what was daddy hiding?" she asks innocently.

"It was just his phone, darling. Come on. It's time for all good girls to be in bed." I turn to Loki and whisper, "It's time for all bad girls to be in bed, too." Loki winks at me, and we guide Lacy up the stairs to her room. She gets into bed, and I tuck her in. After kissing her goodnight, I exit her room and close her door. My feet carry me down the stairs and back to Loki.

His mouth meets mine as soon as we are close enough. "Now, where were we?" he asks, kissing me passionately. The buzzing in my underwear intensifies, and I muffle a moan against his lips. Before I can protest, Loki scoops me up and carries me up the stairs to our bedroom.

He makes short work of removing my clothes, leaving me in only my underwear. I help him out of his shirt, followed closely by his pants. Soon, he is left standing in his boxers. I rush to the bed, waiting for Loki to join me.

I do not have to wait long. Loki moves his body over mine, capturing my lips with his. A hand rolls my nipple around, causing excitement to shoot to my belly. I moan, bucking against Loki's hand. Unable to take it any longer, he rips my underwear off.

As the cool air hits my sensitive folds, I rub up against Loki, craving more attention. He happily complies, working his way downwards. His fingers slide between my folds, rubbing my sensitive clit with each stroke. Shudders run through my body, and I cum.

Loki continues rubbing me as I ride my orgasm out, waiting for me to regain coherence. "You're sopping wet," Loki murmurs against me. I moan in agreement.

"I need you inside of me, Loki!" Loki happily complies, positioning himself at my entrance. With a single thrust, he fully sheaths himself in my body. Short moans escape me as he continues thrusting. My fingers twist in his hair, pulling him closer to me. I can feel my insides clenching, warning me of my impending orgasm. "So close," I pant.

"So am I," Loki agrees, his movements becoming erratic. He thrusts into me one more time, causing us both to tip over the edge simultaneously. I cum with a loud moan, which masks the sound of our bedroom door opening.

"Mommy? Daddy? What are you doing?" My body freezes, startled by the sudden appearance of our daughter. Loki immediately pulls himself out of me.

"Mommy was cold, so daddy was warming her up," I offer weakly.

"Do you get cold often, mommy?" she asks, the picture of innocence.

"Yeah, mommy gets cold very easily," I agree, mostly to humor her.

"I knew it!" she whispers, as if some important truth has just been revealed to her. I shoot Loki a questioning look.

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I've seen daddy keeping you warm a couple times, but I didn't bother you because you were busy," she explains. I nod, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Oh, okay, honey. Was there something you needed?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"I'm thirsty, and I want a glass of water." I sigh, glad that I decided to keep a nightgown under my pillow. Quickly, I slip it on and get out of bed. I can feel cum dripping down my leg, and I pray that Lacey doesn't see it. Of course, her sharp eyes manage to pick up on it. "What's that, mommy?" she asks, pointing to my leg.

"It's sweat, honey, from daddy warming mommy up." Lacey seems satisfied with this answer, so I mop it up with the edge of my nightgown and go get Lacey a cup of water. She takes it and returns to her room, shutting the door behind her. I return to Loki.

"Well, that could have been a lot worse," I whisper into Loki's bare chest. He agrees, forcing me to lift my head to kiss him. The kiss quickly grows more passionate, and Loki ends up on top of me again.

He has just started getting into a rhythm when I see the door opening again. Loki quickly pulls out and swears. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he growls. I silently agree with him. Lacey is standing in our doorway, watching us.

"Mommy, how come you're cold again? You were sweating a little but ago." I bite back a groan.

"Honey, mommy gets cold easily. Why don't you go on back to bed, and we can talk in the morning, okay?" Lacey nods, then leaves. I breath out a sigh of relief when I hear her door clothes.

"Should we even try again?" Loki grumbles, only half joking.

"Eh, why not? I doubt she'll come in a third time." No sooner have the words left my lips than our door opens again.

"I give up!" Loki exclaims, rolling away from me. Lacey looks at him curiously.

"What did you give up on, daddy?"

"On keeping mommy warm. It's not going to happen tonight." Lacey walks into the room and comes over to my side of the bed. She lifts the covers off and crawls in next to me.

"I'll keep you warm, mommy," she coos, snuggling up next to me. Within seconds, she's fast asleep.

"Our daughter is a cockblock," Loki groans. I look down at Lacey's sleeping face.

"Yes, but she's an adorable cockblock." Loki grunts and rolls over and looks at Lacey. The look on his face softens.

"Yeah, she is. Goodnight, honey," he says, kissing me gently.

"Goodnight," I reply, kissing him back. Our daughter may be a giant cockblock, but she's our cockblock, and I love her. With that thought in mind, my eyes drift close, and I fall asleep.

All feedback is appreciated. Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! :D