CHAPTER 1

Pain. That's the emotion I've been feeling for the last 7 months. Ever since he left. Ever since I lost him. Because I wasn't enough. And I never will be.

Now I lost another person in my life.. Well not life- in my existence. Cause that is what I've been doing, just existing, not living.

Charlie's body was found in the woods yesterday. They said it was an animal attack but I knew better as soon as I saw his body.

At first the police wouldn't let me see him, but I managed to convince them. Jake and Billy tagged along which I'm grateful for.

Charlie's body was pale, bloody and ravished. It caused me to faint.

When I woke up I was at home with Jake on my side.

„Hey.." I say when I open my eyes.

„Hi, feeling better?" He asks, concern written all over his face.

„Nope." I answer, popping the p. „What did you expect?"

„Nothing really, I'm just worried about you, Bells.." Jake says softly.

„I know Jake, but let's just get everything over with as soon as possible.. That'll make me feel better."

XXX

We manage to have the funeral today, 3 days after Charlie's death. The police station helped a lot since Renee couldn't be here until today.

It's 3pm now and I'm sitting with Jake on a bench looking at people gathering for the ceremony. I'm wearing a black dress with a cardigan and flats. It's a wonder the weather is this nice and I'm thankful for it. Charlie would like it.

„He would be fishing with Harry now.." I tell Jake, breaking the silence.

„Yeah, there's no force strong enough to keep them inside on a day like this." He answers. „By the way, have you called Renee?" He asks.

„No, she texted me earlier, she should be here in a couple of minutes.."

„Oh, there she is!" He exclaims.

I follow his line of sight and see Renee running towards me. I get up and met her halfway. She hugs the life of me and that is enough for me to break down in tears.

„Oh, honey!" She says and hugs me tighter while kissing my temple.

„Just let it out, sweetie, mommy is here.." So I do what she says and cry and cry and before I know it the funeral is over and I am in my house with Renee, Jake and Billy.

They are sitting in the living room while I prepare some pasta for dinner in the kitchen.

„It's ready!" I yell and they pile up around our kitchen table and start eating.

When we all finish our meals I decide it is time for me to start talking about something I decided to do.

„Okay, I need you to listen to me with an open mind.. I have been thinking about this for a few weeks now and even Charlie agreed it would be for the best." I start.

They all look at me expectantly but don't say anything so I take that as a cue continue talking.

„I decided to move away from Forks." I state.

More silence.

I see Jake shaking on the chair and a few minutes later he bolts through the door. Billy looks at me apologetically but the first to speak is Renee.

„I think that would be good for you, sweetie. There is too much pain here. We understand." She tells me.

„Jacob will understand, too. You just have to give him some time to get used to the idea." Billy adds.

„Yeah, I know. I don't want to hurt him, but I have to do this." I said. „Just tell him to come by tomorrow, please."

„Where are you going? And when? You know the offer to live with Phil and me still stands, right?" Renee says.

„I know, mom. But I have to start on my own now. I'm leaving in a few days, when I finish packing. I'll travel for a while and decide where I'll stay on the road." I explain to her my 'plan'.

Yup, that's it. When I first started thinking about moving away I wanted to go somewhere the Cullens would be.. But then I decided not to look for them, not to look for him. I don't need them. This is my fresh start. I'll have a normal life somewhere new, away from all the pain. I know I will never be the same, but I need to try. And by not planning anything not even Alice would know where I am. Not that she would look for me or anything, but just in case.

„Okay, well I'm going to sleep now. I'll see you in the morning, good night!" I say and start retreating to my room.

„Night!" Renee and Billy say in unison.

A/N

I don't own Twilight or Vampire diaries.

I will update as soon as I write the chapters so I guess it won't be regular:)

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