It has been long.
It has been too long.
Describing this place seems redundant. I dare not even speak its name now. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know it.
The worst torture is this: knowing that the one thing I crave more than anything, even more than my freedom, is so very close, yet utterly denied me.
But soon, and very soon, it will all be over. I will be with my Rodolphus again.
The time is close at hand. He will appear before me as a mirage, a dream. A veil will fall from my eyes. He will take me into his strong arms and I will feel him firm against me.
He will lay me down gently and softly, in the dark seclusion of our own marriage bed. My body is his to do as he will. He will move slow and deliberate, though it tortures us both almost past the breaking point.
When we can wait no longer, he will enter me, enter into the sanctum of our love. We will grow and build and rise together until the world ends and there is nothing but we two.
My teeth will slide almost softly into him, and I will taste copper on his lips, the copper that tells me that he is only mine, forever. And then we will explode together.
And then the vision rescinds, and I am back in this hell.
But soon, and very soon, it will be done. Together with my Dark Lord, I will rise fiercer than flame and bring unholy terror such as can scarce be imagined unto those who have kept me from my beloved.
Soon, and very soon.
It has been too long.
Describing this place seems redundant. I dare not even speak its name now. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know it.
The worst torture is this: knowing that the one thing I crave more than anything, even more than my freedom, is so very close, yet utterly denied me.
But soon, and very soon, it will all be over. I will be with my Rodolphus again.
The time is close at hand. He will appear before me as a mirage, a dream. A veil will fall from my eyes. He will take me into his strong arms and I will feel him firm against me.
He will lay me down gently and softly, in the dark seclusion of our own marriage bed. My body is his to do as he will. He will move slow and deliberate, though it tortures us both almost past the breaking point.
When we can wait no longer, he will enter me, enter into the sanctum of our love. We will grow and build and rise together until the world ends and there is nothing but we two.
My teeth will slide almost softly into him, and I will taste copper on his lips, the copper that tells me that he is only mine, forever. And then we will explode together.
And then the vision rescinds, and I am back in this hell.
But soon, and very soon, it will be done. Together with my Dark Lord, I will rise fiercer than flame and bring unholy terror such as can scarce be imagined unto those who have kept me from my beloved.
Soon, and very soon.