A moment.
Thats all they had been holding hands for.
One moment.
And yet that was all that was required for someone to notice.
Dan was scrolling through his tumblr when suddenly an image came to his attention. His palms began to sweat, he could have sworn his heart was beating so loudly that Phil was sure to hear it and he couldn't think, his mind all over the place.
'Dan?' A voice in the distance called for him. 'Dan, are you okay?'
Snapping back into reality Dan let go of a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. 'Phil...'
Phil was trying to keep his voice at his usual, calm tone, but he was beginning to get worried; Dan had been staring at one page on his laptop for a considerably long time without moving and hadn't answered him when he had called for him. 'What Dan? What's wrong?'
Barely audibly Dan whispered, 'They know, they all know.' his voice suddenly gaining strength again.
'Who knows? What is this Dan?' Phil questioned.
'They all fucking know Phil!' Dan brushed his laptop swiftly from where it had been resting on his legs for the past hour or so and jumped up. 'There's a picture of us, one of the stupid fucking fans must have taken it and uploaded it.'
'Dan, calm down, it's fine, we'll sort it.'
'How Phil, how exactly can we just bloody well sort this, the post already has over 4,000 notes and I'm pretty sure it will have spread across to other websites by now. We had been holding hands for one fucking second and then this happens.' Dan had always had issues with being open about his relationship with Phil, even though they had been together since pretty much when they had first met, Dan had always been reluctant to show any signs of public affection between the two of them incase they were caught. 'Could they have at least kept the damn thing to themselves rather than posting it all over the internet. Fuck.' Dan started pacing around the room, unsure if he was going to do anything or not.
'Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Jesus Christ Phil. We've tried keeping it a secret for so long.' Dan never cried but he felt as though, at any moment he could suddenly turn into a sobbing mess.
They had always been careful about cropping parts out of their videos, never being public about their relationship, only telling close friends, not even their family, about their relationship and now, because of one person all of it could be exposed just that easily.
'Dan, people could just think that we were simply holding hands, nothing else. People understand that friends can hold hands.' Phil tried to offer Dan a reassuring smile as he got up and made his way over to where Dan was standing, looking considerably broken. Gently wrapping his arms around the other boys figure Phil leant into Dan and felt happier as Dan gave in and hugged Phil back; tears on the brink of falling. Phil always knew what to do, what to say, just how to make Dan feel happier about everything and anything, that was one of Phil's best traits. That and that, in Dans eyes, Phil was pretty much the most perfect human being in every single way, which he reminded Phil of every day.
Dan was weak.
People always presumed that Phil, appearing the more innocent and sweet of the two, would be the one with the most insecurities, the one who crumbles easily. But their presumptions were as far removed as they could be. As Dan began to cry into Phil's shoulder he realised just how weak he really was. How he couldn't even admit to the world that he was in love with Philip Michael Lester, that they had been together for four years and that Phil made Dan feel on top of the world, happier than he had even been in life. He had felt like he was constantly drowning before Phil, but when he had came along he had pulled Dan up from the mess he had allowed himself to become, saved him, both emotionally and physically. But Dan was too afraid to publicly say it; and he realised just how easily it could be exposed without him saying anything at all.
'Phil...'
'Yes Dan.' Phil pulled quickly away from Dan's embrace to look him in the eyes. He looked so sad. 'Dan, please, please, please don't worry about this. Just make a comment about how friends can always hold hands on twitter or on the original tumblr post. Don't worry, most people will believe you, sure, it's just maybe some of the phan shippers that might not; but they want to believe anything so don't even worry about it Dan.' looking eyes with the other he quietly continued, 'Dan, please don't be sad, okay. I love you, I really do okay. I understand that you worry a lot about what others think but please, for one second, just listen to me. It will be okay.'
Phil was always worried about Dan when he was like this, he knew how low Dan could feel, how easily he could pull of his act of always being happy; the sarcastic, witty, ever funny Dan that doesn't like to take things to seriously. But that was Danisnotonfire; not the boy standing in front of him; that was Dan. Dan Howell, the real person who was doubtful of himself and sad and a complex character that it seemed even Phil couldn't always understand.
'You have your live show tonight Dan, are you going to be okay for it?' Phil asked Dan sincerely, 'You don't have to do it you know, you've missed a week before, just say you were extra busy trying to perfect your video or something down those lines.'
'No Phil, I can't do that. I can't just not do it, I love doing the live shows, I'll be alright in time for that.' Dan pulled himself together. He didn't even know why he had been so upset over one photo, maybe he was just worried it would just spark more Phan rumours with more so-called 'Phan Proof'.
All that he could hope was that the live show would be better than he anticipated. 'Phil, wait.'
'Sure, what Dan?'
'Can I have another of your hugs please?' A small smile came to Dan's face, not much of a smile, but one at least.