"I went to Bartrands house alone when he came back to Kirkwall one night, to pay him back for what he did to me and Hawke in the Deep Roads. As soon as I walked in, I was captured by his boys and bound to a chair. I couldn't believe I was caught off guard that night. But the truth is, he knew I was coming.
"The song, Varric. I will make you hear the lyrium idol's wonderful song. Ha ha ha!" says an obviously mad Bartrand.
"The…song? You brought me over here for a stupid song?"
Bartrand whips out a piece of the idol from a box, and slowly walks closer to Varric.
"Uh, Bartrand? What are you…" Bartrand wasn't listening. He just kept approaching Varric slowly, with a sadistic grin on his face.
"Aw shit!" Varric struggled to break free from his bonds, but it was too late. Bartrand had already started what he set about doing. Bartrand simply held the piece in front of Varric's face, and suddenly, there was a flash of light. And then…the song began.
Varric next saw an image of a human dancing in place to the music in the background wearing shiny black shoes, white pants, and short red hair. The human began to sing:
We're no strangers to love.
You know the rules, and so do I.
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.
You wouldn't get this from any other guy…
"Of all the…this has to be the most despicable thing you've ever done, brother!" Varric yelled. The song continued:
Never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down.
Never gonna turn around and desert you.
Varric: "MAKE IT STOOOP!"
Never gonna make you cry.
Never gonna say goodbye.
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
Varric: "AAAARRGH!"
Then the scene switches to Varric and Cassandra during his interrogation.
"It was terrible. Terrible!" Varric said.
"Bullshit! That is not what happened. You honestly think I'm that stupid?" Cassandra balked.
"And how would you know, Seeker? I still get pissed off just thinking about it!" Varric retorted.
Cassandra just stood there with her arms crossed, giving Varric a "yeah, right" glare.
"*sigh*Alright, alright. Fine. You want the gory details? I'll give you the gory details…" Varric said, and he continues with his story…