!The Mazoku Penguin Project!
Up at the North Pole Xelloss and Dynasty sit on opposite sides of the barrier. Between them is a chessboard with the pieces already spread across the black and white surface creating the image of a complex pattern of well thought out moves. The two competitors had been playing on and off for over three hundred years. the same damn game. Beside Dynasty is a nameless minion who is rushing to scribble down the moves. Lord Dynasty stares intensely at the board, if he had laser beams instead of eyes the intensity would make the board EXPLODE!!!!! It would burst into a million pieces shattering like glass and falling crisply onto the thick layer off snow melting it and simmering and smoking and then the larger pieces of wood would be on FIRE! HOT RED BURNING FLAMES OF DEATH!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! But his eyes are not laser beams so none of that really happens (nut bunnies!) Xelloss is content to smile away eyes closed and staff at side as always, doing a damn good job of annoying Dynasty. Around them the Mazoku lords have gathered, intent on seeing the last leg of the legendary chess match. Yah right! They just want to see Mr. Frosty turn red in the face trying to put up with Xelloss.
Dynasty: (has finally made up his mind.) Queen to E5
Xelloss: Are you sure? (Picks up the queen.) B3 would be a much better place to put it. don't you think? (Proceeds to put it on B3)
Dynasty: NO! E5 E5!
Xelloss: Oh that's a bad place to put it. B3 is really much better (keeps the Queen on B3)
Dynasty: Put my queen on E5 NOW! You fruitcake! (Starts to claw at the barrier and is fried by black lightning. The other dark lords laugh at him) SHUT UP!!! (Sees Xelloss about to move his queen to E5) Thank you.
Xelloss: What was that? You changed your mind?
Dynasty: .no
Xelloss: B3 it is then! That was really a good choice (moves the piece back).
Dynasty: NO YOU IDOT! MOVE IT TO E5!!! NOW NOW NOW! (Bangs his hands against the barrier and is fried again. falls back into the snow) My baloney has a first name its d-u-c-k-i-e
Xelloss: (pouts) but frosty. I'm trying to help you! Don't you see it! B3 is a weak space I could do tons of stuff to you if you put your queen there! Now trust me E5 is a much better place. Here I'll make your move for you!
Dynasty: NO! NO! I want it on B3! (Scrambles out of the snow to stop the trickster priest) And don't call me Frosty.
Xelloss: Okay! (Puts the piece on B3)
Dynasty: (BIIIIIIIG sweat droop) I hate you.
Xelloss: My turn! (Moves his knight)
Dynasty: (staring icy daggers of death into Xelloss) if this barrier weren't here I would KILL YOU!!!!! (Tries to reach through the barrier again and is assaulted by black lightning.)
Beastmaster Zellas: (takes a puff of her cigarette) AWWWW is wittly fwosty getting his cold undies in a bunchy wunchy! (The dark lords have a good hardy laugh at that)
Deep Sea Dolphin: Mr. Handy can help you! (Holds up the blue shark sock puppet) He knows all sorts of things about chess Dynasty-chan!
Mr. Handy: I sure do! You should now move you king to N56!
Xelloss: (to Mr., Handy) Great Idea Mr. Handy! (Goes to move the king )
Dynasty: (Has worked himself into a coma trying to break through and move his bishop) BWITTTTTSLES! (Left leg twitches)
Garv: What was that Frosty? (Move closer to the barrier and cups his hand around his ear) You want to forfeit the game?
Dynasty: (left leg twitches again) ZIIIIIIIII BIIIZZZZZZZBIZZZZZ
Garv: Really? After all theses centuries. seems like a waste. But okay (shrugs and motions to knock over the chessboard)
Dynasty: (Is miraculously healed!) NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!! (Starts shaking his head faster than Shakiras hips) and quit calling me Frosty!
Deep Sea Dolphin: (Is in the background singing 'I'm a little tea cup' while doing the Macarena and Mr. Handy humming smooth criminal) ((the alien ant farm rendition))
Phibrizo: Its okay Dynasty, I'm on your side! I'll make your next move since Xelloss won't cooperate! (Doing the super cute thing )
Dynasty: (-.- turns to the little hellmaster) cut the act Phibrizo, what are you planning?
Phibrizo: What? (Acts surprised) I was just going move the pieces for you. since the others are being so mean! But if you don't want my help. (crosses his arms and turns around)
Mr. Handy: (placed right up in Dynasty's face) I'LL HELP YOU FROSTY!
Dynasty: I think I'll decline, thank you. (Backs away from the sock puppet) Fine Phibrizo. Bishop to F9
Phibrizo: (Turns around eagerly and is standing on tiptoe to reaching over Xelloss. He grabs for the bishop but reconsiders) Are you sure that's a good move?
Dynasty: yes. Now move it
Phibrizo: are you reeeeeeeeeeeeeally sure? Or do you just THINK you're sure?
Dynasty: (turning red again) I'm sure
Phibrizo: (Takes his hand back and looks thoughtful) cuz if you're not sure you shouldn't move
Dynasty: I'm completely positive!!! (Veins pop up all over his head)
Phibrizo: I think you need more time to decide Dynasty (nods his head knowingly and turns around to walk away.)
Dynasty: (Smoke coming out of his ears) GET BACK HERE AND MOVE MY BISHOP YOU LITTLE HELL BRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! (The fires of damnation burn like dark seething embers in the pits of his eyes and - )
Phibrizo: HEY! There's a service fee for using the fires of damnation! PAY UP LADY .38 CENTS! (Holds out his hand and the author begrudgingly gives over her life savings to the small incarnation of all that is evil.) ((Satisfied?)) Yes ((can we move on now?)) fell free! Oh! Wait! TAX! ((SHUV IT! THERE IS NO TAX HERE!!!!)) Fine! (Grumbling) ((Lets try again))
Dynasty: (Smoke coming out of his ears) GET BACK HERE AND MOVE MY BISHOP YOU LITTLE HELL BRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! (The fires of damnation burn like dark seething embers in the pits of his eyes and around him the ice and snow are steaming and melting away until he is standing in the slushy remains of ice. Which promptly freezes his feet to the ground) ((*^. ^* tee hee))
Phibrizo: I don't want to help you! You were mean to me!
Dynasty: (Starts pulling out his hair) ARE I BEING THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS HERE?! (Slams his head into the cold snow till it turns blue.)
Xelloss holds up a finger, Zellas smirks and takes a puff of her cigarette, Mr. Handy's eyes turn red, Garv takes in a breath, Dolphin's face goes SD and her eyes are all glassy and big, and Phibrizo turns around and doses the evil smile thing. A dark aura forms around all of them and the sky turns black and THE CLOUNDSSTRIKE UP A THUNDERSTORM AND THEN THE LORD OF NIGHTMARES COMES DOWN FROM THE HEAVES AND PRONOUCES THE APOCOLIPS AN THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!! WOMEN AND CHILDREN! MEN AND OLD FOLKS RUN AND HIDE FOR YOUR LIVE BECAUSE THEN END OF TIME IS APPROCHING!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Excuse me. ((Author walks off to get counseling)) All together now! : YES!
Dynasty: Someone kill me. Kill me now.
Dolphin: (Dazing off Look) Mr. Handy! There's SNOW here!
Everyone face faults.
FIN.
A/N HAHAHAH! I now have the greatest literary work ever conceived! . Okay maybe not but was it any good? Was it funny? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Marry it? Have two kids and a dog with it? Did you buy a little pink house and - never mind. just send a review please.? YAH!
Up at the North Pole Xelloss and Dynasty sit on opposite sides of the barrier. Between them is a chessboard with the pieces already spread across the black and white surface creating the image of a complex pattern of well thought out moves. The two competitors had been playing on and off for over three hundred years. the same damn game. Beside Dynasty is a nameless minion who is rushing to scribble down the moves. Lord Dynasty stares intensely at the board, if he had laser beams instead of eyes the intensity would make the board EXPLODE!!!!! It would burst into a million pieces shattering like glass and falling crisply onto the thick layer off snow melting it and simmering and smoking and then the larger pieces of wood would be on FIRE! HOT RED BURNING FLAMES OF DEATH!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! But his eyes are not laser beams so none of that really happens (nut bunnies!) Xelloss is content to smile away eyes closed and staff at side as always, doing a damn good job of annoying Dynasty. Around them the Mazoku lords have gathered, intent on seeing the last leg of the legendary chess match. Yah right! They just want to see Mr. Frosty turn red in the face trying to put up with Xelloss.
Dynasty: (has finally made up his mind.) Queen to E5
Xelloss: Are you sure? (Picks up the queen.) B3 would be a much better place to put it. don't you think? (Proceeds to put it on B3)
Dynasty: NO! E5 E5!
Xelloss: Oh that's a bad place to put it. B3 is really much better (keeps the Queen on B3)
Dynasty: Put my queen on E5 NOW! You fruitcake! (Starts to claw at the barrier and is fried by black lightning. The other dark lords laugh at him) SHUT UP!!! (Sees Xelloss about to move his queen to E5) Thank you.
Xelloss: What was that? You changed your mind?
Dynasty: .no
Xelloss: B3 it is then! That was really a good choice (moves the piece back).
Dynasty: NO YOU IDOT! MOVE IT TO E5!!! NOW NOW NOW! (Bangs his hands against the barrier and is fried again. falls back into the snow) My baloney has a first name its d-u-c-k-i-e
Xelloss: (pouts) but frosty. I'm trying to help you! Don't you see it! B3 is a weak space I could do tons of stuff to you if you put your queen there! Now trust me E5 is a much better place. Here I'll make your move for you!
Dynasty: NO! NO! I want it on B3! (Scrambles out of the snow to stop the trickster priest) And don't call me Frosty.
Xelloss: Okay! (Puts the piece on B3)
Dynasty: (BIIIIIIIG sweat droop) I hate you.
Xelloss: My turn! (Moves his knight)
Dynasty: (staring icy daggers of death into Xelloss) if this barrier weren't here I would KILL YOU!!!!! (Tries to reach through the barrier again and is assaulted by black lightning.)
Beastmaster Zellas: (takes a puff of her cigarette) AWWWW is wittly fwosty getting his cold undies in a bunchy wunchy! (The dark lords have a good hardy laugh at that)
Deep Sea Dolphin: Mr. Handy can help you! (Holds up the blue shark sock puppet) He knows all sorts of things about chess Dynasty-chan!
Mr. Handy: I sure do! You should now move you king to N56!
Xelloss: (to Mr., Handy) Great Idea Mr. Handy! (Goes to move the king )
Dynasty: (Has worked himself into a coma trying to break through and move his bishop) BWITTTTTSLES! (Left leg twitches)
Garv: What was that Frosty? (Move closer to the barrier and cups his hand around his ear) You want to forfeit the game?
Dynasty: (left leg twitches again) ZIIIIIIIII BIIIZZZZZZZBIZZZZZ
Garv: Really? After all theses centuries. seems like a waste. But okay (shrugs and motions to knock over the chessboard)
Dynasty: (Is miraculously healed!) NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!! (Starts shaking his head faster than Shakiras hips) and quit calling me Frosty!
Deep Sea Dolphin: (Is in the background singing 'I'm a little tea cup' while doing the Macarena and Mr. Handy humming smooth criminal) ((the alien ant farm rendition))
Phibrizo: Its okay Dynasty, I'm on your side! I'll make your next move since Xelloss won't cooperate! (Doing the super cute thing )
Dynasty: (-.- turns to the little hellmaster) cut the act Phibrizo, what are you planning?
Phibrizo: What? (Acts surprised) I was just going move the pieces for you. since the others are being so mean! But if you don't want my help. (crosses his arms and turns around)
Mr. Handy: (placed right up in Dynasty's face) I'LL HELP YOU FROSTY!
Dynasty: I think I'll decline, thank you. (Backs away from the sock puppet) Fine Phibrizo. Bishop to F9
Phibrizo: (Turns around eagerly and is standing on tiptoe to reaching over Xelloss. He grabs for the bishop but reconsiders) Are you sure that's a good move?
Dynasty: yes. Now move it
Phibrizo: are you reeeeeeeeeeeeeally sure? Or do you just THINK you're sure?
Dynasty: (turning red again) I'm sure
Phibrizo: (Takes his hand back and looks thoughtful) cuz if you're not sure you shouldn't move
Dynasty: I'm completely positive!!! (Veins pop up all over his head)
Phibrizo: I think you need more time to decide Dynasty (nods his head knowingly and turns around to walk away.)
Dynasty: (Smoke coming out of his ears) GET BACK HERE AND MOVE MY BISHOP YOU LITTLE HELL BRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! (The fires of damnation burn like dark seething embers in the pits of his eyes and - )
Phibrizo: HEY! There's a service fee for using the fires of damnation! PAY UP LADY .38 CENTS! (Holds out his hand and the author begrudgingly gives over her life savings to the small incarnation of all that is evil.) ((Satisfied?)) Yes ((can we move on now?)) fell free! Oh! Wait! TAX! ((SHUV IT! THERE IS NO TAX HERE!!!!)) Fine! (Grumbling) ((Lets try again))
Dynasty: (Smoke coming out of his ears) GET BACK HERE AND MOVE MY BISHOP YOU LITTLE HELL BRAT!!!!!!!!!!!! (The fires of damnation burn like dark seething embers in the pits of his eyes and around him the ice and snow are steaming and melting away until he is standing in the slushy remains of ice. Which promptly freezes his feet to the ground) ((*^. ^* tee hee))
Phibrizo: I don't want to help you! You were mean to me!
Dynasty: (Starts pulling out his hair) ARE I BEING THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS HERE?! (Slams his head into the cold snow till it turns blue.)
Xelloss holds up a finger, Zellas smirks and takes a puff of her cigarette, Mr. Handy's eyes turn red, Garv takes in a breath, Dolphin's face goes SD and her eyes are all glassy and big, and Phibrizo turns around and doses the evil smile thing. A dark aura forms around all of them and the sky turns black and THE CLOUNDSSTRIKE UP A THUNDERSTORM AND THEN THE LORD OF NIGHTMARES COMES DOWN FROM THE HEAVES AND PRONOUCES THE APOCOLIPS AN THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!! WOMEN AND CHILDREN! MEN AND OLD FOLKS RUN AND HIDE FOR YOUR LIVE BECAUSE THEN END OF TIME IS APPROCHING!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Excuse me. ((Author walks off to get counseling)) All together now! : YES!
Dynasty: Someone kill me. Kill me now.
Dolphin: (Dazing off Look) Mr. Handy! There's SNOW here!
Everyone face faults.
FIN.
A/N HAHAHAH! I now have the greatest literary work ever conceived! . Okay maybe not but was it any good? Was it funny? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Marry it? Have two kids and a dog with it? Did you buy a little pink house and - never mind. just send a review please.? YAH!