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disclaimer
I no own. I own dryer lint, candy wrappers, and teh computer. I don't even own teh Fruits Basket anime. I only own a hundred or so badly translated Furuba manga chapters on my computer.
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envy/
–n, a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages
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He has everything. He's loved by everyone. Always the "golden child" of the Somha house. They have him on display on a pedestal, while I'm tossed away in the trash.
Everyone is always cooing over him, over his flawlessness.
He has the looks, the grades, heck; he's even without difficulty stronger than me. Putting through no effort to have what I've spent years of my life working towards. He has the place I've always wanted, the place in the zodiac.
From the moment he joined in Shishou's training, a year later than when I first started to train earnestly. After abruptly appearing, without warning, at my training. The look of quiet amazement on Shishou's face the first time he beat the senpais. when Haru came back a few months later constantly praising Yuki. It hurt, these people were my friends. The rat took almost everything from me, and now was he back to take the rest of it? And my friends, Haru, Kagura, everyone betrayed me, being so friendly with my enemy. I knew, I could feel it, an aching, dark feeling deep in my bones, in my head, that he was taking over my place.
To have a place in life, that is an important thing. I want to be allowed to participate in the banquet, to be part of the zodiac, to have a future so bad, I would do anything. To have a purpose, to be acknowledged as an equal, not a monster. If I had that chance, I would make the most of it, and finally be a part of things, my part that the rat stole from me. Stolen because he's a selfish bastard, cold and unfeeling and just so cunning, so ruthless.
He doesn't deserve it. Throughout his life, he's been handed things, never having to do anything for himself. He lived such a pampered life he can't even do simple chores. Such a girly boy should be better at things like that, at being a housewife. He looks the part, after all.
This person, this rat, has been given everything he needs. Told to sit there and look pretty and be perfect, what he does best. Beauty is skin deep, and that thing was nice to look at but greed and pathetic and egotistical and altogether ugly inside.
A fact only I seemed to see.
I'm the disgrace, he's the prince. The irreplaceable, perfect prince. That's how it's always been. So self-centered, so spoiled, and then he tries to give me sad looks and worry Tohru needlessly with whatever's running through his royal head.
Automatically, people adore him. Everyone listens to him, wants to be around him. No one ever criticizes him, ever. Whereas me, I can be ignored, put down. Even people who don't know what I am, criticize me but never him.
I can't even imagine how wonderful his childhood was. Undoubtedly, full of indulgent parents, the best of schools, riches and toys, whatever he wanted. Look at Haru, look at Ayame. They're smitten with that selfish fool, always treating him delicately. Constantly trying to win his favor, trying so hard. And he pushes them away, everyone. So no one can break through the flawless mask, to see the useless and spiteful side underneath, the one that used people, used everyone for his own benefit.
He doesn't know what it's like to have no future to look forward to except for a lifetime of darkness and solitude in a bleak and empty room. To be reminded constantly that soon, they will lock you away. To have the guilt of ending two lives on your shoulders, knowing if you had done something differently, that my mother, Tohru's mother, they would still be alive.
I don't think he even knows what it's like to be hated, to be hurt. Nothing can touch him, because he's above it all, just because he's Akito's favorite. The closest to God.
No one has ever treated me with the care they show him.
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by T.E.B.E.-sway- completed 12/06/06, edited 12/06/08
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Okay, some things I wanted to point out. I know there are a lot of untrue things in here, that aren't fact. But this is the /opinion of Kyo, not the facts.
Notes on this (elongated) edited chapter-
I just added a few sentences and paragraphs here and there. I hope it still fits!
And also, when I said that Yuki joined Shishou's martial arts class a year later than Kyo started his official training, I totally made that up. But I figure Akito would've held all the power over Yuki's decision to train, and would be reluctant to give Yuki up.
And to my reviewers! (all 3 of 'em. emo)
Thanks to you nice reviewers, especially Mayuko-chan, I decided to see what I could do to make it longer. I think I got a bit repetitive, but I'm happier with it now. And yes Emmski, I am doing Yuki's POV also. I just need to make some (a whole bunch) of changes, and I'll have it up.
Thank you to those of you who reviewed, youshi, Emmski, Mayuko-chan. Your reviews meant a lot to me! (and gave me courage to write more. )
REVIEW!