I close my eyes and sink deeper into the bath.
Warm, steamy, wet all over my skin, sighing, I let my head roll back.
This is just what I need, relaxation. That is until Edward gets home from the hospital. He's been so busy lately and I hate that I have nothing to do during my evenings except wait for him.
I never used to be so impatient.
I'll admit I was spoiled back in college, with mom paying for everything from books to my tuition. "As long as this money is going somewhere, just do your best" or "try your hardest" how about "keep your head in your books!" But my head was looking around, for other things, something more enticing than my schoolwork. Looking for him, and boy did I find him: Edward Cullen, in my English literature class with bronze hair that I wanted to run my fingers through, which I have on numerous occasions. Renee was right about one thing, college was worthwhile. Oh well, I've thanked her haven't I?
Anyway, back to the present.
Me, sitting in the tub waiting for Edward when I hear it – the dreaded phone call that will tell me the worst news any doctor's wife wants to hear.
Lazily, I climb out of the tub, not caring for the water and bubbles sloshing out of the sides. Not even caring for the towel I folded on the toilet seat, I head straight for the bedroom towards the phone. It's on the nightstand, good.
"Hello?" In my cheeriest voice.
"Bella, look, I'm sorry honey I –"
Sigh. "I know how this is going to go," Ugh. This time he didn't even start it on a good note.
"What?"
"What, what?" He can be so infuriating at times, just say it. Tell me again.
"You know how what is going to go?" Oh no. Did I say that out loud? Oh well, he's my husband he has a right to know what I'm thinking. They should right that somewhere: Husband shall know what loving wife thinks at all times.
"Just say it, tell me that you'll be coming home late again. Working hard, I suppose?" I hated to leave it hanging like that, with implications. He didn't deserve it.
"Now what's that supposed to mean? I don't like it anymore than you do so don't just – "
"So don't just what? Don't complain, don't make you feel bad, don't be unreasonable?! Well I'm sorry but in marrying you I thought I'd actually be getting to spend some time with you after the honeymoon!" There, I said it. I miss you, I'm lonely, I need you. I want you and I love you.
"Bella, honey I… I don't know what to do here…one sec hon," Oh yeah, now he's all sugar. I wish I hadn't said anything. I don't want him to feel guilty, but I also knew I'd be able to hear his velvet voice say Bella. I like it. I love it when he says my name.
Waiting, waiting. I am impatient.
"I have to go, I have to take this on-call. I'll see you in a bit, I love you."
The line disconnects. I know you do.
Time is measured differently by doctors. An hour is a second in their time.
Or maybe it's me, maybe every second without Edward feels like an hour, either way I'm impatient. And I am selfish.
It took being without him for me to figure it out.