Author's Notes: The first of my short story series. Some of these will be inter-related, some not. Some crack, some serious, just whatever the hell ideas pop in my head that aren't enough for a full story or that I don't have the motivation to make a complete story. Almost all will be KaiShin, but otherwise, all bets are off as to what they'll actually contain.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Aoyama Gosho.

Ill-Fated

When Kaito drifted into consciousness that morning, he just had this feeling that he didn't want to get out of bed today. If he did, everything was just going to go wrong, because although he was one of Lady Luck's favorites, when she turned her gaze away from him, it was like she never existed. There was no middle ground – he either had the best luck in the world or the worst.

His premonition was enforced when he opened his eyes and had to immediately close them again as the world swam and all straight lines seemed to be wiggling. As his mind woke further from sleep, all the other signs trickled in. Every breath felt like he was sucking it from a sponge, said sponges felt like they were growing in his lungs, his head pounded as if Tantei-kun was worrying a soccer ball into the back of his skull, even awake he felt like his mind was drifting, and his stomach was merrily informing him that if he so much as twitched, he was going to get reintroduced to last night's dinner.

Kaito was sick.

He groaned and flopped an arm over his eyes. He couldn't be sick, tonight was a heist! Okay maybe so it was dead of winter and he'd been out until two in the morning last night in the snow preparing for it, but really? Sick now? How was he going to pull off a heist like this? And he couldn't just abandon it – Kid never missed a heist. He also couldn't ask Jii to fill in for him, tonight's heist was just too complicated. That had been why he'd been out so late last night anyways.

He couldn't be sick. Ignoring his stomach, Kaito rolled over and buried his face into his pillow with a groan. Ugh, he'd been drooling in his sleep again.

Obviously he was going to have to pretend to be not sick. First and foremost because if a certain three people found out, he'd never make it out of the house and tonight would be the first time in history Kid failed to show. That would be even more troublesome because one of those people would be Hakuba, and the damn detective would jump on that circumstantial evidence like a bloodhound. Kaito wasn't even sure how he'd wiggle out of that one, either.

The other two people were Aoko and his mother, and they came with their own slew of problems. Aoko, if she found out he was sick, would come over after school and proceed to bully him to staying in bed and then proceed to tease him as she kept him there. It was nice that she cared, he supposed, but damn she had a weird way of showing it. There were better ways to get him to stay in bed than taping scaly abominations to his door.

And his mother would be even worse. She was normally pretty easy-going, not caring where he was or when he came home as long as he left notes or called, but that did a complete one-eighty whenever he so much as sniffled. If she even suspected he was sick, she redefined the term "helicopter parent", never seeming to be more than ten feet away or leaving him for more than five minutes. And heaven forbid he tried to sneak past her when she was in that mood – the last time he'd tried, he'd found himself grounded and confined to his room for a week aside from school. He had no idea how she'd hidden all of his lockpicks and other supplies so thoroughly, or managed to somehow lock everything when he wasn't looking, but damn that had been the most boring week ever. Without even a deck of cards to amuse himself with he'd been about to commit suicide or just break down into tears. It was one of those times when he was forcefully reminded that she was his mother and thus knew him better than anyone, including what would hit him the hardest. That little bit of enforced fun deprivation had had him practically grovelling to her for the next month in the hopes that she never did it again. Kaito just couldn't handle being bored like that.

So, he definitely couldn't show that he was sick, otherwise he'd never get that heist done. Which meant he had to ignore how much his body was currently revolting and pretend to be perfectly fine.

It was okay, he was a magician, he'd perfected his Poker Face, he could do this, right? It would be easy.

He was forced to amend that thought as he sat up and nearly choked to death trying to hold back the explosive coughing fit that came over him.

This was going to be impossible. This was going to be the worst day ever.

An hour later managed to find Kaito upright and on a steady – if slow – track to school. Never before had he been so glad for his acting abilities.

Many, many glasses of water had helped the coughing situation slightly, enough to be able to hold it back until he was out of earshot of his mother. Of course, that meant as soon as he was a block or more form his house he'd had to double over and proceed to attempt to hack up his lungs every five feet or so, but he'd brought a bottle of water and would hopefully get the fits under control by the time he met up with Aoko.

Foundation and some slight make-up managed to cover up the fact that his skin was approximately the same shade as the snow he was walking through, aside from the flushed cheeks that had merrily informed him that he was running a fever – thirty-nine degrees Celsius the thermometer had read – but the foundation covered that too. Some eyedrops to clear out the glassy look in his eyes, and a literal mountain of sugar to feign the normal boundless energy he had, and even his mother hadn't seen anything wrong. His stomach was informing him that it would soon be revolting over the fact that he'd done nothing but feed it thirteen packets of Pop Rocks all morning – the only sugar he'd had in his room at the time – but it was a necessary sacrifice. With all the water he'd drunk he'd be going to the bathroom soon anyways.

He would be congratulating himself on such a splendid acting job if he could think beyond just wanting to turn around and go back home and stayed curled under his blankets until he felt less like laying down in the snow and dying. And he had to pretend to be fine for another fourteen hours at least, until he successfully escaped from his heist. Someone shoot him now.

"Kaito! You're late! I've been standing here waiting for ten minutes, I was about to leave and go on ahead!"

And now he had to deal with Aoko. Was a Kid heist really worth this?

As his best friend proceeded to scold him at the top of her lungs – did she not have volume control? Gods his head was already pounding – Kaito had to remind himself that his work was important. He couldn't sully his father's image by letting a little thing like being sick get in the way. Besides, certainly Toichi had pulled a few heists not at his optimal best either, right?

Clinging to that little bit of reasoning, Kaito dredged up all of his acting skills as he walked to school with Aoko, managing to pass as his normal, cheerful self even as he felt the sugar wearing off and a strange sense of distance come between him and the real world. Must be the fever that was making everything feel so fuzzy. He should have taken some aspirin.

Act normal, don't disappoint Dad became a mental mantra as he sat through school, only just remembering to pull a few pranks as Hakuba gave him an odd look. Kuroba Kaito, after all, never sat silently and angelically through the entire school day. Though his pranks weren't up to their usual standards, he'd managed to fib it off as the math test today and how he just didn't want Aoko screaming at him for disrupting her concentration. She'd huffed and proceeded to somehow insult him even as she complimented him for finally getting serious about school – why were they friends again? Some days Kaito really couldn't tell – and had left him alone. Her leaving him alone meant that she bothered other people, and that meant she picked Hakuba for today, and Kaito mentally thanked this one tiny shred of luck he seemed to have today. The blond was far too enamored of Aoko actually ditching Kaito to pay attention to him that Kaito's unusual restraint – the closest he ever got to listlessness – slipped from his mind completely, it seemed. All the better. That meant Hakuba wasn't suspicious, and Kaito was free to slouch in his chair and stare dumbly at his desk when no one was looking. It just got harder and harder to think as time wore on, like he was fighting through a mile of cotton candy just to process any thoughts.

Hopefully the adrenaline of a Kid heist would clear the cobwebs. Hopefully.

School finally ended after what seemed like an eternity of droning voices and several emergency trips to the bathroom – goddamn Pop Rocks – and Kaito wished he could just go home and sleep. But if he went to sleep, he probably wouldn't wake up again today, and that just wouldn't do. So he'd managed to ditch Aoko and Hakuba by setting them up on a tacit date – "A new ice cream shop just opened a few blocks away, Aoko. I'd go with you but mom wants me to do some errands. Why don't you drag blondie here along and try it out? He needs to eat more sugar, it might even make him act something close to a teenager!" – and retreat home as fast as his illness would allow.

Of course, this meant another four hours of dodging his mother, as well. Thankfully, she had been out shopping when he first arrived home, so he'd scribbled a quick note, changed clothes and grabbed up all of his heist supplies, and was out the door again before she was back, never the wiser. The less he had to act in front of his overly-perceptive mother, the better.

He spent the next few hours lounging near the heist zone, finding a book and coffee shop combo and staying there for most of it. To be honest, Kaito was hard-pressed to remember just what he'd been doing most of it, so out of it he'd been. He did know he'd been nursing some form of tea from the coffee shop for most of it, since he needed some sort of caffeine to keep going and tea was about the only thing his stomach hadn't rebelled at. He hadn't even eaten lunch, so the tea and the morning dose of sugar was all he'd taken in all day. Well, better than throwing up all over the heist target, he morbidly supposed.

The clock tower rang out seven chimes in the distance, bringing Kaito out of the semi-daze he'd fallen into in the book store. Right, time to begin the heist. Ignoring how the world had started wriggling again when he stood up, Kaito aimed himself in more or less the general direction of the heist building and started walking.

He would do this, illness or no. Kaitou Kid had to appear.

When Kaito next opened his eyes, all he could do was dazedly muse that he didn't really recognize the ceiling above him. Well, it felt familiar, but in a sort of way that told him he'd never had to appreciate it from this angle before – namely, lying flat on his back in a bed that obviously wasn't his.

His brain started cataloging the ceiling even as he tried to force himself in more awareness – plain white, no texturing, obviously Western style, maybe twenty or so years old – and tried to sit up. This was a bad plan, as the ceiling became a spinning blur, every muscle seemed to protest in agony as if he was one big bruise, and it took all his self-control to not flop over and start retching from the wave of nausea.

Right, still sick. Not good.

The pain and discomfort did wake him up a little, though. Enough to notice the faint sheen of glass over one eye. So he was still in uniform. Why? He was sleeping in uniform in some unknown house, why? Kaito felt he should probably be panicking, but that required too much thinking and energy, so he continued to stare listlessly at the ceiling.

What was he doing in uniform, anyways? He tried to groggily sort through his memories in hopes he'd discover why he was in some house and not, say, jail.

Right, Kid heist. Despite his illness, he'd just managed to complete it without any suspicion on the police's part. Hakuba hadn't been in attendance – perhaps Aoko had coerced him into spending the entire evening with her? If so, he'd have to treat her sometime in the future, a day of shopping maybe – so he'd only had to worry about the normal Task Force antics. That, thankfully, was child's play, so he'd gotten his target with no one the wiser about his current state.

Then...then...it had been time to escape, and although it had started snowing again, the wind had still be favorable, so he'd jumped off the roof to Nakamori's enraged yells and engaged his glider, and then...

And then?

Kaito felt himself frowning. That's where his normally pristine memory completely failed him. He had no recollection of what could have happened between his escape and waking up here. That was a little worrisome. Where was he?

"Ah, so you're awake."

That voice, so like his own. He knew that voice. Kaito turned his head automatically towards the source and didn't know whether to be relieved or really start panicking.

Kudou Shinichi stood in the doorway, arms crossed as he leaned against the frame, giving him a contemplative look.

That explained why he knew the ceiling but didn't recognize it – he'd been in the Kudou mansion before, but had never had the opportunity to nap in it. Mentally shaking himself away from the useless musing, Kaito licked his lips, hoping he could pull together his customary Kid mask while currently bundled up in what seemed like a mountain of quilts.

"Tantei-kun?" Kaito had to wince at the croak, was that really his voice? It sounded like he'd swallowed a whole damn swamp of frogs. His voice hadn't been that bad! Was he getting even sicker? That was a sad thought. Right, Kaito, focus on the detective in the room!

One dark eyebrow arched, and Kudou snorted. He moved forward, and Kaito tensed under the covers, trying to force limbs that felt like cooked spaghetti into some form of readiness. If he couldn't force himself to move, he was defenseless like this.

"Seems you're even sicker than I thought. What kind of idiot goes hang-gliding when it's below freezing out? You're lucky you didn't crashland into somewhere less hospitable, like a pond or something."

Crashland? That would explain why he felt like a giant bruise. He must have passed out mid-flight, thus losing control of his glider and being blown by the wind. It had been blowing towards Beika, hadn't it? It would explain why Kudou had picked him up, of all people.

Kaito hid his wince. Passing out while flying, how lame. But he'd hadn't had any other escape routes planned, and as fuzzy as his brain was, he just hadn't been able to think of any. He'd had no choice but to fly.

"Here."

Kaito blinked blearily, coming out of his thoughts – he had to stop doing that, Kudou was right there, pay attention to the detective! – as Kudou held something out towards him. Kaito squinted at it, it was...pills?

Kudou huffed at his lack of response, shoving the pills closer to Kaito. "It's some pain relievers, I bet you feel every bruise you got when you crashed into my roof. It should also help with the fever. Really, Kid, not only did you decide to fly hundreds of feet in the air in freezing weather, you do it while sick? It's a wonder you're still alive."

The roof? Huh. Yeah, he did feel it. Trying to stifle the slightly hysterical giggles at the images that brought up – Merry Christmas, it's Santa Kid, Kudou! – Kaito finally managed to dredge up the strength to move an arm and take the medication from Kudou's hand. He wasn't sure why he was in the detective's house and not jail, but if Kudou was going to play nurse, Kaito might as well accept it. It might make him feel human again, too.

Once he had the pills, Kudou grabbed somet5hing off the nightstand and also held it out. A glass of water. Taking that too, Kaito made an involuntary noise of surprise when Kudou stepped forward, slipping an arm under him and levering Kaito into a sitting position. Kudou gave him a strange look at the noise, but otherwise remained silent, giving the water and pills a pointed look. Right.

Repressing more giggles – really, he should stop thinking about Kudou in a nurse's outfit, that was causing all kinds of weird and conflicting feelings – Kaito obediently took the pills and washed them down. He didn't even realize he was thirsty, either, until he'd drained the entire glass afterwards as well.

Kudou watched him in silence, taking the glass after he'd emptied it and setting it back on the nightstand. He then lowered Kaito back onto the bed and straightened up. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you up again when it's time for more."

As the detective turned, Kaito couldn't help the single word that blurted out. "Why?"

Why was Kudou doing this. Why wasn't he in jail. Why why why...

Kudou paused, then just sighed, the sound inaudible. "...Just sleep, Kid. I'm not going to turn you in because you have no survival sense to speak of. Once you're able to move, though, I really do expect you out of my house or I will call the police."

With that, the detective left.

Kaito wanted to protest, because that wasn't an answer at all, he wanted to call Kudou back and demand a real one, but between the medication, illness, and his own fatigue he found himself slipping into a strangely blissful sleep, full of an intense but oddly-relaxing shade of blue.