For her Life
SM Owns Twilight
Post-Eclipse: The kiss on top of the mountain changes everything for Bella. She realizes she loves Jake too much and needs more time to see where their relationship can go. The battle ensues and Jacob dies. What will she do now?
"NO!" Edward screams and falls to his knees.
"What? Edward, what?"
He doesn't answer her, but picks her up and runs at top speed. She sees everyone in a circle, except for Jasper and another little vampire.
"Jacob," Edward chokes out.
Bella runs to the gathering crowd.
"Move!" she yells.
They move and Bella screams.
Jacob's body is slit open, his intestines and organs are spilling out onto the field.
She sees Carlisle trying to help, but deep down, she knows it's over.
"Jake!" she screams, running over to him. She picks up his head and puts it in her lap.
"Bells," he croaks out.
She can smell the blood, but she ignores it, concentrating on Jacob.
"Jake! No! Please, please, don't die!"
"I love you, Bells. Tell.." he groans, "tell my dad that I love him and that I'm sorry. He's got..." another groan, "he's got no one now. Bells..."
"Jake, I love you!" she whispers, leaning over and kissing his forehead, not caring that the pack and the Cullens are watching. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is all my fault. Everything that's happened, it's all my fault. I'm sorry. Jake, I'm sorry I never realized it sooner. You were right! You were always right!" she cries. "I love you, Jake. Please don't die."
Her plea falls on deaf ears.
Jacob's already dead.
She shakes him.
"Jacob?"
His eyes are still open and they are looking up at her.
There is no life in his eyes.
"Jacob?"
She looks up at the people around here. They have to help.
Quil and Embry are crying; they're not even bothering to hide it. Seth is sitting on the floor, hiding his head behind his hands, shaking. Sam, Paul, Jared have tears running down their faces.
"Carlisle?"
"I'm sorry, Bella." If a vampire was capable of tears, Carlisle would already be crying. She looks up at the rest of the Cullens, Rosalie actually looks sad. Emmett and Alice have blank expression on their faces, and Esme and Edward look positively heartbroken.
She hears a roar and they all turn to see Leah phase into a wolf and attack the newborn vampire.
"It's better this way," Jasper tells Carlisle. "The Volturi won't have a chance to torture her, and we won't be punished for letting her live."
"The Volturi!" Alice gasped.
Jacob's death had temporarily put everything else on hold.
"Sam, you must leave. These vampires are ten times more dangerous."
"I'm not leaving Jacob!" Bella cries.
"Embry, please take Bella back to the reservation with you. We will go and cut off the Volturi before they come here," Edward said, walking towards Bella.
"I'm sorry, Bella."
She didn't hear him. All she could do was stare into Jacob's dead eyes.
Carlisle walked over and bent down, closing Jacob's eyes.
The pack gathered around and carefully lifted Jacob. Carlisle had done what he could to put his organs back inside. Embry walked over and picked up Bella.
These were not the arms that had carried her up the mountain the day before.
She cried into Embry's shoulder the entire way back.
XXX
Charlie was at Billy's and heard the ruckus outside. He opened the door and was stunned to see the pack carrying Jacob.
"Jake!" Charlie yelled, jumping off the porch and running towards them. "What happened?"
"Wolf attack," Sam replied.
"We have to get him to a hospital."
"It's too late, Chief Swan."
"WHAT?" Billy asked, rolling himself out onto the porch. "Sam, what do you mean it's too late."
"Sam?" Charlie asked, horrified.
Sam shook his head.
"I'm sorry."
XXX
Bella runs away to the garage.
Jacob exists here. He's alive here. She holes up in the backseat of the Rabbit, and wraps her arms around herself, trying to hold herself in.
She doesn't know how long she's been there when someone opens the door and yanks her out.
It's Leah.
She snaps her fingers in front of her eyes.
"It's your fault he was there in the first place. You are the worst thing that's happened to him, to this pack, to this reservation! You strung him along and he fought for you each and every day! Do you get that? He died out there for you! That whole fight was about making sure you would stay alive. Alive as a human! He died for your life! If you go and get turned into a leech, then just go and spit on Jacob's body right now! If you do get changed into a leech, it means he died for nothing!"
Leah walked towards the door, but stopped and turned back around.
"You took a son away from his father, a brother away from his sisters, an Alpha away from his pack, and the Chief away from our tribe. Do you get that? You destroyed our tribe. I hope you burn in hell for all the lives you've ruined. I'm not just talking about Jacob or the rest of us. I'm talking about all the people that were turned into leeches, and all of the people who became meals for those leeches. It's all your fault. That red head wanted you, and she killed alot of people to get to you. I wonder how you live with yourself, Swan."
XXX
Embry came for her a few hours later.
"Come on, Bella. Come inside the house."
Bella walked out of the garage and made her way to the house. Billy and Charlie were in the living room, crying.
She had a message for Billy, but waited till Charlie excused himself to the bathroom.
"Billy?" Billy looked up when she called his name. "Jake, he said, he told me, he asked me to tell you that he loves you and he's sorry," she sobbed out. She couldn't bring herself to tell him what Jacob said about Billy not having anyone anymore.
Billy didn't say anything. He just cried.
The loss of Jacob meant he was now alone, confined to his wheelchair, in this little red house that carried so many haunting memories. The loss of Jacob meant Billy lost another piece of Sarah.
"I'm sorry, Billy. I'm sorry."
XXX
Bella sat at the table while Charlie made the phone calls.
"Rachel?" he asked. "It's Charlie, Charlie Swan. Rachel, you have to come home. Jake..Jake died."
Bella cringed when she heard screaming at the other end of the line.
"A wolf attack."
He hung up the phone a few minutes later and waited a second before dialing Rebecca's number.
The same scream echoed through Bella's body and she ran to the bathroom to throw up.
XXX
Emily, Kim, and Leah came over later and started cooking and cleaning. Sam, Jared, and Paul started checking the house for problems, and tried to fix them.
They truly were a community.
Bella wonders what would have happened to Charlie had she died? Who would take care of him?
Sue walks into the house, her arms full of food. She sets everything down in kitchen and comes back to sit with Bella.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I know you were close to him."
"Sue, what's going to happen to Billy. He needed Jake for so much."
Sue doesn't answer because she doesn't know what to say.
XXX
Before Charlie and Bella get in the car to go home, Charlie grabs Bella and hold onto her tightly.
"Please, Bella, don't ever make me go through that," he begged.
XXX
Edward's waiting when they get back. Charlie ignores him completely and just goes inside the house.
"Bella, I'm so sorry."
She nods.
He takes her hand.
It's too cold.
"Edward, I..I just need to be alone," she says, not looking into his eyes when she says it because she knows he will be hurt.
"I want to help you, Bella."
"You can't. No one can."
XXX
She sits in her rocking chair and stares at her wolf bracelet.
Jacob's dead. He died. He's never coming back. He won't look at her with those dark eyes, he won't tease her, he won't hold her, and he won't make her laugh ever again.
She thinks about his last words.
How very Jacob it was for him to be concerned about his father in his last moment of life. He was so young, but so mature. His sisters fled the rez and left their younger brother to care for their handicapped father.
She got up and ran down to the kitchen.
It was her fault that Jacob died.
She would do everything in her power to make sure Billy was taken care of.
XXX
It was two in the morning and all of the racket from the kitchen kept Charlie up.
He walked downstairs to find Bella cooking and packing food.
"Bells?" he asked, concerned.
"I have to take care of Billy. He's all alone now," she said, looking up at her father helplessly.
Charlie stares at her for a minute before walking over to stand next to her.
"How can I help?"
XXX
Bella goes up to her room at four a.m., and is shocked to see Rosalie Hale standing at the window.
She says good night to her father and closes the door.
"Rosalie?"
Rosalie looks thoughtful and wanders around the room, looking at Bella's things.
"It's been a long time since I've been in a human's room," she said.
Bella sat down on her bed and crossed her legs. She was tired, and the pain in her heart wouldn't go away.
"Those men who violated me, they didn't care for my life. One of them was my fiance, he was supposed to love me and protect me above all else, but he didn't."
Bella had heard this story before, and she didn't know why Rosalie was telling her this again. She turned to face Bella.
"Jacob, he died FOR YOUR LIFE. He died, saving you, protecting you. He fought for your humanity. Edward's been fighting for your humanity. I've been fighting for your humanity. How many more people have to die before you realize what it means to be human?"
Rosalie left through the window, leaving Bella crying into her pillow.
XXX
"Dad?"
"Yeah, Bells?"
"How...how is Billy going to pay for the funeral arrangements?" She's thought this since she's been up. She knows Billy and Jacob were never well off...financially, and a funeral could be expensive.
"I'm going to pitch in Bells," Charlie answers softly. "Jake's a son to me."
"I want you to take my money too. It's not a lot, but please take it. Please."
Charlie nods and they drive the rest of the way in silence.
XXX
Charlie drops off Bella at the Black house early the next morning. Billy isn't up yet. He's going to go to the funeral home to check on the arrangements.
Bella and Charlie went to the grocery store before they headed to La Push, and Bella stocked the refrigerator with the food that she made the night before.
Rachel and Rebecca are due to arrive in the morning, so Bella prepares breakfast.
She hears the shower running and knows Billy's up. She wonders if maybe he doesn't want her here.
"Bella, you're here early," Billy comments.
She's surprised to see he has no hatred in his eyes.
"I...I.."
"Jacob loved you very much.
She nods, the tears already flowing down her face.
"I know. I love..loved him too. I just realized it too late. I'm sorry, Billy. I'm so sorry."
He doesn't say anything, but rolls himself back to his room.
She brings him a tray of food.
XXX
Bella hears cars pulling up to the house. She goes to the window and sees that Embry and Quil get out of the car with two girls she recognizes immediately.
Rebecca and Rachel.
They've obviously been crying.
"DAD!" Rachel yells as she and Rebecca enter the house.
"Rach? Becca?" Billy asks, rolling himself out to the living room. He cries as Rebecca and Rachel sit on their knees and hug their father, crying into his shoulder.
It's such a private moment that Bella leaves the house and runs out to the yard.
She doesn't know where to go.
Jacob's not here anymore. He won't go with her to the garage. He won't hold her hand as they walk along the beach.
There's no where to go, here, at La Push.
XXX
There isn't a cloud in sight on the day of Jacob's funeral. The sun is shining down in La Push, and Bella can't help but take her eyes off the casket and look up to the sky and feel the warmth coming from the sun.
It's a sign.
It's Jake.
He's looking down on her, on all of them.
She kisses his casket.
"I love you, Jake. I miss you."
XXX
She walks around La Push aimlessly, and finally makes her way to tree stump at the beach where she and Jacob spent so much time.
Bella pulls up her knees and wraps her arms around them. She closes her eyes as the images start to flow through her mind.
Jake & Bella with their two dark haired children, Charlie and Billy playing with their grand children, Jake & Bella, older now, waiting for their kids to come home from college, and a gray haired Bella and Jake playing with their own grandchildren.
The force of the images hits her so hard that she's gasping for breath.
"Bella, are you all right?" Embry asks as he kneels in front of her.
"Bella?" Quil asks, rubbing her back.
"What happened, is she all right?" Seth's voice boomed over the others.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"Did you really think we'd leave you alone? You were important to Jacob, and we will always protect you."
She sobs as Quil carries her back to the little red house.
XXX
The luncheon at the Black house is a somber affair, until Rachel bumps into Paul, and all hell breaks loose.
She stands there and stares at them, wondering what Jacob would think of Paul imprinting on Rachel.
She pictures the look on Jacob's face, and knows what words will come out of his mouth, and she laughs.
Billy looks at her, and smiles.
He knows exactly what she's thinking about.
XXX
She walks into Jake's bedroom and looks around the room.
"Did you love my brother?" Rebecca asks from behind her.
"Yes, but I didn't realize it until it was too late."
Rebecca stares at her for a minute before leaving the room.
XXX
Alice is waiting when she finally gets home.
She doesn't want to see Alice right now.
"If you need anything, Bella, we're all here for you."
XXX
She's over at the Black house everyday for the next two weeks until Billy tells her they have enough food to last them for several months.
"Are..do..do you not want me to come here anymore?" she asks tearfully.
"Bella, you are welcome here," he insists. She doesn't understand how he can be so kind to her when falling in love with her sealed his son's doomed fate.
After leaving Billy's, she drives over to Emily's house.
"How are you?" Emily asks, concerned.
"Lost. I don't feel the same about anything anymore."
XXX
She's ready to see Edward again, or so she thought.
He's kind to her, as always, and doesn't pressure her into anything.
She doesn't kiss him anymore, and she wraps several blankets around herself when he holds her at night.
Every night, she dreams about Jacob and the night they spent in the tent.
XXX
Two months later, and things haven't changed. Everything is cold and distant between Bella and Edward.
She realizes what she must do.
"When I kissed Jacob, I realized that I loved him just as much as I loved you. I needed more time to see where my relationship with him would go, but..."
"you never got the chance," he finished.
"I love you, Edward, but I can't be with you anymore. I can't be with you completely because that would require me to leave everything behind and turn into a vampire, and I wanted it so badly, but, now, Jake..Jake's death made me see that the cost of it is too much. Jake died for my life, and I no longer see the value in turning into a vampire. If I left, who would take care of Charlie and Renee? You know, I had this vision of a human life, and now that I've had it, I just, I can't let it go, Edward. I'm so sorry."
Edward's hurt, but he expected as much. Alice's visions since Jake's death all pointed to Bella staying human. When she returned to the tent after the kiss, she had changed, and he knew it immediately. Deep down, he knew if Jacob hadn't died, Bella would have chosen to remain human.
Though he is heartbroken, he's happy that she'll now live the life she was meant to.
The Cullens would make sure the Volturi stayed away from Bella.
XXX
She goes to community college in Port Angeles.
It's hard to make friends, but she speaks to a few people here and there.
It takes her two months to detect Edward's presence. She accidentally saw his reflection in the mirror and knew he was probably there to make sure she was okay.
Alice sends her a text telling her the same.
XXX
Bella spends a lot of time at Billy's. In fact, she and Rachel have sort of become...better acquaintances.
Jacob's room remains untouched.
She wouldn't want it any other way.
Quil, Embry, and Seth manage to put a smile on her face, and make her laugh, but no one made her laugh like Jake did.
XXX
She and Charlie spend all major holidays on the reservation.
Christmas is a somber affair, until Rachel and Paul get in a fight.
There is still a stocking for Jacob.
XXX
Bella goes to the garage with a cupcake on Jake's birthday.
"I miss you, Jake."
XXX
She's made some new friends in her study group. They're kind of like her, quiet, awkward so they get along well, mostly because conversation is kept to a minimum, but they eat together, and get together for movies. No hard partying, but it's simple enough and it gives her a lot of joy.
Oddly enough, she spends a lot of time with Quil, Embry, and Seth. They're always over at Charlie's, or she's always hanging out with them at La Push.
Seth has a crush on her, and sometimes, when he looks at her, she sees the fifteen year old Jake she flirted with at the beach.
Alice calls a lot, and she chats with her friend about what's going on her life.
Edward still watches, but keeps his distance.
He's waiting for something.
XXX
She's just finished her final exam and is rushing out the door to go home when she slams into someone and falls down, dropping her books.
How typical.
"I'm sorry," she says immediately.
"No worries, totally my fault," a husky voice replies.
She sees Edward in her peripheral vision with a concerned look on his face.
"Here, let me help you up," the stranger offers, holding out his hand. Bella takes it and looks up at his face.
She's shocked.
It's Jacob's smile.
"You okay?"
"Huh? What?"
"Hey, you're Bella. We have class together."
"We do?" she asks, stunned.
"Ouch. Wow. It's nice to know I'm not even worthy of being noticed," he pouted.
Bella smiled.
"Johnny," he said offering his hand, smiling at her.
"Bella, nice to meet you," she replies, shaking his hand.
"Well, now that you've bruised my ego, I'm going to get going."
He walked over to his motorcycle and got on.
Edward's disappeared, but Bella doesn't notice.
"Maybe, sometime, you want to go for a ride with me? That is, if you remember my name and all?"
She smiles, trying to hide her laughter.
"Sure, sure."
It feels like a small step, and it is, but she knows it's the right one.