Engaged! The next half hour.
After Margaret and John get engaged. What next? - BOOK BASED
NOTE: 1. words in italic are extracted from the N&S book
2. In this story, I wrote a long conversation between Margaret and John. Later, I extracted some passages to include in another story of mine: Your mother's tones as she says, 'That woman!' (sorry! the repetition was unavoidable)
AN EXPLANATION:
- While I love the end of the book and the shortness of the final scene, I feel certain that Margaret would want to make sure that John knows every single detail about Frederick and his visit to Milton. After all, she has been in agony for about two years about her lie. Therefore I wrote her telling as a long, drawn out and detailed explanation. (You've been warned!)
I hope you enjoy it.
Engaged! The next half hour.
'How shall I ever tell Aunt Shaw?' she whispered, after some time of delicious silence.
'Let me speak to her.'
'Oh, no! I owe to her,—but what will she say?'
'I can guess. Her first exclamation will be, "That man!"'
'Hush!' said Margaret, 'or I shall try and show you your mother's indignant tones as she says, "That woman!"'
They laughed. Mr. Thornton pulled Margaret closer to him and she laid her head in his shoulder. They were silent but both of them were immersed in thoughts about the last few minutes. They had shared just a few words and, yet those words had been full of meaning. In those few minutes, all the barriers that had kept them apart from each other for so long had smashed down. All the misunderstandings, all the unfriendly words and all the hurts could now be forgotten with no need for further explanation.
Margaret felt emotional that the strong need she had felt for so long to explain to Mr. Thornton her reasons to lie to the police inspector – a lie, which she believed had caused her to lose his regard for her - was brushed way, with no need for further explanation. All he had said was 'Not good enough! Don't mock my own deep feeling of unworthiness' to her comment 'Oh, Mr. Thornton, I am not good enough!' which, was her way to start to talk about the lie. Still, she felt that she wanted to tell him all!
And Mr. Thornton felt equally emotional about Margaret's answer, when he recalled the riot, and his proposal to her on the following day. On that day, long ago, she had said to him that 'there was not a man—not a poor desperate man in all that crowd for whom I should not have done what little I could more heartily'. Those words had hurt him deeply and for very long. In fact, he had never been unable to forget them and, until a few minutes ago, he had believed them to still hold true. But then Margaret told him 'I remember how wrongly I spoke to you,—that is all'. He was not longer one in the crowd. He was the one she preferred above anyone else. He was the one she loved.
Margaret knew that very soon she would have to talk to Aunt Shaw. What should she say? How would her aunt react to the news? She did not think that Aunt Shaw would be angry, or unhappy or anything of the kind. She knew that her aunt would want her to marry for love. The main problem was that her aunt would be very, very surprised, because Margaret had never spoken to anyone about Mr. Thornton in any way that suggested she had any feelings for him or him for her. In fact, since her return to London, she had mentioned his name not more than a few times, and it was mainly to Dixon - after Dixon's return from Milton. In her conversations with Henry Lennox, his name was mentioned more often; but those were business conversations; and they only talked of Mr. Thornton as Margaret's tenant. And now, that Margaret had been longer than a year in London; she would have to tell her aunt, for the very first time; that she loved someone she had left behind, in Milton; when she came to live in London. And she would have to tell her that she had loved and missed him during all that time - even if she had not told anyone before and no one had suspected it. Margaret was sure that it would require many explanations to convince her aunt of the veracity of her feelings towards Mr. Thornton... and also of his feelings for her. She knew that her aunt would not look well on the engagement if she thought that Mr. Thornton wanted to marry her only because of her money. And this, Margaret thought, will be one of the first things my aunt will think; because she knows about his current financial difficulties. No, she thought, she would have to tell her aunt everything, even before her aunt asked. She would have to tell her aunt about Mr. Thornton's first proposal to her, when he was rich and she was poor; she would have to tell how he had been good to the family; about the times he went to her house only to take fruits to her mother - when her mother was sick; and about the support and friendship he gave to her father when her mother died. Their talk would take a while!
What about Edith? How would she react? Would she be angry or annoyed? Would she cry? Edith had a tendency to make big dramas out of small problems. Normally, Margaret did not mind those and simply let Edith be Edith. But today, she hoped that Edith would not make a big scene and could be happy for her.
For herself, Margaret was not worried. Whatever Aunt Shaw and Edith reactions and whatever they said on hearing her news, it would not change anything: she was in love with Mr. Thornton; he loved her and they would be married soon - she wanted to marry Mr. Thornton soon; and she felt sure that he too, would want to marry her soon. What worried Margaret most was that her aunt or Edith would question Mr. Thornton suitability as her husband; and even more that they would say something about him being in trade or being poorly educated. She shrank from the idea that Mr. Thornton may hear such a comment. She could not let anyone of her family hurt him. She had already hurt him plenty herself! And just thinking about this possibility made her feel slightly sick. It was a good thing that Aunt Shaw house was solidly built; and that her aunt would be either in the front drawing room or in her private rooms, some distance away from the back drawing room, where Mr. Thornton and she were now.
It would be much easier, thought Margaret, if she could talk to her aunt after Mr. Thornton left the house. If he lived in London she would suggest this idea to him. Then he could come back to the house in the evening or in the next day. But Mr. Thornton lived in Milton. She did not think that she could ask him to come back another time... he may have other things to do in London, people to meet and be busy. And he may have to return to Milton this same day. Also there was the very important question of the money. She wanted to give him access to her money straight away, if possible, this afternoon; so that on his return to Milton he could restart the works in Marlborough Mills immediately. In which case, he had things to do this very afternoon. No, it may be impossible for him to come back later...
While Margaret was thinking about her talk to her aunt, Mr. Thornton was thinking about his talk to his mother. He was not thinking about what words he was going to use. He would have plenty of time to think about this during his long train journey back to Milton. For now, he was trying to imagine his mother reaction to the news of his engagement to Margaret; but as much as he tried, he could not figure out exactly how she was going to respond.
Happy in each other's arms, neither Margaret nor Mr. Thornton had any idea that their thoughts were so similar. Silence seemed a natural thing just then. Margaret spoke first:
'Mr. Thornton, when are you going back to Milton?'
'Tonight! I hate the thought of it, as I would rather stay longer near you, but I must go back today. I will take the night train, but unfortunately is the furthest I can delay. I have a meeting tomorrow morning, with a manufacturer who wants to buy several of my new spinning mules and looms. I will have to tell him that they are no longer for sale; but I cannot cancel the meeting via telegraph. I must tell him in person... But I promise to be back very soon... I'm thinking next weekend. '
Margaret smiled at him; but she didn't say anything. There was no escape; she could not ask Mr. Thornton to come back later. She would have to talk to her aunt while he was in the house; and she could not delay it much longer.
'Mr. Thornton,' she said, 'my aunt will be very surprised when I tell her about us. She has no idea that we have any feelings for each other... I'm sure that she will have many questions... Our talk may take a while.'
Mr. Thornton noticed Margaret uneasiness and asked:
'Are you worried about it?'
'Not really worried! I know that Aunt Shaw believes in marrying for love and that she would want the same for me. But I will have to convince her that I love you and that you love me. As for my cousin Edith ... I feel a bit disloyal to her when I tell you this, for I love her dearly; but...'
She looked at him and continued jokingly 'but the thing is that I will be dashing her hopes that I will always stay near her to write her notes; to run errands for her; and to nurse her children when they are difficult.'
Mr. Thornton laughed. After a short pause, Margaret continued:
'Can I ask you not to mind or to worry if it takes longer before I come back here?' Another pause, then she continued '... Also, can I ask you not to worry if ...' She stopped in mid sentence.
'If?' Mr. Thornton asked, smiling encouragingly.
'If you hear loud voices?' Margaret said a bit ashamed.
'I promise! I will cover both my ears with my hands and have a sleep while waiting for you.' Mr. Thornton said laughing and hoping that his joke would make Margaret more confident – he had noticed her uneasiness.
Mr. Thornton noticed that his words did not seem to have had much of an effect. He sensed that Margaret wanted to say something; and he waited calmly for her to speak again. After a long pause, finally it came:
'Mr. Thornton, the man you saw with me at the Outwood station ...'
'Yes, your brother! What about him?' He spoke very calmly, because he was aware of Margaret state of anxiety.
'Do you know he was my brother?' she asked surprised. 'How do know? Who told you?'
'Higgins told me, a few months back.' he answered.
'Nicholas?' Margaret was even more surprised. 'I didn't know he knew anything about Fred.'
'He told me he knew from Mary that your brother was at your home when your mother died. Mary, I understand, was working for your family at the time.' He said in the same calm voice.
'Yes, she was! We sent Martha away to visit her mother, so that we could keep Fred's visit a secret and we brought Mary in; because she is not curious; and she would not gossip about it. I didn't think that Mary would have known who our visitor was. We always kept him upstairs and Mary downstairs; and she went to her own home in the evenings. But then, the walls on our house were very thin; and one could often hear what someone said in another room. Anyway, I am glad that she knew who he was and that Nicholas told you' said Margaret with a much steadier voice.
Mr. Thornton took both of Margaret hands into his and asked in a very friendly way
'But why didn't you tell me yourself, Margaret?'
'I thought about telling you' she said, then stopped briefly. 'Do you remember the day when you asked me if I had any explanation to give you? ... The day when we met in street, after you went to see Nicholas to offer him a job?' She was looking directly in his eyes.
'Yes, I do!' he said quietly, not wanting to stop her flow of conversation, now that she appeared to have regained her courage.
'It was the first time you and I met after I had lied to the police inspector. I was feeling really bad about my lie and even more, ... much, much more that you knew about it.'
'Did you know that I knew about it?' He was surprised.
'Yes, the inspector showed me the note you wrote to him. I understood then that you had made further enquiries to the medical team; and found out that Leonards had not died because of anything that Fred may have done to him. I knew you had saved me from the inquest and I was very grateful to you'. She expressed now her gratitude, through her eyes. The gratitude she had not been able to express before.
Mr. Thornton simply said 'Oh!' He had not expected that Margaret would ever see the note he wrote to the police inspector. His actions had been motivated by his sincere desire to spare her the need to appear in court; but when he performed his act of service to her; he believed that she would never know about it. He was not sure that he liked that she knew what he had done; but he quickly checked his feelings. This was the old him! If she found out, she found out! Those things happened! He was a very happy man; too happy to worry about things that no longer matter.
Margaret was looking intently at him; and she noticed that his attention was somewhere else. She stopped talking and only continued when he looked into her eyes; and she knew that she had his attention again.
'I wanted to tell you, but Fred had asked not to tell anyone about his visit, not even my Aunt Shaw. So, when you asked for an explanation; I began to think what I could tell you without betraying Fred. But while I was deciding what to tell you; you told me that you no longer cared for me.'
Mr. Thornton gave a sigh... 'What have I done?' he thought to himself.
Margaret continued 'I may have told you. No, not may, ... I would certainly have told you something; if I thought that you still loved me; but if you didn't what reason did I have to tell you a family secret? A secret, such as that, that even I had not been told all the details until we moved to Milton?'
'You didn't know?' he was surprised again.
'No, when it happened I was young and leaving in London. I got just a vague idea of what had happened. After that, every time I went to Helstone, my parents never even mentioned Fred's name. I missed him deeply and I wanted to find out what had happen, but I felt too uneasy to ask. I thought that, if I asked, I would renew my parents' pain. But, after we moved to Milton mother told me everything; and she showed me the letters Fred wrote to her during his time in the Navy.'
Mr. Thornton sighed again. An idea was forming in his mind and he could not let it pass. He asked
'But Margaret, did you want me to still be in love with you then? Did you care for me then?'
'Yes', she said very quietly. Her eyes felt moist. How long had she suffered, believing to have lost his love!
'What a fool I have been!' said Mr. Thornton, kissing the tears that were rolling down Margaret's face. 'I'm so sorry, love. I was so jealous! ... So stupidly jealous of you, that I lost all control. But I never stopped loving you. Never! Not for a single day!'
He took both her hands and kissed them. Then he put her arms around her and pulled her close to him. He held her very tightly. 'I'm so sorry!' he said again, whispering through her hair.
After a short pause, Margaret said:
'Mr. Thornton' but he interrupted her, saying 'aren't you ever going to call me John?'
'John, when you talk to your mother, can you please tell her everything about Fred and also tell her that I asked you to?'
'Do you really want that?'
'Yes, I do! I know that your mother does not have a good opinion of me at the moment, but now that we will be married, I want her to know the truth. I mean... the truth about Frederick. I know that you did not tell her about my lie to the inspector. You don't need to tell her about that. But please, tell her everything about Fred', she repeated.
'I am not sure I know everything about him, myself. You may need to tell me first if you want me to give her the correct information', said Mr. Thornton.
Then Margaret told him everything. She told him about the munity, about her mother's wish to see Fred before she died, about her letter asking Fred to come immediately, if he wanted to see his mother alive, about Fred's arrival late in the night, about his secret stay at the house, about Dixon meeting Leonards in the streets; and how this led to the decision that Fred had to leave Milton before the funeral. She told him about her idea that Fred go to London to meet with Henry Lennox to discuss the possibility of a fair trial and the chance of Fred's acquittal from his crimes. She told him all that had happened at the Outwood station. She told him about Henry Lenox being away from London on Fred's arrival, so delaying Fred's departure to Spain. She told him about her not knowing if Fred was still in London or if he had already departed, at the time that the police inspector came to her house. And she told him that she had lied, afraid that Fred, because of a false accusation of man slaughter could end up being hanged on mutiny charges.
At that moment – in fact, for the last half an hour or so, from that moment when Margaret explained her business proposition to him - Mr. Thornton was no longer the jealous man who lost control of himself every time he was near Margaret. He was again the very intelligent man he normally was. And in his relaxed state of mind, he was able to understand much more than what Margaret was saying; and he was getting insight into what she left unsaid. When Margaret finished telling him about Fred; his thoughts went back to that day when he overheard Mr. Hale say to Mr. Bell 'a letter from Henry Lennox. It makes Margaret very hopeful'. At the time, his reactions to those words had been strong; he had felt the urge to go out of the room that very instant and never set foot in the house again. Now, he simply stated, in a matter of fact way:
'And you kept correspondence with Henry Lennox after that.'
'Yes,' said Margaret, completely unaware of his recent insight on how his jealousy had driven him to imagine totally fanciful scenarios, 'Mr. Lennox kept me informed of all his efforts in tracking witnesses that could have helped Fred. Efforts, which unfortunately, all turned to nothing!'
Feeling a great peace and lightness of heart, Mr. Thornton said:
'You know Margaret, for a long time, I was very jealous of Mr. Lennox. In fact, until about half an hour ago, if this is how long we have been talking to one another.'
Margaret was looking at him in total surprise. 'Jealous of Mr. Lennox? But I never cared for him in that way! ... A long time ago, before we moved to Milton, Mr. Lennox and I used to be friends. Just friends, nothing more! We agreed in many things, had similar opinions and similar likes and dislikes. But I changed so much during the time that I lived in Milton and I learned so many things that; since my return to London, I find that Mr. Lennox and I have drifted apart. We no longer share the same opinions or have the same tastes. How, on earth, did you get such an idea?
'From Mr. Bell', he said smiling. 'When your father died, Mr. Bell told me that Mr. Lennox had you in his mind for at least five years; and that, on your return to London, he would be setting his cap at you... Those were exactly his words.'
Margaret laughed. 'Five years? I haven't known Mr. Lennox for this long'.
After a short pause she continued 'Mr. Bell also told father that he suspected there was something between you and I.'
'I know! He told me that he had told your father as much.'
'Did he?' And now Margaret was laughing wholehearted. 'Really? I never knew that my dear friend was so meddlesome!'
Then Mr. Thornton laughed too, in honest enjoyment of the moment. His eyes shone and again Margaret admired his beautiful, faultless teeth. She hoped that in the future, when they were married, she would often see that smile.
'Any more ghosts?' said Margaret still laughing. 'Is there anyone else you have been jealous of?'
'All ghosts gone... and returned to their graves!' he added, laughing loudly.
'I'm glad of it!' said Margaret smiling.
Mr. Thornton smiled at Margaret and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her. After a long, delicious silence, she said, lazily:
'I should go and talk to Aunt Shaw... Now, John, remember you promise not to worry if it takes longer before I come back here... and if you hear loud voices!'
'I will not forget! And I will do as I said before.' he said, still laughing.
Mr. Thornton released her, slowly; and then Margaret walked towards the door. She was just about to open it, when she turned towards Mr. Thornton. He smiled at her and waited.
'I will tell you one thing! I am glad that when you talk to your mother I will be safe, here in London, miles away from Milton.'
Then she opened the door and was gone.
THE END
I hope you enjoyed it! Any comment will be very much appreciated!
FROM THE BOOK:
CHAPTER XXIV - MISTAKES CLEARED UP
Why, there was not a man—not a poor desperate man in all that crowd—for whom I had not more sympathy—for whom I should not have done what little I could more heartily.'
CHAPTER XXXV - EXPIATION
Miss Hale might love another—was indifferent and contemptuous to him—but he would yet do her faithful acts of service of which she should never know. He might despise her, but the woman whom he had once loved should be kept from shame; and shame it would be to pledge herself to a lie in a public court, or otherwise to stand and acknowledge her reason for desiring darkness rather than light.
CHAPTER XXXIX - MAKING FRIENDS
'Very few people do speak the exact truth. I have given up hoping for it. Miss Hale, have you no explanation to give me? You must perceive what I cannot but think.'
CHAPTER XL - OUT OF TUNE
it was immediately put aside; but Mr. Thornton's eager senses caught some few words of Mr. Hale's to Mr. Bell.
'A letter from Henry Lennox. It makes Margaret very hopeful.'
Margaret was red as a rose when Mr. Thornton looked at her. He had the greatest mind in the world to get up and go out of the room that very instant, and never set foot in the house again.
CHAPTER XLI - THE JOURNEY'S END
a young barrister, who will be setting his cap at Margaret. I know he has had her in his mind this five years or more: one of his chums told me as much;
CHAPTER LII - 'PACK CLOUDS AWAY'
'I remember how wrongly I spoke to you,—that is all.'