I apologise that this is another 'Thorin is a jerk' story again, but apparently there is too few drama in my own life, so I write some dark fanfics...lol

I only own Gaia. This story is about the time when hurt goes so deep that it changes people. Thorin made a mistake and Gaia will make mistakes, too. Thats life and nobody is perfect.

This is an experiment, so please review! Any sort of critisism is welcome!

Prologue

Thorin had apologised to his burglar. After he had survived the Battle of the Five Armies he had set out for the Shire immediately and had apologised in person. Bilbo had been delighted to see his friend and king and the few of the company who had come with him. Dwalin, Bofur and the Ri brothers had accompanied Thorin on his second quest. Fili, Kili and Balin had stayed in Erebor to watch over the restoration and Oin, Gloin, Bifur and Bombur had travelled back to the Blue Mountains to accompany their families to Erebor.

Only one of the company which had set out of the Shire to reclaim Erebor was missing. In fact, two, because Gandalf had travelled south to Gondor to warn the steward of the growing danger from Mordor. With the wizard gone, the only one who was still missing was Gaia. The female Dunedain ranger, who was never mentionned in any legends nor tales. The woman who had been at Thorins side during their journey and was cast away by his goldsickness. The woman who had loved Thorin and who Thorin had loved back, but had hurt deeply.

Thorin and Gaia had met in Bree, shortly before the quest for Erebor. The female Dunedain had rescued Thorin from two headhunters and had learned to handle the stubborn dwarf prince quickly. She saw the king he would become if the quest was successful. She saw the same doubts lingering in his mind as in the mind of the chieftain of her people, Aragorn, also known as Strider in towns as Bree. Aragorn was the heir to the throne of Gondor, but he was not ready to meet his fate. Thorin was the heir to the throne of Erebor, but he also had doubts. Sometimes he felt not worthy of the task which was appointed to him, to reclaim his homeland and to slay a dragon. Gaia had stayed by his side and had supported him and his quest with all her heart. Her willing heart. Her admiration for the dwarf prince turned to friendship and then to love. After their escape from Goblin town and Azog she had tended to Thorins wounds at Beorns and in the dungeons of Mirkwood she had told him that she had fallen in love. Thorin told her then, that he had fallen in love with her the moment she had appeared in Bree and had sat down at his table, courageous and brave, scaring the headhunters away with only her presence. He had not acted on his attraction, because he had not expected to be drawn to a female from the race of men. He had had various lovers in his life, some female, some male, some dwarves, some men, but he had never expected to find love in an Inn in Bree.

They had shared their first kiss in Laketown, after Thorin had revealed to the towns people who he was. The merry feast and also the high amount of alcohol had led to a passionate night in a long awaited bed. Thorin and Gaia had not slept at all that night, they had relished in the sight of each others bodies and had explored each other with their lips and hands. Thorin had initially planned to court Gaia properly, but both knew that the quest might claim their lives and did not want to wait. But the next day the two lovers had sworn that they would court each other properly once they had reclaimed Erebor.

As Thorin had to leave Fili and Kili behind in Laketown, Gaia was the one who saw his pain and his sorrow about his decision and assured him that he had done the right thing. She had taken his hand into hers and had offered him comfort.

At Durins Day, Gaia had been the one who had held Thorin back on the mountainside as the last sunlight of Durins Day had vanished. Remembering lord Elronds words in Rivendell and the fact that the map was written with moon runes, Gaia forebode that the moon would reveal the keyhole. She had forced Thorin and his dwarves to wait until the light of the moon shone upon the keyhole in the secret entrance. And then...their luck turned. As soon as the door had opened Thorin started to change. He did rush after Bilbo as the dragon had awaken, but only after Balin and Gaia had forced him to remember that Bilbo was not only their burglar, but their friend and part of the company. Gaia had followed him and had seen the look in his eyes as he looked upon the treasure of Erebor. She had watched in horror as Thorin had pointed his sword at Bilbo as the hobbit arrived without the arkenstone in his hands. During the struggle against the dragon Smaug, Thorin had been himself, but not for long.

Gaia had watched with worry as Thorin spent more and more time inside of the treasury after Smaug had left the mountain. She had tried to talk to him, to divert his thoughts and to lure him away from the gold. But Thorins lust for the gold had gotten stronger than his love for the woman, his friendship to the hobbit and the responsibility for his kin. The dwarf prince was lost.

As the armies of elves and men appeared in front of Erebors gates, all sanity had left Thorin and the madness made him see enemies at every corner. One day later, Bilbo revealed to him that he had stolen the arkenstone and had given it to the men to force Thorin to negociate with them. As Thorin grabbed the hobbit and hurled him over the edge of the balcony, Gaia was the only one who fought for the hobbit. With a desperate kick she made Thorin stumble backwards and saved the hobbit from crushing onto the rocks bellow them. In his rage Thorin had also grabbed Gaia by her throat and had looked at her with nothing but hatred in his eyes. But he had not killed her, although Gaia wished that he had. The dwarf prince banished them both from Erebor and from his heart. But Bilbo as well as Gaia had stayed loyal to him. They fought for him in the Battle of the Five Armies and had suffered own injuries. While Bilbo lay on the battlefield, unconscious from a falling rock, Gaia had charged Bolg as he went for Thorin and his nephews. Together with the elven captain of Mirkwood she shielded the heirs of Durin and saved their lives. Gaia was severely hurt by Bolg and had to be taken care of by the elves after the battle. As she awoke after battling her severe injuries and fever she heard that the dwarf prince had asked for the halfling and had begged for his forgiveness. He had not asked for her. Gaia was exhausted and feverish and Thorin turning only to the hobbit hurt her deeply. Little did she know that Thorin knew that she was alright - he had asked Nori, but he could not ask her forgiveness. He tried to punish himself for what he had done to her, not knowing that he hurt her even more with his behaviour. A deep and dark jealousy had filled Gaias heart and in her heartache she turned from the dwarves of Erebor as well as the hobbit. In the middle of the night Gaia packed a few things and left. Only Gandalf knew where she went and that she would not return. The only thing Gaia had left in Erebor, was her heart.