Authors Note: Thanks to Wolfish Oro for giving me the necessary clichés for this fic, and to everyone who's read it so far.
Fgs fangirls. I got tired of typing it. My fingers are frozen.
Disclaimer: If I did own them, they would have killed me by now. I write, therefore, I am and they hate me.
"Oh, look- I have 'chestnut' hair."
"It's dark brown, black if you stretch it."
"Chestnut is the colour of a horse- and it's practically red!"
"Sometimes."
"Don't you side with them! You're just glad that they're not picking on you."
"Exactly."
"Feather-head."
"Hey!"
"Well that's what they say!"
"Hrmph."
"Oh, look! You've lost your powers again!"
"And are trapped Above ground."
"Shut up, Higgle."
"Hoggle!"
"Whatever."
"Ahh! Another plot hole."
"How big?"
"At least big enough for three- maybe four if they're small."
"Good. I have hundreds lined up."
J poofs away and appears several moments later, leading a small train of fangirls, chained together and drooling.
"These'll do?"
"More than."
fangirls: drool
"Where shall we put them? This story has more holes than Swiss cheese."
"In the middle looks good."
"Come here, girls."
Fangirls: leap at him, all desperately trying to get at him first."
"Down! Down girls!"
Fgs: sit obediently
"Didn't know you could do that."
Fgs: growl
"Apparently they dislike you."
"Well I did beat you."
Growl.
Jareth: grabs a rolled up newspaper and whaps them on the head."
Whimper
"Quiet. In."
fangirls go trusting to his previous promise that he would join them momentarily, and several moments later, there are horrible screams and yelps.
"That felt good."
"Damn straight."
"Very."
"Back to work."
"Someone shaved my head."
"What'd you do to them?"
"Nothing!"
"Ten bucks is on the Bog."
"Nah. He would'a smelled them coming a mile away. Oubliette."
"Shut up."
"I'm dying of old age. Now I'm fifteen. I'm dying again. Only you're killing me."
"Wouldn't be surprised."
"Oh, look! I've matured twenty years in five seconds!"
"I tricked you into comitting suicide."
"And me."
"You didn't trick me this time- I just randomly did it."
"I'm having a screaming fit."
"I'm having a temper tantrum."
"At what age?"
"Thirty four."
"Huh. My last one was at seventy two."
"You age slower."
"Obviously."
"I'm in a mental institution."
"For the twenty seventh time in one day."
"Twenty eighth."
"I've gone insane because someone killed off every single person in my life for no apparent reason."
"Not unusual, all things considered."
"No, unfortunately not."
"My hair is 'ravens wing black'."
"So's mine."
"You're a blonde."
"Yes. Apparently I went a little crazy after you... completed ... the Labyrinth and took to gloomy love songs, bad poetry, black nail polish and... a great deal of self- injury."
"Me too. Only I didn't have to die my hair."
"I hate my life."
"Me too."
"But it's only because of all these horrible fics."
"True. But I still hate it."
"I second that."
Any suggestions? Send them to me! In other words, review!
Yes, you.
April 18, 2008