When I See Her Smile

A/N: I don't own GMW or the lyrics to the song When I See you Smile by Bad English (Lyrics by Diane Warren)

Lucas

I walk down the hall to my history class with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Seems everyone is TELLING me how I should feel- no one is ASKING me.

While we were in Texas, Riley decided that we are siblings. Nothing could have hit me harder than when she said that…. Oh wait- she followed it up with "I love you Lucas and now I know how" Are you kidding me? I would have done anything for her to tell me that she loves me.

Now, I'm "dating" Maya because she decided she likes me as more than a friend. I'm flattered but I don't have any romantic feelings towards her. I care about her, after all she is one of my closest friends, but I don't see her as my other half.

I'm really bothered by the fact that everyone just assumes I am going to fall in line with what THEY want me to do. It's like the first time Riley and I tried dating. We caved into peer pressure and suddenly we couldn't talk to each other.

I talked to Farkle and Zay about everything. Farkle suggested I let things go for a short while. He feels that Riley is stepping aside for Maya….that she still has strong feelings for me. It's driving me crazy but I am waiting…. Very impatiently I might add.

I walk into the classroom and take my seat. I am the second to last person to arrive. Charlie walks in just as the second bell rings… He stops at Riley's desk and loudly says "Wow Riley, got a new notebook? Nice". He smirks in my direction as he takes his seat in the back of the room. I wonder how much detention I would get if I just walked up and belted him. Honestly? I think it would be worth it.

I get through history without losing my cool. I decide to cut classes for the rest of the day. I'm tired, my mind is on overdrive and if I have to spend one more minute being "Mr. Perfect" I am totally going to flip my lid.

I head to Central Park and find a shady bench to sit on. It's December and it gets dark early here in NY. I plan to sit here until the sun starts to set or until I start to go number from the cold.

I put my earphones in and turn my IPod on.

The first song that plays is what I call my Riley song:

"Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue

'Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world's closing in on me,
And there's no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I want to give up
I want to give in, I want to quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And everything's alright, everything's alright

[Chorus]
When I see you smile
I can face the world,
Oh oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light,
Oh oh, I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing
In this world that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don't feel it, 'cause you're here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I'll ever need, you're all I'll ever need

Sometimes I want to give up
I want to give in, I want to quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything's alright, everything's alright

So right

I get lost in the music. She really is my sunshine. She makes me want to be a better person. She doesn't expect perfection but I want to give it to her just the same. I am lost without her by my side. Everyone says we are too young to feel such strong emotions. What's that old saying? Age is just a number? Who decided you have to be a certain age to feel strongly about something or someone? The facts are simple. I can't imagine not having her in my life. I live for her smile.

I sit for hours, just lost in my thoughts and memories. The sun starts to set around the same time I realize I can no longer feel my fingers or toes. I take my earphones out, put my Ipod away and re-zip my jacket.

I will wait until New Year's Eve for Riley to come to her senses. After that- all bets are off. I will not start off the New Year without her by my side.