Gomenasai
The day had finaly come, it really started to get through to me. She's not coming back! Hinata is lost to me. I had never really listened to my elder sister, everyone was always looking down on her and I was afraid I would end up the same way. Being looked down upon, that is.
Time and time again I pushed her away, after a fight, after she bandaged my wounds, … I never saw how valuable she was, I was taking her for granted. Hinata …, I never saw her as a sister and I was a fool in doing so.
Now, when I look around, I see a lot of girls crying, oh how I wish I could be one of them. As usual though the elders had lectured me: "Real Hyuuga's don't cry, we do not show weaknesses." Yet I couldn't stop one little tear from leaving my eye. Gomen nasai neesan.
What I thought wasn't mine When I wanted to cry Gomenasai for everything
In the light
Was one of a kind,
A precious pearl
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
I always miscalculated her didn't I? first I just saw her as one of those main branch brats, thinking they're better than the rest of us and rubbing it in our faces.
Yet my 'al-seeying-eyes' failed to see how she did her best to help the side branch as good as she could. Cleaning her own room, helping the cooks, giving painkillers, medicine … she was so innocent. A frail little doll.
A doll practically ripped to pieces by me in the chuunin exams. Naturally she forgave me, but she never forgot. I saw it in her eyes every time I made a sudden movement in her direction. It pained both her and me, yet there was nothing I could do about it.
Later on I started to realize she was much stronger then she let on. We would need that strength if we wanted the clan to survive its own laws. However the pain I saw in her eyes at those sudden movements made me too afraid to ask her. And now … it was too late. The clan was probably doomed. Gomen nasai Hinata-sama
What I thought wasn't all When I wanted to call you Gomenasai for everything
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
And ask you for help
I stopped myself
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
It had all happened too fast, one minute I was holding a tiny baby in my arms, the next thing I know I'm training a little girl and keep putting her down.
It seemed a dream, but this little girl was definitely mine. Yet I called her so many horrible names, not able to show my true feelings. She wasn't as strong as other clan members, so I tried to strengthen her. I should've seen that it was only hurting her. Breaking her more and more every day.
After a while she seemed to drift away from me and I started to miss her. It became clear to me what a strong daughter I had when other people came to me talking about how good she was on missions, what a strong, smart and especially gentle girl I had raised. What a privilege it must've been to have such a girl. indeed it was, I privilege I'd never realized I had.
She started taking harder and harder missions and although I wanted to tell her time and time again about how proud I was and how much I loved her. I just left, walked by her and murmured something about not being a burden. Such a mistake I made time and time again.
Gomen nasai, Hinata, my daughter.
What I thought was a dream When I wanted to tell you Gomenasai, for everything
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
I made a mistake
I walked away
Gomenasai, Gomenasai, Gomenasai
I never needed a friend,
Like I do now
All three Hyuuga's were standing at the front of the crowd during the ceremony, all around them girls were crying, saying how beautiful the flowers were. Older people were talking about how they had known the bluenette since she was a little girl.
Music started to play and Akamaru walked down the aisle, behind him you had Kiba and Temari, and then Shino and … Hinata. It was a habit in Suna that the bride was guided towards the groom by her father.
Hinata had left the clan a short while ago. Asking an ex-clan member to guide her to the altar even if he was her biological father would feel awkward. So she asked Shino to guide her, when Hiashi saw this his heart clenched. To make sure Kiba wasn't jealous, he was her best man, thus causing Neji to look away from time to time. Remembering their happy childhood and how close they were. Akamaru got to be ring bearer, a job the dog did with great pride. The little sister of the bride never before felt jealous of an animal. It wasn't a pleasant feeling
The gentle kunoichi never realized she put a stab through three former family members' heart.
She walked happily down the aisle towards the love of her life, her husband to be, Sabaku no Gaara. Kazekage of the village hidden in the sand. After the wedding she would move in with him and his siblings. Seldom would she return to Konoha, and even if she did, the Hyuuga manor would not be one of the places she visited. This was a truth that everyone realized, yet none realized it as much as these three Hyuuga members.
Gomenasai, I let you down
Gomenasai, Gomenasai,
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
Done
I know I always make characters feel guilty, I don't know why I do it. Somehow it always ends up that way. But I'm rather content with the way this turned out. ^^
I guess you can see this as an epilogue to either 'so much better' and 'when the truth lies' though I'll probably write another epilogue for the latter, since this one doesn't fit 100%.
Bye peeps