He haunts me. His velvet voice invades my thoughts, calling to me. Once again, I try in vain to ignore his pull and move on with life. Responsibilities stack up around me. There is so much I must do just to keep up with today, but through it all his melodic hum draws me like a Pied Piper. No! I fight with myself to stay here, in the present. How much time have I spent away? How much do I miss each time I give in? It's as if roles have switched and now he is exactly my brand of heroin.
I find myself looking everywhere for him, even though I know he will not be found. I gaze at the gray sky and imagine he'd be comfortable on a day like today. As I drive, I peer into every silver Volvo. Ridiculous as it seems, I wonder if there are others who can read thoughts. Could they read mine? Would they think I was crazy? A grown girl lost in a fairy tale…
And he is the stuff of fairy tales. Everything about him unites to make him so obviously supernatural. Those disarming golden eyes know much more than they should. Unbelievable strength and speed are housed in his sculptured stone body. Impeccable manners, a streak of chivalry, lifetimes of intelligence, skillful fingers able to summon masterpieces as they dance across ivory...
No, he couldn't be real. And yet, how could he not live? The undeniable substance of his character has me hooked. I long to catch and hold his gaze; long to risk vulnerability for the thrill of peering into his soul. A soul that has somehow seen too much. A soul that seems to rage within and yet is ruled with the strength to be quiet and gentle. A steeled soul bearing the ultimate tests of time and temptation. He utterly fascinates me.
Before him, life ran its course. Sure, happiness and even excitement crossed my path. But with him came magic; I began to exist differently. Now each breath, each heartbeat intensifies every passing moment. My blood feels as if it runs thicker, heightening my senses, reminding me I am alive. Little things gone unnoticed before do not slip by me now, not without his magic touching them. A new awareness, a new passion lives within me. Does he know it is because of him?
He whispers again. I am caught; time with him takes me farther from reality. Yet for me, there is no longer a world without Edward. Resigned, I let myself breathe deeply and almost taste his delicious scent. He is in our meadow laughing with a glimmer in his eye as he reaches out to me.
"Silly girl, why are you fighting it? Come and sleep, love." With that he starts singing my lullaby. My heart flutters with excitement. I close my eyes once again to the world around me and escape into his waiting arms.
Author's Note: Written from Bella's point of view as if Edward was her own muse. Thanks to the talents of Stephenie Meyer, I too am hooked.