Dear Keith,

Do you remember the day that you left? It's the one day that has always upholded a spot in my mind every day I'm reminded you're not here. I woke up as usual like most mornings, but when I turned over, you weren't there. There was no proof of your being there. No indent in the mattress that would have said, "I was here."

I got out of bed as usual, and made my way to the bathroom. You remember how the light was always way too dim in there? Of course you do. You always hit your head on the cupboards, dumby. Now, it barely illuminates your red toothbrush on the counter, the comb of it starting to fray. I finally had the courage to throw the thing in the trash. It just hurt too much to look at.

I made breakfast as usual, having to remember to not make a plate for you.

I still think of you when I pick my clothes for work. You always liked red. It was in everything you wore. Ranging from a red hair tie, from a full on suit, but of course you knew that. I walked out the door in a red tie and headed to work.

What's worse nowadays is that I still come home calling your name for you to give me a hug and we'd talk about our day. You, having paint splatters on your apron, the smell of acrylics, and your goofy grin always made me excited about what new masterpieces were going to be shown to the world. I still have all of your paintings. They were a big part of you and why I loved you. You had such a unique way of looking at a canvas. You would look at it for such a long you would pick up a paintbrush like it was the easiest thing to do and work on the painting until the sun rose up above the sky. You're eyes always reminded me of that sky. I will never see someone with those curious but fierce indigo-blue pearls that accepted me for all my faults.

I was proud to say that you were my boyfriend. I never wanted you to doubt that. Maybe there was a time where I didn't work hard enough to tell you that, and maybe that's part of why you did it. Dangit Keith. I was going to propose to you that day you know? I was so happy about the ring I got you, imagining you saying yes, and then us kissing after saying our marriage vows. That will never happen. You left me. You abandoned me.

You have no idea how much it hurts to remember you in a pool of blood in the alleyway outside our favorite bakery. I held your fading, dying hand when the paramedics couldn't revive you. I lost you. I lost my world. That's not how I wanted to remember you. I should have loved you more. I knew you would get depressed sometimes, but I told you I was always there for you. Maybe I shouldn't be angry.

I'll stop with the sad stuff. I'm here today because I brought you your favorite eclairs from the bakery. Only the best for you. I brought your ring too. You never got to see it. I love you Keith. I'll miss you like you'll never know. How I'll live without you, well, we'll just have to wait and see. For now, I hope you're happy content painting a new masterpiece. I hope so. You deserved way more than the short life you had. I will see you next weekend Keith.

Till next time, Lance

With that the lonely boy choked out his last words and put the letter back in his coat pocket. He fell to his knees and wept. And wept. And wept. He called out your name, but you never came. He wiped his tears away and stood up so he could reach for the small box of eclairs. He set it beside you and then with a deep breath, took out your ring. A lovely rose-gold band that would make any housewife jealous. He kissed it and set it on top of the headstone that read:

In loving memory of

Keith Kogane

October 23,1994- December 4, 2019"

Those we have held in our arms for a little while live forever in our hearts"

With a heavy heart, the boy took a longing glance at the grave and turned to walk home. It was starting to rain that evening. Tears raced down alongside the raindrops overhead. That day, we learned tears lasted longer than the rain.