Title: Ara ara....
Chapter: #1 – Numero Uno
Author: Murto
Pre-FanFic Notes: I've sorta hit writers block, as well as many chronological problems. Here it is, it was bound to happen someday so I give you the first chapter of my short self-insert LH skit random thingee whatsits...
Legal Crap: Well knowing what us authors of comedic LH fics have done I think we all should be sued... however I'm Aussie and the messed-up American mindset of suing everyone and everything completely blows. That's my opinion anyway... Anyhoo, everything in this work belongs to it's respective owners.
--------------------------------------------------------. Chapter #1 – Numero Uno
Fade to black and white screen with the old-school countdown to movie start thingee
5
4
3
2
Fade out
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Murto, an author who is comparatively new to FanFiction, sits at his crappy computer in his 3rd story room in the Hinata Inn. What possessed him to move house many thousands of kilometers north into Japan completely evades him, and why he braves the cold whilst he studies at uni over the Internet also evades him. All we know is that due to the 1hour time difference between his uni and the Hinata most of his assignments end up getting in late.
"Arrgh! Due to the 1hour time difference between uni and the Hinata my assignment is late again!" he grumbled as he read the results on the web. "Oh well, only 10% marks lost..."
'EvilOne82 has signed in' beeped Murto's instant messaging software. Being the povo he is, he opted for the free download of BoganMail; programmed to be 50% more annoying.
"What the...? Who's this" Murto spoke aloud as he typed the same into the computer.
EvilOne82: Just your average evil person bent on keeping onee-chan for myself...
Murto: Heh, I've figured you out now! Your !
EvilOne82: Wow, your soooooo smart. :D
Murto: What the...? Who's editing my messages?
DarkNyan: Ahh that'd be me, nyan.
Murto: Oh, your partner in crime. I'll fix that.
EvilOne82: Like hell you will!
"MMMUUUUURRRRRRTTTTTTOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" yelled Naru with a rather pronounced Doppler affect indicating that she was moving at great speed towards Murto's room.
His door flew open where Naru and almost all of the residents of the Hinata stood.
"Hey! What can I do you for" chirped Murto, hoping that remaining optimistic Seta-style will cool everyone's tempers.
"Why did you email me this picture?" she blasted.
The picture was a very dodgy and obviously fake picture of Shinobu in very revealing clothing (or lack thereof). There was Murto's email address at the bottom with Kanji reading 'Dear Naru, I know what your real sexual orientation is so I sent you this picture. From Murto'.
"Hey! You think I sent you this?"
"Murto-senpai, h-h-how could you?" Shinobu whimpered.
"This is completely unforgivable..." Motoko stated, drawing her katana.
"H-h-h-hang on now, surely we could sit down and discuss this like gentlemen over a cup of tea." Murto said, backing up looking for a nearby ACME Author pen or a Tricorder with which to call for Scotty to beam him up.
BOOM, CRASH, SMACK!!!!!
"Wow! Look at him go!" Kitsune said in awe as she watched him fly over the horizon.
She was sitting at the desk in Kanako's room on her computer. She turned the computer off, hid the tranquiliser gun and stepped over Kanako and Kuro's unconscious bodies on her way out of the room.
"He he hee, I should do this hacking thing more often!"
------------------------------------------------------------------.
Keitaro sat behind a log amongst a dense part of bushland. Clutching his pump-action rifle loaded with paintballs, he panted. After all playing skirmish is not easy on the human body, especially when it's as unfit as a 3rd year ronins.
Beep beep! went his mobile.
"Moshi moshi," He said as he put it to his ear. "I'm kind of busy right now."
"Oh, gomen-nasai. I didn't realise," the voice said. "What are you doin'?"
"Playing skirmish. Su fixed her teleporter so Murto gave us tickets for one free game at his favourite skirmish parlour back in Australia," He commented. "Who is this?"
"Turn around" the voice said.
Naru was behind him and about 2 meters away, holding her semi-automatic paintball rifle in one hand and her mobile in the other.
"DODGE THIS, BAKA!!!!!"
Naru quickly unloaded 4 well-placed shots into his collarbones and vital organs. Then, for reasons completely unbeknown to her, Keitaro vanished into thin air. All that remained was 4 paint splats on the gum tree's trunk and the silence of the bush.
"No, you dodge this!"
Behind Naru he stood and from his vantagepoint dropped the Remote Holographic Projector. He then dropped to his knees and fired 12 rounds into her ass as she ran away for her life screaming 'My ass! My beautiful ass!'.
"All too easy," Keitaro remarked as he loaded another paint canister. "Aren't we gruesome?"
------------------------------------------------------.
All of the residents of the Hinata-sou were sitting in the lounge room downstairs watching "Who wants to be a millionaire".
Eddie McGuire: ...you sure you want to lock it in?
Contestant: Thinks Yes, I'm sure.
Eddie: Ok, and the answer is...turns and looks at camera We'll go to an ad- break now, you'll find out the answers in a few minutes on "Who wants to be a millionaire".
"This show REALLY sucks" Naru complained.
"I agree with Naru-chan, anyone got any ideas for something to do?" Keitaro asked.
"We could take a dip in the hot springs" Motoko said.
"Nah, Keitaro will walk in, get in a chase and be incidentally beaten up again. I want Onee-chan intact for tonight." Remarked Kanako.
"How about a party? We could hold a drinking contest!" Kitsune asked.
"Ara, what about a road trip?" Mutsumi proposed.
"How about a trip to the beach?" Kentaro said, flanked on either side by all of the minor characters.
"Yeah I wanna see Haruka-san in a g-string!!!" Shirai said with tissues jammed up his nose.
"We could test out my latest invention!!!" Su asked.
"BOXING CONTEST!!! TAMA-CHAN vs THE FLYING....Cat...thing...!" Shinobu yelled excitably, her voice floating off as everyone sweatdropped.
"What about a lightsaber duel?" spoke Haitani.
"Nah, VAMPIRES!!!! We could go around sucking peoples......umm........blood, yeah...." Motoko said rather Out-of-characterly.
"What about a game of poker?" Mei suggested.
"We could always play a game of 'Truth or Dare'." Tsuruko proposed.
"...or 'Spin the bottle'." Seta said.
"I reckon we just continue watching this." Haruka suggested.
"I agree, all the best ideas have been overdone." Keitaro complained, changing the channel to 'Friends'.
------------------------------------------.
#1 – This has to be the sneakiest Kitsune prank I've seen or written in ages. Honestly she just gets more and more like a drunken version of Kanako every time I see her...
#2 – Heh heh heh. KEITARO FINALLY GETS HIS REVENGE FOR YEARS OF TORMENT!!! Also a minor tribute to my other fic, Love vs Hina: A Capture the Flag Fic.
#3 – This one just rips the shit out of all the stereotyped FanFics that are floating around!
Pre-FanFic Notes: I've sorta hit writers block, as well as many chronological problems. Here it is, it was bound to happen someday so I give you the first chapter of my short self-insert LH skit random thingee whatsits...
Legal Crap: Well knowing what us authors of comedic LH fics have done I think we all should be sued... however I'm Aussie and the messed-up American mindset of suing everyone and everything completely blows. That's my opinion anyway... Anyhoo, everything in this work belongs to it's respective owners.
--------------------------------------------------------. Chapter #1 – Numero Uno
Fade to black and white screen with the old-school countdown to movie start thingee
5
4
3
2
Fade out
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Murto, an author who is comparatively new to FanFiction, sits at his crappy computer in his 3rd story room in the Hinata Inn. What possessed him to move house many thousands of kilometers north into Japan completely evades him, and why he braves the cold whilst he studies at uni over the Internet also evades him. All we know is that due to the 1hour time difference between his uni and the Hinata most of his assignments end up getting in late.
"Arrgh! Due to the 1hour time difference between uni and the Hinata my assignment is late again!" he grumbled as he read the results on the web. "Oh well, only 10% marks lost..."
'EvilOne82 has signed in' beeped Murto's instant messaging software. Being the povo he is, he opted for the free download of BoganMail; programmed to be 50% more annoying.
"What the...? Who's this" Murto spoke aloud as he typed the same into the computer.
EvilOne82: Just your average evil person bent on keeping onee-chan for myself...
Murto: Heh, I've figured you out now! Your !
EvilOne82: Wow, your soooooo smart. :D
Murto: What the...? Who's editing my messages?
DarkNyan: Ahh that'd be me, nyan.
Murto: Oh, your partner in crime. I'll fix that.
EvilOne82: Like hell you will!
"MMMUUUUURRRRRRTTTTTTOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" yelled Naru with a rather pronounced Doppler affect indicating that she was moving at great speed towards Murto's room.
His door flew open where Naru and almost all of the residents of the Hinata stood.
"Hey! What can I do you for" chirped Murto, hoping that remaining optimistic Seta-style will cool everyone's tempers.
"Why did you email me this picture?" she blasted.
The picture was a very dodgy and obviously fake picture of Shinobu in very revealing clothing (or lack thereof). There was Murto's email address at the bottom with Kanji reading 'Dear Naru, I know what your real sexual orientation is so I sent you this picture. From Murto'.
"Hey! You think I sent you this?"
"Murto-senpai, h-h-how could you?" Shinobu whimpered.
"This is completely unforgivable..." Motoko stated, drawing her katana.
"H-h-h-hang on now, surely we could sit down and discuss this like gentlemen over a cup of tea." Murto said, backing up looking for a nearby ACME Author pen or a Tricorder with which to call for Scotty to beam him up.
BOOM, CRASH, SMACK!!!!!
"Wow! Look at him go!" Kitsune said in awe as she watched him fly over the horizon.
She was sitting at the desk in Kanako's room on her computer. She turned the computer off, hid the tranquiliser gun and stepped over Kanako and Kuro's unconscious bodies on her way out of the room.
"He he hee, I should do this hacking thing more often!"
------------------------------------------------------------------.
Keitaro sat behind a log amongst a dense part of bushland. Clutching his pump-action rifle loaded with paintballs, he panted. After all playing skirmish is not easy on the human body, especially when it's as unfit as a 3rd year ronins.
Beep beep! went his mobile.
"Moshi moshi," He said as he put it to his ear. "I'm kind of busy right now."
"Oh, gomen-nasai. I didn't realise," the voice said. "What are you doin'?"
"Playing skirmish. Su fixed her teleporter so Murto gave us tickets for one free game at his favourite skirmish parlour back in Australia," He commented. "Who is this?"
"Turn around" the voice said.
Naru was behind him and about 2 meters away, holding her semi-automatic paintball rifle in one hand and her mobile in the other.
"DODGE THIS, BAKA!!!!!"
Naru quickly unloaded 4 well-placed shots into his collarbones and vital organs. Then, for reasons completely unbeknown to her, Keitaro vanished into thin air. All that remained was 4 paint splats on the gum tree's trunk and the silence of the bush.
"No, you dodge this!"
Behind Naru he stood and from his vantagepoint dropped the Remote Holographic Projector. He then dropped to his knees and fired 12 rounds into her ass as she ran away for her life screaming 'My ass! My beautiful ass!'.
"All too easy," Keitaro remarked as he loaded another paint canister. "Aren't we gruesome?"
------------------------------------------------------.
All of the residents of the Hinata-sou were sitting in the lounge room downstairs watching "Who wants to be a millionaire".
Eddie McGuire: ...you sure you want to lock it in?
Contestant: Thinks Yes, I'm sure.
Eddie: Ok, and the answer is...turns and looks at camera We'll go to an ad- break now, you'll find out the answers in a few minutes on "Who wants to be a millionaire".
"This show REALLY sucks" Naru complained.
"I agree with Naru-chan, anyone got any ideas for something to do?" Keitaro asked.
"We could take a dip in the hot springs" Motoko said.
"Nah, Keitaro will walk in, get in a chase and be incidentally beaten up again. I want Onee-chan intact for tonight." Remarked Kanako.
"How about a party? We could hold a drinking contest!" Kitsune asked.
"Ara, what about a road trip?" Mutsumi proposed.
"How about a trip to the beach?" Kentaro said, flanked on either side by all of the minor characters.
"Yeah I wanna see Haruka-san in a g-string!!!" Shirai said with tissues jammed up his nose.
"We could test out my latest invention!!!" Su asked.
"BOXING CONTEST!!! TAMA-CHAN vs THE FLYING....Cat...thing...!" Shinobu yelled excitably, her voice floating off as everyone sweatdropped.
"What about a lightsaber duel?" spoke Haitani.
"Nah, VAMPIRES!!!! We could go around sucking peoples......umm........blood, yeah...." Motoko said rather Out-of-characterly.
"What about a game of poker?" Mei suggested.
"We could always play a game of 'Truth or Dare'." Tsuruko proposed.
"...or 'Spin the bottle'." Seta said.
"I reckon we just continue watching this." Haruka suggested.
"I agree, all the best ideas have been overdone." Keitaro complained, changing the channel to 'Friends'.
------------------------------------------.
#1 – This has to be the sneakiest Kitsune prank I've seen or written in ages. Honestly she just gets more and more like a drunken version of Kanako every time I see her...
#2 – Heh heh heh. KEITARO FINALLY GETS HIS REVENGE FOR YEARS OF TORMENT!!! Also a minor tribute to my other fic, Love vs Hina: A Capture the Flag Fic.
#3 – This one just rips the shit out of all the stereotyped FanFics that are floating around!