Title: Losing A Lifeline
Author: Jackie
Summary: Sometimes you need to say what you feel before it's too late. – Harm/Mac story. Romance/Angst
Spoilers – Anything up to Hail and Farewell
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer – Newp, don't own em.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Digging through my hard drive and have found A LOT of stories never posted here. I had my own site way back when and would put the Angsty stuff over there. This one looks to be written in 2004. Mistakes are my own. At the start Harm and Mac are not in a good place.
PART 1
"You're an idiot!" Lt. Colonel Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie yelled at Commander Harmon "Harm" Rabb Jr. as she stepped out of his SUV. With a slam of the passenger side door, Mac headed away from the vehicle and towards the BEQ at Norfolk. She was tired of talking to the stubborn sailor that she called her best friend. And before she inflicted bodily harm, Mac decided to just walk away.
Harm slammed his fist into the steering wheel and gritted his teeth. What happened to his promise of taking care of her when she found out she was sick? Of helping her while she mourned over losing her boyfriend? Well, that went all out of the window within the recent week. At the moment, he didn't care what the hell happened to Mac or if he ever saw her again. After arming the alarm of his SUV, he took a few quick steps to catch up to her. "And you, MacKenzie are being a complete PAIN."
Mac spun around and jabbed him on the chest. "Commander, *I* am not the one who can not keep their mouth shut!" Oh, yea, she was pissed at him. But, with good reason. Mac had pulled a 'Harmon Rabb' in court, she'd pulled a rabbit out of her hat and obliterated Harm's prosecution. She was happy about that and had a right to be, he was a difficult opponent. However, earlier that week, Harm had suffered a loss. His ward, Mattie Grace, was back to living with her father. Though Harm would still see his surrogate daughter, it wouldn't be the same and that hurt him. It broke him and, like usual, he kept it all bottled up until it ate him alive.
"Mac, I haven't had a good week, okay? You pushed my buttons, I retaliated." He yelled, bringing his arms across his chest.
Mac just glared at him, if that was an apology, he sure as hell had to work on it. "Pushed your buttons? I out lawyered you! What the hell happened to that whole not taking work personal?"
"It got kicked to the curb when you . . . well you sandbagged me in court!"
Mac's glare broke and she just chuckled. "Sandbagged you? Harm, use something more original." She turned on her heels and started heading back towards the BEQ. "Let's just get this over with."
Catching up to her again, Harm grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Aren't you going to ask what is going on?"
"If it was important, you've told me." She was tired of pushing the subject. During the ride to Norfolk, she tired and he chewed her out. But, he didn't stop there, for the past 30 mins of the drive, he kept at it, irritating her beyond belief.
Harm sighed, she was right about that. He'd also broken that promise to himself to be more open with Mac. "Mattie left. . .she's living with her father."
Mac was sorry about that, she knew how much he felt for the teenager, but it was inevitable. "Harm, you had to know that was going to happen."
"It still hurts." He offered with a sad look that reached his eyes.
"You should have prepared yourself better. . . Now, c'mon let's get this over with so we can get back home before dusk." She didn't mean to sound dismissive, in fact, it was a topic she would bring back up again when they drove back home. Or so she thought.
Harm remained rooted in place, he couldn't believe she'd say something like that to him. Didn't she understand how much Mattie meant to him? "Is that all you are going to say?"
"Harm, right now isn't the time for this. . . We'll talk about it, I promise but not now." But, he didn't move, just stood staring at her in disbelief. "Harm?" Mac reached out and touched his arm that was when he came alive.
Throwing his hands up in the air, Harm blew past her. "It always has to be when YOU want doesn't it, Colonel?"
"Harm don't blow this out of proportion." Speeding her pace, she tried hard to match it with his long strides but was still having to double time her steps.
"You know how you feel every time Chloe comes and goes? Get that and multiply it by a million, that is how I feel." He growled, though he couldn't figure out why he wasn't just used to it? He lost Jym, Diane, Jordan, his father, losing Mattie should have fallen into the list. He should be used to it by now. But, if anything, it tore at him just a bit more.
"I know how you feel. . ." Sighing, she reached out and stopped Harm, then turned to look at him. "YOU KNEW this was going to happen, did you expect the judge to just grant you custody because of your smile?"
"What?"
Mac pleaded her case. "You're a single father and for that matter you are not her real father. . . he screwed up, he fixed his life and should have a right to re-gain his daughters trust."
But, Harm wouldn't hear that part. Though he was doing the noble thing, helping out a little girl to fix her life, it still felt like something was taken from him. He still felt like he was better than Tom Johnson and that, in his eyes, had to count for something. "And me? I just get kicked to the curb because some drunk decided to rehabilitate? Would you have gone back to daddy if he fixed himself up." He cringed visibly. What was it about them that would turn their arguments that would turn into petty and spiteful?
Mac looked down. How many times would he have to bring up the rehabilitated drunk line? Sure, he meant Tom Johnson, but part of her knew he was talking about her as well. "Don't make this about me. . . It isn't. . . Tom Johnson ISN'T Joe MacKenzie. . . Tom changed for HER. . . My father never did until it was too late. . . it isn't too late for Mattie and Tom, so stop playing the martyr, Harm because the world doesn't revolve around you."
And that was the end of the conversation. Mac made a decision not to touch it anymore. Not during the rest of the investigation, not during the ride back to DC, not ever. For the moment, she was done talking to Harmon Rabb. "Move it, Commander, I would like to speak to Petty Officer Daniels in this century." She yelled in a commanding voice, springing Harm into action. . .
PART 2
Petty Officer Jimmy Daniels had a new lease on life, at least, until two JAG officers named MacKenzie and Rabb came into his life. He was in his early 20s with a chip on his shoulder and a list of offenses that brought him into the Navy. 'Shape up or ship out' is what the judge in his civilian hearing (the judge being a former Navy man himself), had told him. He had a choice, the big house for 10 years or the Navy. So, Daniels chose the Navy, he knew that the moment he went behind bars, he'd be killed.
So, he lay low for a few years, using the Navy for its advantages. There were several when you were a crook. There was always ways to dupe the foolish sailors and Jimmy always got away with it. That was until an Ensign Marjorie Angler jumped aboard his ship and drove him, literally crazy. He wanted her so much that he killed her. Jimmy thought that he had done well tossing her body overboard, but that was until they docked at Norfolk and the inquires began, brining aboard the forces of nature called MacKenzie and Rabb. The woman, a Marine, was good looking, he thought. And so much his type with her dark skin and expressive eyes. He grinned at her, used a soft voice when he spoke, offered a chair. The Navy boy, he ignored. No, he didn't want to talk with Rabb. It was MacKenzie that caught his fancy. So he played the role of a caring friend that was concerned over Marjorie's "suicidal tendencies." He grinned when they took it all in and believed him. Even when they said he was one of the last persons seen with her, he denied accusations of foul play.
But, today the guards on the base were on high alert. If anything, they were watching him much more. . . closely. He knew what was to come, he knew the JAG officers would ask more questions and then place him under arrest. So he'd surprise them, he'd surprise them all. Everything was going down that afternoon.
Mac knocked on the door and smiled when Jimmy opened up. "Petty Officer Daniels, remember us? Lt. Colonel MacKenzie and Commander Rabb?"
Jimmy nodded expectantly and stepped back to allow them in. He drank in Mac and the way the uniform fit her. Too bad. Oh so sad. "Yes, of course. . . Still investigating Mar's suicide?"
Harm walked in after Mac, his eyes shooting the Petty Officer daggers over the way he was gawking at Mac. "Alleged suicide." He offered, walking towards the small kitchen table, where the three sat down.
"We have a different take on the situation, Petty Officer." Mac said. She looked at him, maintain her expression neutral. And it was irritating Jimmy that he couldn't read her.
He smiled, sat back in his chair and places his hands behind his head. "Call me Jimmy."
But, it didn't amuse Mac, if anything, it infuriated her more. "Petty Officer Daniels. . ." She began, her voice sounding irritated. "You murdered Ensign Angler because she would not sleep with you." She accused with a hard, drill instructor type of voice that even made Harm shutter. "Didn't you?"
Jimmy just shrugged and grinned. He really did like the Colonel. "So what if I did?"
Harm sprang into action, grabbing the Petty Officer and slamming him against the wall. "Cut the cute act, Petty Officer. . . We know you did it."
Mac stood behind her partner. She was never into the whole macho game that men played, but at the moment it wasn't a pissing contest, but rather a murderer that was not going to get away.
Jimmy did his best to try and release Harm's grasp, but it wasn't working. The Commander was much too strong for him. So, he figured, it was time to employ his last resort. Somehow, he managed to fish a small detonator out of his pocket. The moment the object was seen by both JAG officers, Harm let him go and backed off slightly. "Know what this is?" He shook the device in his hand and grinned. "I suggest you two back off, walk away and clear me of any wrong doing. . . If you don't. . . there will be a big bang."
"Jimmy. . . put it down." Mac cooed, trying to attracted the Petty Officer enough for Harm to grab the device. "Look, we'll tell them that you didn't do it. . . We'll blame it on your bunk mate, Petty Officer Stevens. . .Just give the Commander the device."
Jimmy looked at Harm and shook his head. "No. . . YOU have to take it from me."
"Alright." She agreed, keeping her eyes on Jimmy.
Harm turned to her and stuck his arm out, cutting off her forward movement. "No, Mac."
Mac didn't take her eyes off of Jimmy. She just watched him, trying to seduce him into giving her the detonator. "It's alright Commander, Jimmy's gonna give it to me."
Jimmy watched Mac. He was mesmerized by her but with each step she took closer to him, he felt the compelling need to set her free as he did Marjorie. Women as beautiful as them didn't deserve the trials and tribulations of this world. Women as beautiful as them didn't belong in the military and it's war zones. He had to set her free.
Before Mac had even the slightest chance of nudging the detonator away from Jimmy, his thumb came down on a big red button. In the distance, explosions were heard. Explosions that, like a domino effect, were coming closer and closer and closer until it was there.
"Mac!"
"Harm!"
They screamed in unison as the building came down on them. Harm tried to reach for Mac, but it was too late, the wall from the floor above came down between them. The building rattled and shook as the force of the explosion brought everything down like a house of cards. Sounds of bending metal and breaking concrete resonated in the area. The sound deafening and frightening. And just when everything was supposed to be over, another explosion sounded, this one in close vicinity and then, there was dust and silence.