Buffy felt him approaching from behind her. She sighed sadly. She wanted to be alone; the desire to be alone was overwhelming. Nevertheless, she let him place an uncertain hand on her shoulder as silent tears slipped down her cheeks.
"I don't belong here Spike," Buffy said, eyes glistening.
"Nor do I really, I'm supposed to be a ruthless, murdering monster…but here I am fighting my own kind like a potty trained pup. I'm a freak of nature, even more than the average vampire." He chuckled humorlessly.
"You know what I mean." She turned her head slightly so that she could see him. He was watching her with careful eyes, a worried expression on his face. She almost laughed at him; she still found it hard to believe that a vampire without a soul could really care this much.
Spike sighed. "Yeah, I suppose I do." Silence followed as the two remained still as statues.
"It would be so easy you know. There are so many ways that it could be done…" Buffy whispered eerily. A chill ran up and down Spike's spine, and he seized her by the shoulders, spinning her around to face him.
"Don't talk like that luv, just don't." He said quickly. "I don't think I could live if you left this world again."
The smile that followed was empty. "You're not alive anyway."
Spike shook his head in frustration. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I suppose I do," Buffy replied in a mock British accent. Spike rolled his eyes. Buffy's serious expression returned, and she averted her eyes from his. "This world is so much more…painful than I remembered. It would be so easy…letting something slip past my defenses on patrol… Anya's attempt at blueberry pancakes…" Buffy smiled faintly in a sad way and turned to Spike. "Then why can't I do it? I was at peace, I was torn out of that and brought back here…to this hard, painful world, and yet…I can't bring myself to end my suffering."
Spike sat down beside her and placed one hand on each of her shoulders. "That's because you aren't a quitter Buffy. Sure, it may be unfortunate for you, but the world still needs you. We all need you luv. It is your calling, your destiny that roots you to this world of ours, and you are too selfless to ignore it. You can't do it because you gave your life over to fate long ago, and you feel like it isn't your choice to make. You're a hero Buffy, and that's what heroes do."
New tears glistened in Buffy's eyes as Spike finished his little speech. An involuntary smile played at her lips but she tried to suppress it. She failed. "I don't know what to say," she said, eyes locked on Spike's.
Spike swallowed back a lump that had formed in his throat. "Say that you'll stay," he said, almost choking on his words.
Buffy leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. Spike hesitated in surprise, but a moment later he wrapped his arms around her. He breathed in the floral scent of her hair for a moment, and then pulled back slightly. He kissed her forehead gently and swiftly, and Buffy didn't protest. She rested her head on his shoulder once again and his arms tightened around her.
"Time heals all wounds, luv."