Title: In the Mood (or Not)
Author: patientalien
Challenge: SWMININANO
Promp: Smut
Word Count: 648
Characters: Anakin, Padme, others mentioned
Rating: R
Summary: Anakin gets caught by Padme, who now has to make Threepio Febreeze her couch
Author's Notes: Uh, yeah. This is just completely goofy, from the same universe/headcanon as What Happens on Corellia (which was written with the lovely citizenjess, who also provided ideas for this one).
The holozine was not the most recent issue, but Anakin couldn't be picky. In fact, he made it a point not to be picky when it came to things like this - he couldn't be with his Secret Wife (tm) every second, and a man had needs that couldn't be fulfilled with said man's underage apprentice. And sometimes that man's Master "wasn't in the mood" or told him to "stop being stupid," which meant Anakin had become intimately acquainted with his mechanical hand.
Usually it was out in the field, or at the Temple. This was the first time at Padme's place, since he was usually pretty much assured some sweet lovin' whenever he stopped by. Problem was, Padme hadn't been there when he'd arrived, which meant he'd had to put his plans on hold - and he was not the most patient being in the galaxy. Besides, he told himself, this was practically his apartment too, he may as well start acting like it was home. And since he practiced the art of self-love frequently in the places he usually called home (aka, the Temple and the Resolute), he figured this would be a good way to start.
He wasn't halfway through the holozine (and it didn't take long - it wasn't like he was reading the articles or anything) when the door to the apartment slid open and Padme waltzed in, Threepio in tow. "Ani!" she exclaimed when she realized what was going on. "What are you doing here?"
Anakin thought it should have been pretty obvious what he was doing, but Padme often needed things explained to her. "Hey Angel," he said, extracting himself from his pants and wiping his hand across the couch cushion. "I've missed you!"
"Were you just..." She made a crude gesture with her hand, frowning. Anakin nodded, not sure exactly what the problem was. "On my couch?" He nodded again, not sure what about this scenario she wasn't getting.
"Ani, you knew I would be home, you couldn't have waited twenty minutes?" she demanded, finally, handing her bag to Threepio and waving him away. "Seriously?"
Anakin thrust out his lower lip and stood. "I wasn't sure when you'd be back," he replied, "And I just get lonely, and..."
"And are these pictures of Dorme?" Padme demanded, picking up the holozine.
"Maybe?" Anakin said, furrowing his brow, not liking where the conversation was heading.
"Did you think they were pictures of me?" Padme continued, and Anakin knew this was some kind of trap.
"Maybe?"
She sighed. "You probably did. It's not like you can tell us apart." She crossed the room, Anakin following like a nekk puppy. "I mean, you haven't caught on all the times I've had her... fill in... for me when I'm too tired to deal with you."
Anakin frowned, deeper this time. "Wait, what?"
"What?"
"You said..."
"Nevermind, Ani," she said, waving a hand. "Anyway, I'll be attending a dinner party tonight. Which means..." she trailed off, and nodded for him to continue.
"Which means you'll be drunk and ready for sex around ten tonight," he said with a sigh. While he did appreciate Bail Organa's dinner parties and the state Padme left them in more often than not, he didn't appreciate the wait. "Can't we just fit in a quickie now, though? I'm still, uh, ready." He gestured at himself.
Padme stared at him. "No, Ani," she replied. "Though I can get Dorme if you want."
Anakin wrinkled his nose. "No, ew."
"Well, then, you're just going to have to... take care of things... yourself until I get back," she said, arching an eyebrow. "Aren't you?"
As she went to her bedroom to prepare for the party, Anakin hurled himself down on the couch, trying to figure out how to occupy himself for the next few hours. "I wonder what Obi-Wan's doing right now," he muttered.